Before we being with our traditional end-of-year thank you post, allow us to present a brief anecdote from Sunday’s awards ceremony.  For the most part, we generally put serious thought into the acknowledgments we bestow upon the BTSH community, despite the vacuousness of the prizes and categories themselves (aside from the Stacy S. Kehoe Award, of course).  However, as a direct result of choosing the nominees and winners every season, neither of us had ever actually won one of our own media awards.  This had to change.  We came in with the intention of getting booed off the stage for giving ourselves the award for Best Duo, especially following a planned self-centered acceptance speech.  Instead, we were met with a chorus of cheers and applause.  Even Craig withheld his usual heckles and slurs.  It was actual quite heartwarming.

Adriano and others have repeatedly acknowledged us for putting a lot of work into what most consider to be a thankless task.  While true that this has had to be a labor of love over the past few seasons considering the small compensation we receive (thank you to those who voted to give us anything though!), calling our job “thankless” is not entirely accurate.  Throughout our tenure as editors for the website, and especially during this past weekend, we have been showered with effusive praise and accolades.  As writers, we thrive on knowing that people are reading and enjoying our work, and the comments and good tidings have kept us motivated throughout the years.

However, we could not have done this without the help and contributions of several dedicated staffers.  Jesse Kalb has provided his thoughts on the Hockey Night in Tompkins matchups for two seasons, and they have become a highlight of the weekly previews.  Sven Larsen saved us from the unenviable task of covering the MacNeil Division with his weekly submissions.  Abby “Tayne” Meisterman’s work may not have been enjoyed by everyone (T-Beau, Hockey Rich), but it was always entertaining.  Monica Russo decided to use the space we gave her to write about herself and Fitlhy Gorgeous, instead of the Donohue Division, as she was assigned…but at least, we didn’t have to write about Cobra Kai.  Rich Glanzer surprised us all with coherent, well-researched musings and relatively accurate predictions.  Plus, his Know Your Neighbor contributions were actually quite funny.  Ben Chadwick wrote far too much far too often, no matter what he called himself.  Last and certainly least, Shaun deLacy was the media intern, and he should not be acknowledged.

In addition, we’d also like to thank the past two league commissioners.  Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta supported us throughout the creative process, and Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg allowed us to take control of btsh.org in the first place.

As we look back at our years of service, we leave with no regrets and are excited to hand the reigns to someone else (hopefully).  It has been a pleasure using the website as a platform to get to know most of the league so well, but it will also be nice to have more free time to spend with our newfound friends.

Your humble Editors Emeriti,
Eli Kazin & Derek Tagliarino

On Sunday evening, the media had the distinct honor and pleasure to present their fifth annual Media Awards to some of BTSH’s outstanding players. The winners are listed below:

BTSH Regular Season Scoring Champion
Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)

Best Goals Against Average
Dutin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)

Biggest Face
Corey “Chongo” Winters (What The Puck)

Best Duo
Derek Tagliarino & Eli Kazin (Mathematics)

Most Underrated Female
Jenna Cruff (Happy Little Elves)

Most Underrated Male
Tom (Gut Rot)

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award For Toughness & Grace
Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation
Luisa Mirarchi (Dark Rainbows)

The Fifth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
Patrick “Sven” Larsen (Poutine Machine)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Female)
Courtney (Unicorns)

The Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award (Male)
Mike Haas (Poutine Machine)

All-Media Teams

In addition to the awards, as per tradition, here are the year-end BTSH All-Star teams, as selected by the media:

1st Team All-BTSH:
G: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)
D: Tiffany Hagge (Corlears Hookers)
D: Ariel Imas (Fresh Kills)
F: Noelle “Slapshot” Safar (Corlears Hookers)
F: Denis Miciletto (La Famiglia)
F: Ryan Nakahara (Happy Little Elves)

Olson finished the regular season with the league’s top goals against average, in addition to his three shutouts during the regular season.  Hagge, who had six goals in the regular season and one in the playoffs, replaces Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli, who had made three straight appearance on the blue line.  Imas anchored the defense for league champion Fresh Kills.  Safar joins her teammates, as she tied (with Hagge) for the female lead in goals scored.  Miciletto led all of BTSH with 21 goals, and Nakahara led BTSH in playoff goals (with five).

2nd Team All-BTSH:
G: Tim Brown (Poutine Machine)
D: Stacy S. Kehoe (Rehabs)
D: Kevin MacDonald (Poutine Machine)
F: Courtney (Unicorns)
F: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (Mega Touch)
F: “Gentleman” James Pereira (Filthy Gorgeous)

Brown finished second in the league with a GAA of 1.13 and had five shutouts.  Kehoe exhibited toughness and grace throughout the season, earning her the aptly named Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness & Grace.  MacDonald’s presence on defense helped Brown become a top goaltender and lifted Poutine Machine to the MacNeil Division title.  Courtney was among the female league leaders in goals scored with four and kept noted instigator Joe Polowczuk out of trouble.  Muscles finished second in the league with 18 goals, while Pereira returned from a serious injury to score 15, despite missing several weeks of action.

