by Richiehero

It’s that time of year again! It’s actually been that time of year for a month…Poaching Season!

Much like The Purge, where everything is legal for one day, and you aren’t allowed to be mad if someone kills a loved one or even you, Poaching Season is a guilt-free zone. Poach away, you poachers!

Here are some of the people that are most likely to have poach attempts directed at them, and some of the predators people like Julie and Cat should watch out for:

1. Yetter/Bryan/Jess, Dark Rainbows: The Rainbows went from winless to beating a D1 team in the playoffs this year. They gave Cobra Kai a serious run for their money, and only a drunken Sam stopped Cat/Greenwald/Tia from winning the captain of the year vote (they actually did win it). Much of their success came from the three newbies. The Troika of captains better sleep with one eye open, or else some Gritty captain will cuckold them, and steal what’s theirs.

Teams to watch out for: Lbs. Jess has built a nice friendship with someone from the Lbs., and Yetter and Luke click on another level for the Cleveland Browns in District 5. Both would make a nice fit.

Odds of Poaching: 0%. First year players rarely pull a Hicks and leave. They have a great thing going and won’t mess it up. [Continue Reading…]

by Arya Stark

Just when you thought you could get a break from nonstop notifications from the BTSH Facebook group, another season recap comes your way.  Don’t worry – we’ll keep this one relatively short as the stars were already handed out at the end of season party, but for those of you who missed it because you either didn’t attend the end of season party (shame on you) or were having sex in the bathroom during the end of season party (good for you), here’s all you need to know.

Honorable Mentions:

ScottyK – Scotty was super pumped for this season and by the time early August had rolled around, he was tied for the league lead in goals having shattered his previous career high.  Unfortunately he then proceeded to also shatter his ACL, tearing it into pieces the way I imagine he Hulk Hogans his Blink182 shirt after every game.  Despite this horrible turn of events for everyone except Fuzz, he was still at the courts every Sunday cheering on his team (and the Rainbows because he’s actually quite romantic, don’t ask me how I know).  He never let his injury get him down and instead redirected his efforts and energy towards helping the LBS however he could, from scouting reports on playoff opponents to keeping morale high on the bench during games.  This weekend he was in attendance, crutches and all, as our beloved teammates Avery & Micayla tied the knot in a wedding for the ages.  This guy exemplifies what this league is supposed to be all about (except, I’ve been told, for the being good at hockey part) but since I’m writing this star and not JW, I’m going to consider that a plus as well. [Continue Reading…]

by Arya Stark

Folks, if you can believe it, another BTSH season that feels like it just started is now in the books.  It’s actually maybe not that difficult to believe it seeing as we just gave out the championship and held an end of season party…but yea another long offseason is set to begin, and depending on who you are you may know it as poaching season, cuffing season, winter or the rare three months when I can actually reliably make it in to work on Mondays.  It looks like there’s one last three stars of the weekend to get through and since no one else volunteered to do, it also looks like that I’m doing them.  As always, your complaints will for sure fall on deaf ears.

Third Star
Julie from Mega Touch

2018 Schlitz Cup Champs!

When Cheeky and Brady announced they were departing from Mega it seemed like the 2018 season was going to be a tough one for the 2016 Southeast Division champs.  Instead, buoyed by the acquisition of Rookie of the Year finalist Shelly, they came within one game of winning the division and moving up to D3, finishing just two points behind What The Puck.  They may have lost a tighter than you might think round of 16 match to eventual final four contender Filthier, but Mega regrouped and took down the inaugural Schlitz Cup on Sunday with a victory over the Rainbows.  After the show at the end of season party, she was inducted into the BTSH Hall of Fame by the most important man in her life, Rich Glnzr.  Truly a night to remember for Julie who, reached for comment, just wants the other captains to “stay the hell away from Shelly.” [Continue Reading…]

by Jess D and Multiple Media Team Members

We all know how much you guys like attention (Walker) and winning stuff. So we thought we’d put together a little superlatives list that encompasses the laughs, tears, and ~drama~ over this past season.

Most Likely To Cancel Their Game Due To Chance of Rain: Adam R from Denim Demons

On more than a couple occasions this season the Demons canceled their game due to insignificant Rain Fears.  Even the tiniest drop from the heavens would cause Adam to immediately cancel the game, grab his junk and scamper off to find shelter.  Perhaps we can nickname him ‘Light Sprinkle’. (Come on dude, you knew this was coming.)

Honorable Mention: Poutine Machine

Most likely to chase you into a bathroom stall to sell you a prom ticket: Diana from Ankle Biters

We love you for your commitment to BTSH social events.

Most likely to over explain something that was already clearly explained. Ha: Walker

Ironically this does not need an explanation. [Continue Reading…]