Danilo Is A Teeny Little Super Guy

asdfsdfa

Sweet hat, Danilo.


Rehabs 2, Denim Demons 1 (OT-SO)

Rehabs: Ramy Odeh (6)
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen (6)
Goalie Win: $h0wT!m3 (3)
Shootout: Rehabs win 1-0. Successful attempt by Eric Ruben.

What The Puck 2, Gut Rot 1 (OT)
What The Puck: Eric Higger (2), Dave MacCallum (3)
Gut Rot: Gilligan (1)
Goalie Win: Jordan Giraud (2)
Game Notes: Continuing his unbelievable streak, Mike Dudolevitch won one faceoff for WTP*.

*Note, this stat has not been verified.

Filthier 6, Instant Karma 3
Filthier: Sunny Mehra 2 (3), Shafiq Perry 2 (3), Suvin Malik (2), Seth (1)
Instant Karma: Ben Chadwick (2), Bill Monahan (2), Cory Vernoia (6)
Goalie Win: Tim Kayiatos (3)

Mega Touch 3, Dark Rainbows 1
Mega Touch: Brady Caldwell (2), Alex Eben Meyer (1), Max (1)
Dark Rainbows: Mike Roberts (1)
Goalie Win: Mike Tuckman (2)

Mathematics 4, Happy Little Elves 3
Mathematics: Sam Norris 2 (4), Joey Batista (3), Eli Kazin (3)
Happy Little Elves: Mike “Gil’s Son” Valdes 2 (4), Gil “Gil’s Son’s Dad” Valdes (4)
Goalie Win: David Liang (4)

Gremlins 6, Tompkins Square Riots 1
Gremlins: Erich Graham 2 (2), Rod Sherwood 2 (5), Brian Hicks (6), Maire Lane (3)
Tompkins Square Riots: Will (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (4)

Butchers 5, Poutine Machine 1
Butchers: Arthur Revechkis 2 (6), Dana Kravis (1), Brett (1), Heffe (1)
Poutine Machine: Steve Berkowitz (1)
Goalie Win: David Liang (via Math)

Fresh Kills 4, Cobra Kai 1
Fresh Kills: Andrew 3 (3), Patrick Moore (1)
Cobra Kai: Beth (1)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch (4)

LBS, Inc. 4, Gouging Anklebiters 1
LBS, Inc: Karsten Pichon 3 (4), Jake Chaplin (4)
Gouging Anklebiters: Matt Workman (1)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown (3)

Corlears Hookers 5, Sky Fighters 1
Corlears Hookers: Danilo Biagioni 4 (4), Brian Cronauer (3)
Sky Fighers: Roman Teytelbaum (3)
Goalie Win: Amriel Kissner (via free agency)

Please submit any corrections to derek@btsh.org
What The Puck at Gut Rot
A perfect matchup to start the day at Tompkins Square. Two teams comprised of future BTSH Hall of Famers. Oops, sorry, I thought I was just writing about the Math v Elves game.

WTP & Gut Rot sounds like the perfect alcoholic brunch order, which is exactly where both these teams will be coming from prior to the game. Given that WTP players are bigger on average, due to their size, they’ll be less drunk and therefore have the advantage.
WTP 3-1

Rehabs at Denim Demons
There’s no bigger, underrated matchup in BTSH history than the long-awaited Rehabs v Demons battle of the court. Technically, there cannot be a more underrated matchup because, by definition, there must be a rating of some sort to be “underrated”.  So, I guess more technically, this is BTSH’s first-ever recorded unrated game!!!
The first half will be a good one—back and forth ending in a 2-1 Demon lead—Goals by Lee Reiners and Kamen for the Demons, Jeff for the Habs. The gates of hell will open up the second half, leading to several Demon goals and one, late in the game goal, by Black Rob
Demons 5-2

Filthier at Instant Karma
Both Filthier and Karma are turning into powerhouse teams. The reason why I say “turning into” is because 1) Filthier should be the best team in the league—and they haven’t been showing up like it lately, and 2) Karma was just supposed to be a fun team to drink with, and now I’m scared Math may lose to them…
Anyways, I hope they both lose—and I’ll make it happen with nonstop ejections…
My prediction: neither team wins

Happy Little Elves at Mathematics
It’s Rich’s birthday game and the only gift Math is giving is: we won’t mercy rule you, Rich. It’s been a long season so far for the Fully Defeated Deeply Depressed Self-Loathing & Grumpy Soon-To-Lash-Out Elves. Rich, figured you’d want to write this section, but Math 7-3. Rich gets a birthday goal, but it gets taken back for a high-stick. Math 7, Elves 2.

Gremlins at Tompkins Square Riots
If it wasn’t for the Fully Defeated Deeply Depressed Self-Loathing & Grumpy Soon-To-Lash-Out Elves v. Math game this week, this would surely be the game of the week. Two equal teams with some of the most fun folks in the league. I’m guessing some fast-paced breakouts through the neutral zone followed by some big goals, as both teams seesaw back and forth. Jamie is going to have a terrible game in net, but the Grems will still pull through in the last 3 minutes.
Gremlins 4, Riots 3

Butchers at Poutine Machine
They say in BTSH that any team can beat any other team on a given week. What “they” usually leaves out is that someone needs to add, “any team can beat any other team on a given week [depending on who shows up]”.
The problem with this is that the “someone” always forgets to specify is, “any team can beat any other team on a given week depending on who shows up [especially if it’s Jeff Laniado on Butchers or Gabe on the Kills].”
Despite Poutine having a pretty solid defense and modest offensive power, it’s going to be hard to mark Jeff and subsequently leave Arnold and Arthur in the clear.
Butchers 4-1

Fresh Kills at Cobra Kai
Cobrai Kai is a stealthy team to play against. They’ve got one capri-wearing SOB who drops goals left and right, some other dude with a hat I’ve met once and is really good, but you wish you could just stick-check and run away with the ball, and a captain who hasn’t been seen all season. Who are these guys, where did they come from, why are they so good?!
History, on the other hand, tells Fresh Kills story. Actually, the history books of Fresh Kills is just a leaflet featuring two characters. The first character’s story is the Story of Job, which Sokos just crossed out “Job” and wrote “Rich’s BTSH Season in 2015”, followed by the moral of the story, “He will suffer—Don’t be Rich.”
The second is the Story of Gabriel, which, unfortunately was all crossed out too, with Sokos making replacements of “If Sokos gives a man a stick, he will probably play on the Elves. If Sokos teaches a man how to use a stick, he will play on the Fresh Kills and win!!!”
This game will go into overtime, but FK will pull through if P. Moore and Gabriel are there.
FK 3-2 OT