All Rookie Line:
G: Hilary Meyer (Rehabs)
D: Adela Ibric (Happy Little Elves)
D: Gilligan2 (Gut Rot)
F: Lilly Preston (Mathematics)
F: Sarab Lalri (Cobra Kai)
F: Lawrence Goldstein (LBS, Inc.)

Meyer had the third best GAA in BTSH with 1.56 and was a bright spot for the rebuilding Rehabs.  Ibric is a heel.  Gilligan2 joined his brother, Gilligan1, on Gut Rot’s blue line and played well, despite the team’s struggles.  Preston scored four goals during the regular season and another in the playoffs.  Lalri led all rookies in scoring with 12 goals, and Goldstein had 10 goals in the regular season and playoffs.

“Hollywood” Jeff Lesser Would Be Proud

TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK – Fresh Kills defenseman Kevin “The Planet” Foster has always been known and feared for his long, booming shots from the point.  Although the sage veteran has been relatively quiet throughout regular and postseason, he made a huge impact in Sunday’s championship game.  Foster’s blast from the blue line late in the second half broke a 1-1 stalemate and clinched his second BTSH championship with Fresh Kills.

Foster’s captain Dave Sokolyansky was effusive in his praise for the stalwart defender.  Soko noted, “This couldn’t have happened to a nicer, more sensitive guy.  As much as I wanted to win, I’m relieved that Kevin scored the game-winner instead of someone like my brother [Mike Sokolyanksy], who’s been a real source of irritation and consternation this season.”  Foster’s goal came as a bit of surprise, as he had scored just one goal during the 2011 season and two in 2010.

Fresh Kills’ other goal also came from the defense.  Patrick Moore, who only had two goals in 2011 himself, tied the game at one midway through the first half.  Moore’s goal was set up by the “Where am I?” line, consisting of Nick Hobbs and Scott Lee.  Lee, who was nearly late for the final after losing track of time while exploring Union Square, started the play with a battle along the dugout behind the net.  He chipped a pass to Hobbs, who found Moore wide open in the slot.

Despite Foster and Moore’s heroics, Fresh Kills still voted goaltender Patrick Barch as the team’s playoff MVP.  Barch allowed just five goals through four playoff games and made numerous clutch saves in the second half of the final to preserve the 1-1 tie.  Defender Ariel Imas commented, “It’s comforting knowing that Patrick is behind me.  I try to block as much as I can, but I know that if a shot gets through, Patrick will always come up with the big save.”  Barch finished fourth in BTSH with a 1.60 GAA during the regular season.

What The Puck’s goal also came from an unexpected source, as rookie forward Garrett Poston opened the scoring five and a half minutes into the game.  Poston, an overlooked part of captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s offseason acquisitions, rifled a wrist shot past Barch after receiving a cross-court pass from “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (a more heralded acquisition), who was wearing his lucky Bowdoin sweatpants for the game.

What The Puck was playing in its second championship in the past three seasons, as the team also lost in 2009 to the Sky Fighters.  Zimmer, who has been the team’s captain since its inception in 2001, was disappointed with the outcome of the game.  However, his mood brightened when veteran Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth, Amy Farley, and the rest of What The Puck presented their sheepish leader with a scrapbook filled with photos and What The Puck memories.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
#2 Fresh Kills 2, #7 What The Puck 1

First Half:
What The Puck – 5:30, Garrett Poston (1) (“The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse)
Fresh Kills – 12:00, Patrick Moore (1) (Nick Hobbs, Scott Lee)

Second Half:
Fresh Kills – 21:54, Kevin “The Planet” Foster (1) (Mike Sokolyansky, Dave Sokolyansky)

