Filthier Wins Again

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Ironically, Denis still hasn’t scored yet this season…but at least, I got to make a wrestling reference!


Butchers 6, Dark Rainbows 2
Butchers: Arthur Revechkis 2 (2), Matt Shore 2 (3), Jeff Laniando (3), Arnold Sanchez (1)
Dark Rainbows: Rem Garavito (1), Kevin (1)
Goalie Win: Mike Rosen (2)

Gut Rot 3, Poutine Machine 0
Gut Rot: Jerry Chavez (2), Scott Kollar (1), Scott Pietrzak (1)
Shutout: Eric Ramirez (1)

LBS, Inc. 3, Corlears Hookers 1
LBS, Inc.: Jake Chaplin 2 (3), Dustin Shutes(1)
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel (1)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown (1)

Filthier 3, Sky Fighters 1
Filthier: Ben Bloom (1), Jessica Liu (1), James Pereira (1)
Sky Fighters: Greg Infanti (1)
Goalie Win: Tim Kayiatos (2)

Denim Demons 3, Fresh Kills 2 (OT)
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen 2 (2), Zach Fein (1)
Fresh Kills: Gabe Chenard (3), Dave Sokolyanksy (1)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (1)

Mathematics 5, Mega Touch 0
Mathematics: Joey Batista (2), Brad Schmidt (1), Cherie Stewart (1), James Stewart (2), Derek Tagliarino (1)
Shutout: David Liang (2)

Gouging Anklebiters 2, Happy Little Elves 1 (OT-SO)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (1)
Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (via Gremlins)
Shootout: Biters win 1-0. Successful attempt by Sarah Moore.

Rehabs 4, Instant Karma 2
Rehabs: Ramy Odeh 2 (2), Rob B. (1), $h0wT!m3 (1)
Instant Karma: Alfred Liu (1), Eric (1)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (via Demons)

Cobra Kai 3, What The Puck 2
Cobra Kai: Tom 2 (2), Deb Conway (1)
What The Puck: Justin Michaliga (1), Charlie (1)
Goalie Win: Nicholas Blair (1)

Gremlins 4, Tompkins Square Riots 3 (OT-SO)
Gremlins: Brian Hicks (3), Maire Lane (2), Rod Sherwood (1)
Tompkins Square Riots: Drew Loken (2), Jen (1), Max (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (2)
Shootout: Gremlins win 1-0 (in nine rounds). Successful attempt by Maire Lane.

Please submit all corrections to derek@btsh.org

Many teams have had to garner subway ad endorsements to make Sunday summer fun 2015 at Tompkins possible, Hseih reports.  

A note to the reader: this is what I remember from these interviews, word for word, if, I had actually interviewed them, which I cannot remember.  –Hsieh

I caught up with Ryan from the Gremlins to hear his heart-wrenching story.

“The Gremlins love BTSH, and we always held this league in a special place in our hearts,” Ryan started.  “However, after hearing the news of what was coming down the pipe in reffing fees, I am in shock.  I knew it meant one thing—I didn’t have the money, none of us did—I would have to sell my 1970 AMC Gremlin, our team’s mascot and clown car, which we have so many great memories of all 15 of us getting in and driving to Tompkins Square hoping we wouldn’t get rear-ended.  Rodney has to part with his 1971 Ford Pinto now, too.  It’s a sad day to be a Gremlin…” (Ryan breaks into tears) 
“And now! I just got word that our goalie, Jamie—had to sell all of his clothes for pennies on the dollar, in order to play this year because he has to pay the increase for all five teams he plays on.  What is he going to do—he only owns a pair of mesh shorts and sunglasses now!  This still wasn’t enough money, so we had to get an endorsement and change our name.  We are legally now the NanoBraces… we are so broke… what are we, the MTA?!  The horror—the horror…”(Ryan continues to cry, falling onto his knees)

Endorsements

I wasn’t sure if I could do another interview, after hearing what the Gremlins were going through.  Luckily, the Gremlins NanoBraces invited me out for their last clown car to Tompkins ride of their careers.  

It was a sad ride, but soon we were in Alphabet City. Things went from sad to worse.  Off in the distance, we recognized two folks.  I know fundraising is hard, but it appeared two BTSHers sprung up something harder. Anklebiter Craig “Touch My Dinkus” LaCombe and Pounder Tommy C-Lami were enjoying their teams fundraising methods so much, it appeared they quit their jobs to permanently touch their toes for people near Tompkins.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gVhZT1tHzg

John Walker puked, Rodney pulled out a dollar, we drove away as fast as possible.

