As we close out the 2010s the media got together to share some of our Bests and Favorites from the decade. We hope you enjoy!
Best BTSH Player Male: Gabe
Best BTSH Player Female: Cherie
Best BTSH Goalie: Tough one but Tim K.
Best BTSH Team: Fresh Kills
Most Powerful BTSH Person (lifting not included) RG1
Biggest BTSH Upset: Sorry Walker, it’s not Gut Rot over Fuzz/Elves, or even Gut Rot over WTP 2010. Anklebiters over FK 2015, Quarter finals.
Best BTSH Game: Hookers over FK 3 OT, semis
Best BTSH Championship: Elves over Hookers 2010
Most Dominant BTSH Team one season: 2015 Filthier (Fuzz thanks Suvin/Denis for moving and Shaq for quitting)
Best BTSH Moment: Boylan dethroning Amy D. in arm wrestling and then making out with me
Best MTA flop: the L train not shutting down
For months, maybe years brooklyn people AGONIZED over what would happen once their precious L train would shut down. Businesses closed up, people sold their homes. Basic bitches and bros who drank at Berry Park fretted about how they’d get into ’willyburg’ to day drink. But then, a few months before the shut down, the plug was pulled and a ~partial~ shutdown instated. Miracle or major inconvenience? Whichever side you’re on, we can all agree it was a weird move by the MTA.
Paris Hilton & “The Selfie”
By Stoop Dogg
“OMG, Let’s take Selfie” is a phrase we utter now with the intention to both mock and accept that all of us have a little bit of that Basic Bisch in us. We owe the creation of the “Selfie” photo to none other than the Queen of Juicy Sweat Suits, Miss Paris Hilton. The “Selfie” has evolved greatly since the first flip phone with a camera, but to say that we all don’t feel the same MySpace vibe as we snap that photo, would be a lie. Plus, the “Selfie” has brought us the great joy and amusement of watching our parents attempt to take a decent photo and then post it to the #gram . We raise our Champagne in a toast of thank you, to you Miss Hilton – you created a whole new category of photography.
Best BTSH Duos
Old School and New School
Craig and Tim B
Diane and Zach
Walker and Millennials
Best Development in Alcohol: Spiked Seltzer
In all its varieties (but actually, Truly Citrus pack > Truly Berry pack > White Claw > Bon & Viv, don’t @ me). I realize by even stating this I’m dooming the trend to the dustbin of history, but I strongly feel it’s one of the best things to happen to our league in the past two years. Whether you’re looking for a light refreshing bev before your game, workin’ on that wedding dress or tux bod, or simply want to look slightly less hung over at work on Monday, spiked seltzer and its 90 calories of fun are there for you and your beer league SELTZER LEAGUE athleticism, in all the ways that High Life isn’t.
Most Amazing BTSH Moments
Georgine’s hat trick.
Chadtrick’s hat trick.
The Best Balls
We all saw a lot of balls this decade. Hard balls, soft balls, bouncy balls, heavy balls. But which balls are the best balls? Here are the contenders:
Winner: As funny as dangly testicles are, orange wins this one by a mile.
Best BTSH Articles
You’ve Got Male by Ophelia Baulls
Saving BTSH from the Curse of Competence! by the Chairman
Behind The Mask by Steven F
They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehabs; I Said No, No, No by Ophelia Baulls with photos by Fonda Cox
BTSH Cultural Glossary by Byron C
Southern Belles of BTSH by Sam N
Stream of Consciousness Preview by Cat B
Premier League BTSH Equivalent by Jerome VR
The Battle of New School vs Old School by Anonymous
Best internet bonding moment: when AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) shut down forever
Spanning generations, the declaration that AIM would log off one final time was a hard hit for everyone. Some of us used it to flirt in college (Rich). Others put Deathcab for Cutie lyrics in their profile (me). While the internet can be a strange, divisive place, this was a unifying moment for all.
The Best Post-Game, Courtside Beverage
Obviously everyone has their go-to, but let’s countdown the most universally beloved drinky drinks most commonly fished out of the trash by everyone’s favorite can-collecting lady:
5. Cro’s Jungle Juice: Nope
4. Water: Haha hydration. Good one.
3. Rolling Rock: What do Rolling Rock and having sex in a canoe have in common? They’re both pretty damn close to water *buh dum tss*. Sorry Rainbows.