#7 What The Puck (12-5-1-2) at #2 Fresh Kills (14-4-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-8-1
2011 Result: Week 1 – Fresh Kills 3, What The Puck 2 (OT-SO); Week 8 – Fresh Kills 3, What The Puck 0
Game Notes: At the beginning of the 2011 season, picking What The Puck to reach the championship game was a no-brainer.  Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer had just concluded an off-season shopping spree, pillaging the Rehabs of goaltender Anthony Romeo and forwards Brock Bosacker, Alex Doucette, and “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse.  Zimmer’s grand plan to ambush BTSH with his all-star squad was working to perfection through the spring, as What The Puck jumped out to an 8-1-0-1 record through ten games.  However, once the calendar turned to summer, injuries and lackluster attendance began to deplete Zimmer’s charges, and his Orange Juggernaut stumbled to a 1-4-1-1 finish, scoring an uncharacteristically low 11 goals in this seven game stretch.  Once the playoffs began, however, What The Puck returned to the form everyone expected to see, and the team dispatched the Sky Fighters, Denim Demons, and Butchers, allowing just one goal in each game.  What The Puck’s opponent in the championship game, Fresh Kills, is a familiar foe.  The two teams are meeting in the postseason for the fourth time since 2006, and as members of the Hackett Division, they faced off twice this season.  Captain David Sokolyansky, armed with a much smaller budget than Zimmer’s, took an alternate route to building his squad, preferring to add undervalued free agents and players other teams viewed as flawed.  This haul included Scott Lee, who was cast aside by the Mathematics because of his inability to finish.  Sokolyansky’s philosophy paid off, as Fresh Kills performed consistently throughout the season and claimed the Hackett Division crown on the penultimate weekend of the regular season.  However, all of this hard work was almost undone in the opening round of the playoffs, when Fresh Kills was extended to a shootout before putting away Mega Touch.  The next two rounds proceeded more like the regular season, as Sokolyansky’s bunch used stifling defense and opportunistic offense to eliminate the Dark Rainbows and defending champion Happy Little Elves.  Entering the finals, Fresh Kills now seems to have all signs pointing in its favor, as Sokolyanksy and his crew are the higher seed and swept What The Puck in the season series.  However, Zimmer is known for pulling rabbits out of hats throughout his illustrious BTSH tenure and may have one more trick up his sleeve.

Keys To The Game For What The Puck:
1. In last week’s semifinal against the pesky Butchers, Hannah Stark delivered in the clutch and scored the game-winning goal with 1:30 remaining in regulation.  What The Puck will once again turn to her to rise to the challenge in this pressure-filled matchup.
2. Goaltender Anthony Romeo continued his postseason success in last week’s semifinal, as he allowed just one goal for the third consecutive week.  This has come after a regular season rife with attendance issues and mediocrity for the centerpiece of What The Puck’s offseason acquisitions.  However, Zimmer is not surprised, as his master plan all along was to rest his top goalie from the wear and tear of the Indian summer, allowing Romeo to be fresh and healthy for the playoffs.
3. Grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald has had a bit of a chip on his shoulder after Zimmer cut him just prior to the playoffs in order to clear roster space for Brock Bosacker.  However, after Bosacker’s ship lost communication somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle, Zimmer resigned MacDonald one day after his release.  MacDonald noted that he understood Zimmer’s initial decision, but he is now determined to prove he belongs on the playoff squad.  He had one goal in last week’s semifinal.
Keys To The Game For Fresh Kills:
1. Without the presence of last season’s leading scorer, Justin “The Boss” Ross, there has been a team-wide effort to fill his offensive void.  As a result, in Fresh Kills’ three playoff games, nine different players have combined for the team’s 12 goals.    Sokolyansky boasts that his team is particularly dangerous, because any line can score at any time.
2. After finishing the regular season with the fourth best GAA among qualifying goalies in BTSH, Patrick Barch has been a steady force between the pipes in the playoffs.  He has allowed just four goals in Fresh Kills’ three games, including a shutout of the Dark Rainbows.  In addition, Barch seems to have a cosmic connection with his favorite NFL team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, whose results have mirrored those of Fresh Kills since the start of the playoffs.  In other words, if Fresh Kills wins on Sunday, look for the Steelers to upset the Patriots.
3. As a special treat to motivate his team, Sokolyanksy had intended to bring back former Fresh Kills captain “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser to give a rousing pre-game pep talk.  However, in finalizing the details, Dave’s brother Mike repeatedly called Lesser by his given name, rather than “Hollywood,” as Lesser prefers.  These gaffes offended Lesser so much that he will no longer be attending.  Instead, the team will receive a pre-game pep talk via satellite from former Notre Dame head coach, Lou Holtz.
Rich Glanzer’s Thoughts: If this game was played from June to August, Fresh Kills would be five goal favorites. But WTP has come from their now-annual summer swoon to the championship game. Fresh Kills has had one goal all year: not just to make this game, but to win it. Talent-wise, What The Puck has the better men, and FK has the better women. Goalies are pretty much equal. I say this game comes down to who wants it more, and I gotta believe Fresh Kills does. I see a tight defensive game where Fresh Kills grabs a 2-0 lead, WTP scores early in the 2nd half, and FK adds one more late. 3-1 Fresh Kills.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  It’s worth noting that my history of correctly picking the championship game is extremely suspect, but the Corlears Hookers are not in it this year.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  Dave Sokolyansky seems to think his team plays better when I pick against them.  As such, if Fresh Kills wins, it’s because my pick helped them out.  If WTP wins, I knew it all along.
Watchability: 5 Mr. Skuses.  This game is so big they’ll be listening to a live feed all the way to Cobourg, Ontario.