3stars

THIRD STAR
NYC Parks Department Staff

Thanks!

Thanks!

Upon arriving to the courts late Sunday morning a deflating discovery was made in the southeast corner of the East Court. Stacks and stacks and stacks of guardrails used the previous day for the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade were piled up threatening to delay the start of the scrimmages. Reluctantly, I dragged my half-dead ass over to the spot to assess the workload, put down my backpack, opened the gate and began to move them one by one. After barely making a dent, the ladies of the Park Dept. came to the rescue by calling in reinforcements (motley crew that hangs on the benches) and had them moved in no time. Allowing the Gut Rot/Mathematics/Mega Touch/Instant Karma scrimmage to commence as scheduled. Thanks NYC Parks Department!

What is it about that corner? It seems to be our version of Waco, TX. Possessing just about anyone that ventures into it’s space to do strange things like smash bottles, disburse party favors, use it as an outhouse and sometimes a temporary storage space. Perhaps that’s why all refs avoid it like the plague (can you image the calls?).

SECOND STAR
Amber and Ryann of the REEEEHHHAAAABBBBSSSS

amber-and-ryann

The Rehabs cycle through women like Johnny Rehab cycles through women. Early last week Welch and Showtime cast their weekly wide net to this year’s Lady Rehabs inquiring about their availability, ‘Come on, baby. Just give me one more Sunday. Xoxoxo – Johnny.’ With a role of their eyes and a shrug of their shoulders Amber and Ryann were the only two that answered his text. (To be fair, Sena was in Japan.) Both played back-to-back games without a sub and delivered championship worthy performances. Ryann swiftly handed out dimes with stealth and swagger on offense. And Amber put in Sena-esque defensive work by dishing out pain, jumping up in the play and shutting down the opposition’s offensive flow. Well done!

Somebody get Amber a Snickers! Ryann's bruised leg is not a snack.

Somebody get Amber a Snickers! Ryann’s bruised leg is not a snack.

FIRST STAR
Diana and Sam, Hosts of the Awards Ceremony

pre-award-shots

Pre-award shots to calm those nerves.

These two were phenomenal on Sunday night. Delivering a crowd-pleasing performance that had something for everyone in attendance. There was comedy (Diana), drama (bumptious acceptance speeches), controversy (Longwell), tasteful nudity (Sam) and even horror (French Rich). It’s not easy to entertain you cynical bastards glorious people, whether it’s writing for the smoldering inferno that it is the BTSH website or getting up on stage in front of your peers. Being judged can be a scary thing but Diana and Sam fear no hecklers and were able to pull it off with the type of charm and charisma that have earned them the right to host next year. (Suckers!)

French Rich

French Rich

But don’t just take my word for it:

cat-and-nicole

‘Their witty banter and improvisation was thrilling. We can’t wait to come back next year!’ – Cat and Nicole.

Honorable Mentions:

Each BTSHer that threw on some goalie pads and jumped in the cage for scrimmages.  Even that Herr brother who warmed up in Timmy’s gear. (Side note: it appears that the Herr’s are this generations’ Norris 2.0.)

The bartenders and staff at Parkside Lounge that tolerated our unruly behavior and kept feeding us more liquids despite it.  (Thanks for handing out those drink tickets, Scoops!)

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