BTSH Logobtsh.org
← Back to Media

Will there be Previews?!?!?

Terrible news from the north my friends. We all know what a great year Sam Norris is having on writing for the website. However, his agent called me and said since Sam is a rookie, he’s on a strict word count. So for the next two weeks, he will not be writing previews. Does that mean we will go preview-less?

Sam will not write about you troglodytes the next two weeks.

Sam will not write about you troglodytes the next two weeks.


Of course not! I’m gonna write the website this week. But I’m gonna need a little help, from a couple a people I trust.
The Authority
Game of the Week

So while it would be great if Abby still wrote for us so she could talk about how the Gremlins would beat the Anklebiters because Gremlins aren’t real and don’t have Ankles, you are stuck with me and we are going to be focusing on hockey. GOTW is the championship rematch of FK at the Hookers.

Keys to the Game

Sven has found a better paying job since leaving BTSH Media.

Sven has found a better paying job since leaving BTSH Media.

Just google Hookers, Fresh Kills BTSH playoffs. I’m sure Sven did a good job with one of those previews.

Rich’s Pick: 5-1 FK. I just don’t see the Hooks showing. But instead of just assuming the Hookers wouldn’t show I texted Noelle to find out. She asked why am I asking. And then said she has no idea. Yeah, make it 6-1 FK.
Derek’s Pick: This game couldn’t come at a better time, because Night of Champions is right around the corner, featuring a United States championship rematch between John Cena and Seth Rollins.  I predict John Stewart sneak attacks the Hookers with a chair, so Fresh Kills can retain the title.  Night of Champions predictions is for Cena though.
Eli’s Pick: Richie, please text Gabe to see if he will show.  Failing that, Fresh Kills 3-2.

Anklebiters at Gremmies

JOHN CENA!!!

JOHN CENA!!!

Rich: The time is now for fellow-Bash Brother Hicks to score a hattie. 3-2 Gremmies.
Derek: Hicks and Glanzer remind me a lot more of the Bushwhackers than the Bash Brothers.  Glanzer can be Luke!!!  4-1 Biters.
Eli: One of these days, the Gremlins will finally get a win against Craig.  This is not one of those days.  Anklebiters 3-1.

Lbs. at Math

Lbs have been slumping  and Math has been unstoppable. I think they will be wearing their orange Mets jerseys so you know I’m picking Math. 

Rich: The only real prediction is will Tim smash his stick when he gives up the fourth goal? And will Scott’s friends show but be upset that New Trevor isn’t reffing?
Derek: Hope Tim is ready for a trip to Suplex City.  8-0 Math.
Eli: Let’s Go Mets! Let’s Go Math! See Derek’s pick.
Rich: I prefer Lets go Elves, Lets go Mets, Lets go America! Though maybe I can work in See Derek’s pick.
Mega at Cobra Kai

None of these players from these teams have been in my kitchen.

Rich: Only Rob Walsh will get that joke. CK 4-2
Derek: Inside jokes don’t attract readers.  Wrestling references do!!!  Rachel Nabatian goes into BRIE MODE (!!!) to help the Dojo win 5-2.
Eli: Cliff Clavin would be proud of you, Richie. Cobra Kai, 4-1.

Poutine at Dark Rainbows

Rich: I like picking against the Rainbows bc they get mad, but I think they will pull this out 4-2. Two goals for that #17 guy, one from Bernstein and one from a rando girl for the Rainbows.
Derek: Another Night of Champions match features Dolph Ziggler, the American hero facing Rusev, the foreign bad guy.  Truthfully, Ziggler (remind you of any particular team, by the way?) is kind of a dipshit, and I hope Rusev crushes him.  So, I’m also picking the foreign heels in this one…Poutine with the 3-1 win.
Eli: Ziggler is totally Glanzering that shirt! Rainbows 2-1.

Gut Rot at Butchers

Rich: Diane J. is a very lucky girl. I mean she’s friends wrestling with me. I would have picked the Butchers by 3 but now I’ll just go 5-2 Butchers. So I guess I did pick the Butchers by 3. Hattie for Jeff.
Derek: You forgot the most important reason why she’s lucky.  She gets to hang out with this guy.  Butchers win 6-2.
Eli: Butchers take a low-scoring battle, 2-1.

Demons at WTP:
Rich: This game used to be really crazy. But now WTP is fun, though their girls are all evil. Evil trumps evil as Demons win 5-4.
Derek: Demons win 2-1 in OT.
Eli: The Demons may be distracted by the start of the NFL season.  What The Puck with the upset, 3-2.

Filthier at Elves:
Rich: We have so few girls, I’m trying to get Parvati from Survivor to play for us. But she hasn’t replied to my tweet yet.

I know what you're thinking and you're right. This hasn't been my first creepy tweet to Parvati!

I know what you’re thinking and you’re right. This hasn’t been my first creepy tweet to Parvati!

Derek: Honestly, Parvati should do it to get herself back on the radar.  A better choice, however, would be the Bellas.  Oh, and Filthier takes this one.
Eli: I wonder what is “very cool” and waiting for Richie.  Perhaps it’s a 6-2 Filthier win?

Sky Fighters at Instant

Rich: I’ve dropped the Karma since they decided to stop winning. C’mon Chadwick, start winning again so the Elves could move down next year! We need to finish in last, not you!
Derek: Remember when Lord Tensai first entered the WWE and beat John Cena (with the help of green mist)?  Everyone thought he was going to be a star for years to come.  Then John Cena beat him like eight times in a row after that.  That’s Instant Karma.  Sky Fighters win 4-1.
Eli: Does someone need to call Instant Karma’s momma?  Sky Fighters take it, 5-1.
Richie: I forgot to make a prediction. Sky 6-1, just to be cute. But I really think it will bey 7-0.

Rehabs at Riots:
Rich: Battle of the Legends of the Goalies, as $h0wT!m3 goes against Dave. I’ll go with Hector on this one, 5-1. (I would pick 4-1 but I want Dave to post on my Facebook wall how I was wrong and he only gave up 4 goals.)
Derek: I’m still mad at Hector for stealing my shoes, so I’m picking the Riots, and this game doesn’t get a wrestling reference.
Eli: Careful Richie…the Rehabs sometimes borrow David from Math and play Hector out of the net.  Either way, Rehabs 4-2.

← Back to Media