To start us off this week we had Karma @ Demons Week….13?
(All I know is this is a replay of some game that Rubens wanted to play. Actually it’s Week 13 and the way I can tell is if both teams’ stats are blank for scoring in my tracker, which I then reconfirm if Cobra Kai also was rained out the same day- since they haven’t lost a game they always have a goal scorer to boot #analyticalprocedures #AuditorProudDay2018)…Week 13 it is. On to the box scores;
Karma 4 @ Demons 3 (F/OT) Week 13 Makeup
Karma – Derek “spell the letter phonetically” ZED (6), BBC Pluto (3), Liz T (1), Matt S (5)
Goalie Win – Steve F (4-6-1)
Demons – Zach T (6), Bash BROsen David (2), Bash BROsen Josh (3)
Goalie OTL – Charlie O’D via Zog Days of Summer
Game Notes: Is it too early to start asking who Derek ZED will be poached by for 2019?
Demons 1 @ POUNDS 3
Demons – Brian Bats (2)
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR via back in the T(S)SR
Pounds – Karsten (10), Jason x2 (4)
Goalie Win – Mike “they really better not rank goalies by GAA after Hogg’s 1 shutter” Zisser (9-3-1, GAA of 1.86)
Game Notes: Los Blancos almost had as many write-ups as they did goals. I guess technically the Demons did too, since zero is close to 1.
Quick Shifts: Eli will call for time and have Pounds players say “Fuzz!” three times fast next week to settle them down; verbal warnings clearly don’t work with those guys (and girls).
Cobra Kai 3 @ Filthier 2
CK – Top Shelf Tommy (7), A Provider (2), Rachel “back to back GwG” Longley (3)
Goalie Win – Showtime from the Free Agent List (I hear he’s rostered now)
Filthier – Sunny x2 (16)
Goalie Loss – Tim K (12-3, GAA of 1.88)
Game Notes: I refereed the first 10 minutes of this game and everyone on CK had a Corsi % of 90+%, which looks great when the shots are 11-1 in your favour, but they were down 1-0 when Sunny opened the scoring off a nice one timer fed over from one of the many sneaky Mark Stone esque takeaways by OP James on the day. Our CK Beat Reporter said most of the rest of the game went the same way (must have- even Rush was shooting evidently).
Quick Shifts: Tim K must have played really well to keep this one close! Unfortunately no photos so he doesn’t make an appearance in our new segment before the Tweets of the Week.
Dank Rainbows 3 @ Math 2 (F/OT)
Dank – Dan C (2), Yetter x2 (6)
Goalie Win – Greenwald (3-8)
Math – Showtime from the Free Agent List (No really, he’s going to be rostered), Jon M (8)
Goalie Loss – Eitan via LemmeGoalie4u
Game Notes: Hope these FA goalies didn’t get a heat stroke out there on Sunday, they seemed to have had a heavy workload. Maybe league subs should be more utilized in the (Fake) Zog Days of Summer?
Quick Shifts: Lol Yetter did score 2 again. That’s a late Week 15 box scores reference.
Karma 2 @ Butchers 1
Karma – SCory (6), Brianna (6)
Goalie Win – Steve F (now 5-6-1)
Butchers – Brady (6)
Goalie Loss – Peter Parker B via got lost on the way to Joe’s Pizza at West 4th street
Game Notes: Which BTSH vet historian should I hit up to ask when the last time Karma won 2 games…in the same day? Who should I ask for clarification on both game winning goal scorers?
Quick Shifts: Lol Scory Cory and Brianna each scored a goal in the same game again. That’s another late Week 15 box scores reference.
Hookers 8 @ Riots 0
Hookers – Clark H x2 (4), Sarah (3), CJ x2 (7), Danilo (5), Tiff x2 (5)
Goalie Shutout Win – Dustin (6-5-2, 2nd Shutout, GAA of 2.00, 2nd shutout)
Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (2-10-1)
Game Notes: Unfortunately neither Sarah nor Danilo could pick up a brace like the rest of their teammates and finish this game early.
Quick Shifts: No garbage goals for Cro as he was too scared to get hit by the ball whilst in his Cro’s nest. Where would the tap-ins % stand on this list?
Gremlins 3 @ Fresh Kills 6
Gremlins – Magic Man the Mighty Tim x2 (6), Marcella (3)
Goalie Loss – Jamie (8-5-2, GAA of 2.33)
Fresh Kills – Eugene (4), Koho Soko x2 (6), Nick S (6), Nate x2 (3)
Goalie Win – Patty B (7-3-1, GAA of 2.45)
Game Notes: Add another disallowed goal via the crease to the tally.
Crisis: Partially Averted!