We got back to Tompkins to catch up with the man presumably so downtrodden, we could barely do the interview…

“Dan Hopper! Where are you living now? I know that Williamsburg rent just keeps going up and up, the Oasis falafel place raised their rates from $3 a pita to $4.50, $5 beer and shot specials are getting harder to find by the minute in the Burg.  How are you handling this?”

“Why do you look so glum, Hsieh—I just put down on an apartment in Tribeca—SHIT! I never thought I could say I was a rich man, but thanks to BTSH and those few captains, I’ve finally made it!  Before, I thought I’d just be a lowly renter being a pioneer my whole life gentrifying neighborhoods before rich trust funders outgentrified me, only then to be kicked out by them!  Now, I already got a superbowl ad spot for 30 seconds—and it’s just a picture of my face!  Hell, I’ve got so much money from reffing the first week, I was going to see Dr. Zizmor, then realized, fuck—I can just buy the man and make him my personal doctor!  Life’s good, damn good.” And then a car horn went off, Hopper gave me the finger. 

“Well lame-o, that’s my ride!” and wandered to his limo that just showed up.

Rich Ref Dan

When I saw my high school baseball coach, Mr. Ward at a wedding 20 years after I graduated high school, I brought up my baseball career and Mr. Ward politely said, “You’re a good person Richie.”  With that said, here are some other good people, who Mr. Ward thinks suck at hockey. At least last Sunday. 

Career stats: GP 7 AB 4 H- 0 K- 4 BB- 3 RBI- 1 OBP- 429  OK, unfortunately I played in a time where a walk wasn't as good as a hit. But a .429 OBP would have made me millions today. Born in the wrong decade.

Career stats:
GP 7
AB 4
H- 0
K- 4
BB- 3
RBI- 1
OBP- 429
Well Mr. Ward, I know you think I sucked but a .429 OBP would have made me millions in today’s game.

 

[Continue Reading…]

Welcome back. 10 teams went home with heroes, 10 teams went home with losers. But out of those 10 teams that came out as winners, who were their biggest stars. Click the read more to find out!
Rif's green face surely means the Elves and Cobra Kai were victorious, right?

Rif’s green face surely means the Elves and Cobra Kai were victorious, right?

[Continue Reading…]

The Caps Are In The Playoffs!!!

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This is barely BTSH-related. #coreywinters


Filthy Gorgeous 1, Denim Demons 0
Filthy Gorgeous: Jenna Cruff (1)
Shutout: Tim Kayiatos (1)

What The Puck 5, Dark Rainbows 1
What The Puck: Noah Carter (1), Eric Higger (1), Dave MacCallum (1), Paul Picinich (1), Ryan (1)
Dark Rainbows: David Bernstein (1)
Goalie Win: Peter Clark (1)
Game Notes: New WTPer Mike Dudolevitch recorded one faceoff win in the victory.

Fresh Kills 2, Corlears Hookers 0
Fresh Kills: Gabe Chenard 2 (2)
Shutout: Patrick Barch (1)

Mathematics 5, Gouging Anklebiters 4 (OT-SO)
Mathematics: Joey Batista (1), Eli Kazin (1), Sam Norris (1), James Stewart (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Sarah Moore 2 (2), Ben Probert 2 (2)
Goalie Win: David Liang (1)
Shootout: Math wins 1-0. Cherie Stewart with the successful attempt.

Instant Karma 6, Happy Little Elves 2
Instant Karma: Ryann Geldner 3 (3), Cory Vernoia 2 (2), Bill Monahan (1)
Happy Little Elves: Michael “Gil’s Son” Valdes 2 (2)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (via Gremlins)

Sky Fighters 3, LBS, Inc. 1
Sky Fighters: Stephanie Cooper (1), Dan Hopper (1), Roman Teytelbaum (1)
LBS, Inc.: Jake Chaplin (1)
Goalie Win: James Stein (1)

Rehabs 3, Poutine Machine 1
Rehabs: Blake 2 (2), Danielle Haselton (via Instant Karma)
Poutine Machine: Robert Valenza (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (via Gremlins)

Tompkins Square Riots 4, Mega Touch 2
Tompkins Square Riots: Jenn A. (1), Joe Fiore (1), Pierre-Alexandre Labelle (1), Drew Loken (1)
Mega Touch: Joe Lops 2 (2)
Goalie Win: Dave Gil de Rubio (1)

Gremlins 4, Gut Rot 1
Gremlins: Brian Hicks 2 (2), Maire Lane (1), Ryan Mills (1)
Gut Rot: Jerry Chavez (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe (1)

Butchers 4, Cobra Kai 2
Butchers: Jeff Laniando 2 (2), Georgine Paulin (1), Matt Shore (1)
Cobra Kai: Sebastian Asaro (1), Peter Gallina (1)
Goalie Win: Mike Rosen (1)

Please submit any corrections to derek@btsh.org