by Arya Stark and Isaac

The 2019 Schedule has dropped and there are an abundance of Must-See-BTSH games. Here’s a look at each week’s marquee matchups along with some bonus games.

Week 1

Mega Touch at Dark Rainbows – rematch of last year’s Schlitz Cup that saw the underdog Mega upset the heavily favored Rainbows.  Cat, Bryan and Dan have been replaying the game their heads all winter and will be out for blood on opening day.

BONUS

Every game is MUST SEE because it is Opening Day!

Week 2

Tompkins Square Riots at Cobra Kai – last season the Riots shocked the league when they forced the evil dojo to OT and then Frost beat Campbell by going five-hole in the shootout.  Can the Riots steal another point or two?

Week 3

LBS at Filthier – both of these teams made it to the Tompkins Square Dance last season and are in the Cup favorite discussion this season.  Tim K and Filthier open the season with a brutal two games and could be desperate for points in this one.

Week 4

Mathematics at Fresh Kills – two clean, fast paced teams that always seem to bring out the best in one another.  Math might be down a Norris this season, but they are up a Herr…

BONUS

Cobra Kai at Fuzz – rematch of last year’s Cup Final that should have been scheduled for Week 1, but we had to wait until Week 4.  I got a hunch that the wait will have been worth it.

Week 5

What The Puck at Gremlins – the Katz Division has produced teams that finish in the top 5 each of the past two seasons.  The Gremlins are projected to compete for the division crown, but they’ll need to get past the sly Pucks first. Game Within the Game – Justin v Jamie.

Week 6

Butchers at Sky Fighters – two teams that experienced tough sledding last year and are looking to bounce back.  Caroline and Greg will be plenty motivated due to Rachel and the Butcher poaching one of their defensepersons.

Week 7

Mega Touch at Denim Demons – divisional matchups are always makeup the best must-see-BTSH and we’re calling an instant classic in this one.  Could it be the beginning of a beautiful rivalry? We sure hope so.

BONUS

Cobra Kai at Mathematics – it’s not exactly certain when Campbell’s shipping out to Boston, as that annoying Dropkick Murphy’s song put it, but I’ve been told it’s going to be first week of June.  If that’s the case, this could be a swan song of sorts. He’ll be back for Ocean City and possibly the playoffs, but this could the last game as a full-timer for 2017’s (somewhat controversial) Rookie Of The Year Winner and one of the best goalies (and singers) in the league.

Week 8

Rehabs at Gremlins – possession v possession.  The strength of both teams is controlling the puck (orange ball) and making smart decisions.  We’re interested to see which one will brain fart more on what is forecasted to be a delightful Spring day.

BONUS

Fuzz at Poutine Machine – Jeff and Fuzz may be the reigning champs, but Poutine is built withstand punches and deliver that knockout counter.  This could be a Cup Final preview.

Week 9

Dark Rainbows at Gut Rot – off the court both teams are all slurpees and vape pens, however, on it is a whole other story.  We all remember the vile comments Yetter spewed about Gut Rot’s fitness and well, Hannah hasn’t forgotten either.

BONUS

Poutine Machine at Instant Karma – classic grind game between two low scoring opponents that try to wear the other down by running, running, running.  Plus, the Poos knocked the Trimbles and Karma out of the playoffs thanks to Hornswoggle’s footsy shootout moves.

Week 10

Corlears Hookers at Gouging Anklebiters – two teams that give zero fucks about each other.  Bring the pizza and PBR for this one… (Team Probie)

Week 11

Cobra Kai at Rehabs – by this point in the season CK could be missing the days of playing in the good ‘ol Caroline division.  The powerhouse that is the Rehabs thrives on reducing opponents to less than equal.

Week 12

Filthier at Fresh Kills – one of Soko’s dislikes includes James ‘the Gentleman’ P. in a shootout.  FK may not be scheduled for another Cup win this season, but that doesn’t that they don’t have something to play for (a regulation win).

