Your $h0wT!m3 Division Champions!

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We’ll ignore the fact that they lost.


Filthy Gorgeous 5, Dark Rainbows 1

Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra 4 (11), J.J. Anderson (3)
Dark Rainbows: Rem Garavito (3)
Goalie Win: $h0wT!m3 (4)

Butchers 1, Mathematics 0
Butchers: Mike Teytelbaum (1)
Shutout: Tim Burke (8)

Mega Touch 4, Tompkins square Riots 2
Mega Touch: Braden Caldwell (2), Julie Katz (5), Joe Lops (4), Nick (via free agency)
Tompkins Square Riots: Suz (3), Peck Yang (1)
Goalie Win: Mike Tuckman (4)

Sky Fighters 4, Cobra Kai 2
Sky Fighters: Luke Wang 2 (7), Caroline (1), Greg Infanti (3)
Cobra Kai: Peter Gallina (11), J.J. Murphy (2)
Goalie Win: James Stein (7)

Poutine Machine 4, Gremlins 3 (OT)
Poutine Machine: Steve Berkowitz (4), Marcus Bonnee (1),
Gremlins: Bryan Kress 2 (2), Derek Pieper (1)
Goalie Win: Rob Nitschke (3)

Fresh Kills 4, Denim Demons 2
Fresh Kills: Gabe Chenard 2 (23), Ariel Imas (12), Patrick Moore (3)
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen (16), Sara Klein (2)
Goalie Win: Kevin Au (1, or via Sky Fighters, depending whom you ask)

Corlears Hookers 3, LBS, Inc. 2
Corlears Hookers: C.J. Anderson 2 (10), Sarah Newnam (2)
LBS, Inc.: Tommy Capatosta (11), Luke Sellick (8)
Goalie Win: Dustin Olson (9)

What The Puck 7, Happy Little Elves 6
What The Puck: #coreywinters 3 (5), Justin Michaliga 2 (7), Emily Moore (1), Hanif Perry (3)
Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes 2 (18), Melissa Budnick (1), Ben Chadwick (1), Shaun deLacy (1), Rob Walsh (6)
Goalie Win: Jordan (3)

Rehabs 4, Gut Rot 2
Rehabs: Rob B. (9), Sean McClain (2), Eric Ruben (7), Bryan Welch (3)
Gut Rot: Jeff Hendricks (2), Mike Finnegan (2)
Goalie Win: Scott Heese (5)

Gouging Anklebiters 1, La Famiglia 0
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (11)
Shutout: Craig LaCombe (11)

Please submit any corrections to derek@btsh.org
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Elite.


Following in the success of former BTSH.org features such as Know Your Neighbor, the ever popular PlayHer Spotlight, and “20 Questions With Mike Dudelovitch,” we present to you…another 20 Questions. This week, we profile Mathematics all-star, Roxanne Gaudiel.

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We exited last Sunday just as we entered it, with one playoff seed set and 19 others up for grabs.  With one week left, the playoff picture is still quite murky, although some things are beginning to clear up.  Of course, chaos can still reign. There could be a five-way tie for the #2 seed. Or potentially three four-way ties for various seeds.  But here are some of the key items to be aware of as we approach what should be a crazy six hours on Sunday…

Trying to figure out all of the playoff seed possibilities has us feeling like this right now. Hopefully things get clearer as Sunday goes along.

Trying to figure out all of the playoff seed possibilities has us feeling like this right now. Hopefully things get clearer as Sunday progresses.


Gremlins at Poutine Machine
Poutine Machine pulled into a tie with the Gremlins for fourth in the Glanzer Division with a 1-0 win on Sunday, setting this up as a winner-take-all battle to avoid relegation to the Greene Division next season. Of course, the loser of this game could go on a playoff run and win the championship, which would ironically send the winner of this game to the Greene Division. Both teams have already secured a place in the Opening Round playoff games on October 5, but sadly, an elusive third matchup in as many weeks seems unlikely.

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As we get to the end of the regular season and matches start to take on heavy playoff implications, the games get more important.  As a result, we can conclude that every star awarded outside of this week – and the the weeks following – was effectively meaningless.  I know we say it every week, but now that we’re in crunch time, THESE three four people are the ones who actually matter.  Please disregard everything else you’ve ever read on this blog up until this point.

Everyone else who took some self-worth from previous star awards, please email derek@btsh.org to return any unwarranted self-esteem boosts accrued up to this point.

The biggest gripe we get is that we write about the Elves too much. Now that these actually start to matter, this photo will be the last you see of them in this column. The faster you scroll down, the sooner it will be over.

*** – Katie London (Cobra Kai)

Cobra Kai was kind enough to lend Katie to the Rehabs for their key divisional matchup against Mathematics. She returned the favor of getting to play almost the entire game with hardly any subs by scoring her first career BTSH goal. Katie: please join the Rehabs. You can have Hector’s spot. KAT!€ has a nice ring to it.  (Before you ask, there are no tampering rules in BTSH, so take that Greg.)

** Sarah Moore & Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (Anklebiters)

The Biters got a key win this week against Filthy Gorgeous, winning in dramatic fashion by tying the game in the last minute of regulation and then scoring in overtime. Caroline and Sarah both contributed key goals in a game when the Biters were short-staffed and behind the eight ball. In crunch time, they both delivered, so they get the second star together.


* Aaron Friedman (Dark Rainbows)

It’s finally Aaron Friedman’s place. Big #26 had the game winning goal, a wicked snipe to the top shelf, in the Rainbows’ 1-0 win over Mega Touch. At a time when the Rainbows desperately need to find their scoring touch, his individual effort might be the spark plug that gets them going right as they head into the playoffs. And since this week’s stars are the most meaningful to date, that means that Aaron is currently the King of BTSH. Eminem alludes to this development in his song “Monster” with the lyrics “it’s payback, Aaron Friedman / Falling way back in the draft, turn nothing into something, still can / Make that.” Congrats, buddy. You deserve it.

A/N: The below comes courtesy of our very own Joe Polowczuk. He’s the one with the crabs, not me. Though I’ll probably have crabs on Sunday, and you should too.


For those of you wondering about that lingering smell of seafood from the back of Ace Bar the previous two seasons one late August evening, it was the annual Gouging Anklebiters crab feast.  This year, we’re taking the event league-wide after the games (come rain or shine). There will be 5 bushels of large Maryland blue crabs for your eating delight this Sunday, courtesy of BTSH and the effort of your league commish and Joe P., our league’s Old Bay Sunday Funday connoisseur. 

What do you need to bring? An appetite and a few bucks to give as gratuity for the hardworking crew at Ace that will cleanup this huge mess when we are done. If you’ve never eaten these little crustaceans before, don’t ask Suz to help you crack them open, she takes an hour to get through one.  Joe P. will provide a quick pre-feast seminar for anyone looking to maximize their piles of meat in return for a bottle of high life. 

We hope you can make it out , watch some football, and try to out eat anyone from Maryland. Please note this feast is for BTSH players only! Anyone bringing in freeloaders will be humiliated and put on the over night cleanup crew.