by Arya Stark
Welcome to the 2018 Midseason Power Rankings. If you can believe it, we’re already halfway through the season. Goals, saves, sandwich debates, rain fears, video review controversy, boxed wine, unprotected sex – save for tasteful fence shoving, 2018’s really had it all. And we still haven’t even gotten to the Olympics, although to be fair Becca may never make it there either way.
The methodology for this ranking was simple: nine people filled out a poll (10 if you count Chadwick’s ranking which was Karma #1 and a 19-way tie for 2nd), and the results were aggregated. Some people chose not to rank their own teams which meant those teams received only eight votes to average; some people didn’t rank the bottom teams because they’re not as heartless as I am. One person, who’s like-to-retweet ratio on Twitter has raised some suspicion that he’s actually a Russian bot, submitted a series of three way ties, essentially sorting the teams into tiers. Some didn’t give feedback; others made comments on all teams. Some were really nice and generous; others were named Rich Glnzr. All in all, we were able to put this together and even got some bonus hot-takes thrown in for a future column. Read, enjoy, bitch. That last word was a verb, not a noun. Let’s do this.
1) LBS Inc (8-1-0)
Besides an early season loss to Karma, the LBS have been firing on all cylinders. The past two games were tight, playoff-type wins; every other one has been by three or more goals. Scotty and Karsten are both top five in scoring, their ladies have already tripled last season’s female goal total, and Sizzler’s been far more protective of his net than he is of his bedroom. The only question that matters: can they keep it up in the playoffs?
What They’re Saying:
“Karsten and Scotty are beasts, Ali’s smile could melt the coldest of hearts, and Mr PJs is good for a shootout tuck once in a while. Sizzler makes saves he should not be able to make while Agassi is real strong on the blue line (but is vulnerable to chirps).” – Will
“Have been dominant with an incredibly difficult strength of schedule.” – Probie
“Their captain is so damn sexy.” – Commonly heard on Sundays [Continue Reading…]