Mega 3 @ Biters 0
Mega – Max T (1), Alok G (6), Julie K (4)
Goalie Shutout Win – Tuckman (5-8-1, GAA of 2.86, 2nd Shutout in 2 weeks, 3rd on the year)
Goalie Loss – Dee J Bubble (4-4)
Game Notes: Julie either has a thing for Will Arnett or my box score write ups (probably the former), and continued to be a goal suck, potting an empty netter late to seal the victory.
Quick Shifts: The game scores were already posted this week, if you need assistance, you can use this link and press ctrl+f for “Week 16”! Cheers. I mean, “sooorry”…..Craig came back for his first start in months and kept his GAA standpat at 3. Now that is Carter Hutton kind of consistency. (Sooorry, no, I’m not getting you the link for that reference, be a resourceful reader!)
WTP 6 @ SkyF 0
DaPucks – Brennan (2), Dave MacC (2), Susie (4), Sam (1), Emily (3), Maurice the goal scorer via FA
Goalie Shutout Win – Hoggystyle (1-0-0, 1.000% Sieve %, 0.00 GAA, 1 Shutout, v sieve like .68 SV+%)
Goalie Loss – Eitan via iHatePlayingAgainstJustinEveryWeek
Game Notes: After a 5 save, 6-0 team win, the 2nd Star of the Week actually goes to~
Sam Michaliga Dave
Captain Emily! Steve Buffalo Zach “the” G.
BTSH Vet Susie David T. Maurice H.
Claire Brennan “The L stands for Low Event Hockey” Leong
Aisling Noah “the C stands for CPA” Carter
Karon Michelle the FA Sean F.
(Not Ball Hogg/Hoggystyle)
Cat will likely keep my 2nd star though…it’s fine, I don’t hate you, you’re just not my buddy, guy girl – actually, I just don’t say hi because I’m socially awkward (can’t you tell from these write-ups?)
Quick Shifts: The WTP emergency third stringer “Scott Foster” might have forgotten to don a toque (do we need the Will Arnett clip again?) and doesn’t remember all the goal scorers from the game (for the first time ever), but he still managed to get a penalty the first time he touched the ball as a goalie in BTSH, much like his debut as an FA out player in 2016 (stick checking on a deke then, high ball on a pass to a d-person now)…..Speaking of keeping streaks alive….Captain Emily scored the fifth goal in a shutout win, so that’s another game winning goal per Izzy’s math….and Maurice comes as advertised, a sniping goal scorer….after committing to a half season with WTP, Fleming (with one “m”!) showed up for a few shifts, finally….Ryann the Ref was quick to point out all 6 of the Vandoos and their FA crease violations made it very tough to ref.
Quick Shifts Another Hasek Clip: Thanks Sky Fighters, for giving us a reason to pull this clip. (Okay I cannot find the video but his quote is in there somewhere)
Rehabs 4 @ P Machine 2
Les Habitants – JoeyBats (8), Monique R (4), Cherie x2 (9)
Goalie Win – Eric R (6-3, GAA of 2.22)
Les Separitists – Mike M (4), Brian S (6)
Goalie Loss – RJ Fuzz Co. (4-4, GAA of 1.50)
Game Notes: Brian Sulli has a 4 game goal scoring streak and decided to sit out from his team’s Fake Zog playoff game so he can snap it in OC, instead #We’reGoingBlackTopStreaking!!!
Quick Shifts: Did JoeyBats bring free food for half time??? I picked the wrong 6pm game to ref!
What’s for Dinner: The Montreal Pool Room doesn’t have pool tables anymore, but still serves poutine around Montreal’s Red Light District (that’s like a hockey red light reference, right?)
Fuzz 6 @ Rut Rot 2
Fuzz – Mike “told you he’d be in the lead” Teets x3 (20), RNV (9), Gil x2 (6)
Goalie Win – Coach (12-1-1, GAA of 2.29)
Gut Rot – Akhil x3 2 (8 maybe make it 9?)
Goalie Loss – Eddy the Eagle (4-7, GAA sure looks like the aftermath of a Pizza line drubbing against the Laughs too)
Game Notes: Chadwick found Rut Rot funny so we let that typo go through our peer editing review prior to “print”….and I wasn’t sure where to link these in my post, but since they was a no goal controversy (not really, it didn’t go in and the goal was immaterial given the 5 or 6 goal differential at the time, so any error was de minimis #AbovePerformanceMateriality #Immaterial #AuditorProudDay2018) I’ll ask it here;
Quick Shifts: I’ll start the GoFundMe to bring back Bob W for video review!
How to Goalie
I’ve seen a lot of goalies in and out of the lineup lately, so for those who need to fill in on Sunday, here’s some quick pointers…
1. Hug your post
2. Keep your fivehole closed.
3. Stay big in there and challenge the shooter.
Tweets of the Week
Someone asked that they be featured in the Tweets this week. And that we did (naturally, we roasted them). #DoubleClick