Week 14 Previews Part 2: Sweaty and Sexy
Instant Karma at Filthier by Richiepoothang
In this inter-conference matchup, Filthier takes on Instant Karma.
While Denis, Shaq and Tim K. spent last year drinking out of the PBR Cup, La Famiglia died, and turned into Instant Karma. There was no Karma for them however, as Filthier won their matchup last year, and then the championship.
But revenge is a dish best served cold and you get another chance this year. Look, lets be real here. Beating Cobra Kai last week (with the help of a crooked official who bet on the game and waved off two of their goals) felt nice. You probably high-fived, drank a beer and never have thought of that game again.
But look at this picture. It’s Amy from the Anklebiters scoring a shootout goal (which doesn’t count as a regulation or OT goal Justin). Look at the utter glee. That’s what sports is about people. So play hard, come back on D, cover the point and the streaking Filthier player without the ball. And make them earn all their scoring chances.
Not exactly what you guys expected to find in those bags.
There’s a rumor going around that the Dark Rainbows brought cupcakes to the courts in order to thank Camber and A. Freeman for their services – And. Didn’t. Share. With. Anyone. Shame, shame, shame. No one likes a selfish bastard.
Well the Anklebiters put together one of the best BTSH All-Star games ever and shared several heroes and beverages with all of us. We like food. And we like to be entertained.
Prediction: Bill slams back another Four Loko and twitches around the court like Peter Griffin’s friend William Shatner, confusing the eff out of the Biters, but not enough for a victory. Biters win 5-2.
BTSH’s favorite team may have had their season-defining moment last week. Oh sure, we all knew Fuzz has talent, but last week they also showed grit. If you’ve been too busy searching for Mewtwo to know the story, Fuzz found themselves down three late in their game against Filthier. However, they kept fighting, slowly winning over the hostile crowd like like Rocky when he fought Drago in Russia. And just as Balboa did, Fuzz delivered the final blow, knocking out the machine on the strength of a Richie G. shot from the point in OT.
Even Fuzz’s harshest critics were moved by the team’s heart.
Poutine Machine is no pushover, however. They’re riding a three-game winning and are only a point out of first place in the “Fourth” Division. Goalie Andrew F. is among the league leaders in GAA and is primed to stymie the Fuzz’s league-leading offense.
Prediction: We, the media, have learned that Jeff, Paul, Miles, and Sig are all out for Fuzz, leaving Alyssa and Injured Gil to do all of their scoring damage. It won’t be enough, and Poutine steals a 4-3 shootout win (goal by Hornswoggle, of course).
Corlears Hookers at Mega Touch by Isaac
The Pittsburg Putz, swollen with pride from this week’s RNC, will be out to make the Hookers great again. No, he’s not leaving. Sam and Noelle have pulled him aside and promise that he’ll be on his best behavior by bringing down the obnoxiousness from a level 10 to an 8.6. Regardless of what level he’ll be operating at, Sarah and Tiffany are more concerned with what level of moxie Brady, Shaleen and other Mega Touches will be at.
Prediction: a seesaw of a contest with Mega Touch winning 5-4.