BONER

Cobra Kai at Mathematics – it’s not exactly certain when Campbell’s shipping out to Boston, as that annoying Dropkick Murphy’s song put it, but I’ve been told it’s going to be first week of June.  If that’s the case, this could be a swan song of sorts. He’ll be back for Ocean City and possibly the playoffs, but this could the last game as a full-timer for 2017’s (somewhat controversial) Rookie Of The Year Winner and one of the best goalies (and singers) in the league.

Week 13

Butchers at What The Puck – not a whole lot of history between these two, but perhaps that is what makes this an interesting contest.  Plus the battle of the two goalie scrimmage heroes, Burke and Ed P, should make this one an entertaining affair.

BONUS

Fuzz at Rehabs – the hate is somewhat tempered with Rich joining forces with Cherie/Sena/Hicks in Feasterville but make no mistake, this is one of the few legit rivalries in BTSH.  Fuzz finally got over the Rehabs hump en route to the PBR Cup last summer, which they summarily lost in a Feasterville hotel room. Rich blames a bizarre amalgam of Miles, Jeff, LJ, the cleaning lady and the guy who built the hotel for the mishap.  With only a few weeks before the playoffs, he’ll have no one to blame but himself if they get their clock cleaned in this one (who am I kidding – he’ll blame Gil).

Week 14

Sky Fighters at Poutine Machine – finally Poutine is mentioned as the week’s attraction, but for the wrong reasons.  Even though players are allowed to make their own clubhouse choices, we would like to have seen Sweet Baby James, Matt and that other rookie from last year run it back for another season with SF.  Instead, we’ll have to settle for the Stein and Katie taking it to their former mates.

Week 15

Rehabs at Gouging Anklebiters – the Biters will have an opportunity against the ‘Habs to make a statement that they belong amongst the league’s elite teams.

Week 16

Cobra Kai at Gouging Anklebiters – the question on everyone’s mind is will Gill Ween show up to avenge his defeat to LJ?

BONUS

Fuzz at LBS – two of the best teams over the past three years going head-to-head for two precious points heading into the final stretch before the playoffs.

Week 17

Mathematics at Denim Demons – an old rivalry that dates back to the player swap days at Corelears Hook Park.  Rumor has it that Sammie Boi might be in town for this game.

BONUS

Fuzz at LBS – two of the best teams over the past three years going head-to-head for two precious points heading into the final stretch before the playoffs.

Week 18 – Potential Games for the Division Crown

Dark Rainbows at Mega Touch – book-ending the season are the matchups between these puttering powderpuffs.  Prediction: Julie throws the game to remain in the division. Why? Wonders the Dark Rainbows. Well, you’ll find out in 2020.

LBS at Fresh Kills – it has been a long time since LBS has worn the division crown.  Prediction: Natasha and Free Kills will show them how it’s done. (Hold on, receiving a note from Arya . . . ‘WE WON THE DIVISION LAST YEAR!’)

Instant Karma at Poutine Machine – Poutine was supposed to run away with the division and Karma was supposed to be content, but here we are.  Prediction: Poutine’s monstrous goalie is stingy again.

Cobra Kai at Butchers – the Biters will have wrapped up the division by Week 13, leaving Liam and Dana to duke it out for who remains in the division.  Prediction: the Rachels help the evil dojo save face while Mike and the Butchers shrug their way back home to the Katz division.

BONUS

Gut Rot at What The Puck – after two seasons, countless tequila shots and the upset heard round the world, Ed P shocked the world by taking his talents to South Beach Hogg’s bedroom.   Will there be a jersey retirement?  Some kind of boat race is probably more of the green team’s style, but he’ll want to win this one for sentimental reasons and to give WTP a shot at improved seeding going into the playoffs.

Rain Date

Denim Demons at Poutine Machine – cause you know these are going to cancel their dance due to some water drops.