2. White Claw/Truly/The Other Hard Seltzers: A late push at the end of the decade nearly got them the top spot, but alas, the winner is…
1. Bud Light: What’s not to love about a refreshing Bud Latte? Flavorful, refreshing, easily beer-bongable. Probably claims the top spot in 2029 too, but that’s an article for another decade.
Best in Sports
Best World Series: Sadly, 2011 Cardinals over Rangers…came back in 9th and 10th innings with 2 outs down by 2 runs
Best NBA Championship: Cleveland finally wins one for Ullman, Morgen, and Rebecca N.
Best Super Bowl: LJ and deLaceY and the Eagles defeat the evil Pats
Best Stanley Cup: Ovie is still drinking out of the 2018 Cup. Hopefully he didn’t lose it in Feasterville like LJ did.
Best player on a Pro Championship Team: Cheeky with the Riveters
The White Claw Effect
By Stoop Dogg
The White Claw, I could think of no other way to Truly describe them, than to do it in song. Enjoy.
“Oh great White Claw, Oh delightful Claw, how are they flavors so yummy! Oh Cold White Claw, Oh Cold White Claw, how are your bubbles so fizzy? Not only in the summertime, but even in winter thy is prime, Oh great White Claw, Oh delightful Claw, how are thy drinks so refreshing! Oh great White Claw, Oh delightful Claw, much pleasure doth thou bring me! Oh cold White Claw, Oh cold White Claw, much drunkenness doth thou bring me! For every time the great Claw, brings to us all both joy and glee. Oh great White Claw, oh delightful Claw, much pleasure doth thou bring me! Oh great Whit Claw, Oh delightful Claw, they cans shine out brightly! Oh great white Claw, Oh delightful claw, thy cans I empty quickly. Each can doth hold its great liquid, that makes or eyes to sparkle bright. Oh great White Claw, Oh delightful Claw, they beauty shine out brightly!
Favorite Sports Moment of the Decade
At the beginning of the decade it seemed inevitable that the Caps would win multiple Cups to go along with their multiple President’s Trophies. Well, things didn’t exactly turn out that way thanks to Oates turning the milk sour and GMGM trading away a blue chip prospect for a stale fart. That lead to a new GM and a legendary coach teaming up to create a juggernaut squad that finally hoisted the Cup, did keg stands with it, started a drinking trend that would be replicated by the Nationals, and solidified Alex ‘Ovie’ Ovechkin as the greatest hockey player of our generation.
Stoop Dogg’s 4yrs in Review: It’s been Lit
By Stoop Dogg
Mega’s, Butchers, Biters, Oh my, how did the last 4 years fly by?! This Dogg’s memory is a bit hazy, not just because I get a bit blazey. Glnzr was Phareux and now he is not, The Hicks and Herr regime took over – that is #sohot. People got engaged, people got married, people had babies, Becca, put back on your shirt – be a lady! Emily Moore snagged a Roberts and Tarzan got a Schmorgie, congratulations, Sam Norris and Marko both left – guys, this is a serious situation. Rehabs upset? No surprise, but be afraid Dark Rainbows and Karma are on the rise. Demons are sweethearts? That’s a blatant lie – don’t tell HilDawg there’s a shortage of Claws, she will cry. The league brought us sisters, they both make you Tremble, John Walker is bored – another committee he shall assemble! We have DRAMA – beers to the face, but nothing in the world could take this league’s place. We are old, we are new, yet we are not in school, bottom line it’s just Black Top Street Hockey, here, have a cold brew.
I scoured my brain thinking about all the great things that happened in BTSH this past decade. From Craig streaking across the rink in Ocean City yelling “I’m a father!” to the resurgence of the BTSH Olympics to Rachel starting the Rose Charities tournaments, a lot of things deserve a mention. However, it quickly hit me that the best thing to happen to BTSH in the last decade was a very recent event. It was also almost the worst thing to ever happen to BTSH.
In the spring of 2019 the NYC government announced all in the same week that they’d be turfing over Moffo Rink and Tompkins, causing LJ to utter the now famous line “I don’t think Walker should be alone right now”. Moffo was unable to be saved (rest in peace, my friend), however, the skaters saving Tompkins from certain doom was hands down the single greatest thing to happen to BTSH this decade.
See you in 2020!