By the Masked Elf

7 teams left, only one will win the coveted PBR Cup. And if you’re not one one of the 7 teams, or in one of Frey’s depraved sports pools, you might have trouble picking a team to root for. Gil recently asked me if anyone was rooting for Fuzz, and I said, “Maybe (Brian Sullivan Alert) Brian Sullivan.” 

Well The Masked Elf is her to help you choose who to root for. Because while all 7 teams are filled with assholes that are unlovable, they each have one good person left.

Lbs.

No, not saying Boylan. She won’t return a phone call for 3 days she can go to hell. The person to root for here is the King of Degens, Alex Frey. The guy sets up pools for all the gamblers, uses the Free Agent list, and always has an alcoholic beverage for you after the game, even if it is disgusting box wine. Good luck Mr. Freylikhman, you are certainly a Gentlemen.

Anklebiters

Schue…nah those are just jokes. Craig, Craig and more Craig. Sadly, my wet dream is not of Alexa Bliss winning the WWE Women’s Championship from Charlotte Flair, though she certainly should. It’s actually of me getting a championship with Coach, Tim Brown and then Craig in three consecutive seasons. Pause. It should be noted Alexa Bliss is also involved but I’ve already said too much. The point is Craig hadn’t even won a playoff game until he left the Unicorns. Now he has to beat his old team to get to the semis. We all should be happy if General Zod’s doppleganger wins.

Instant Karma

This is the easiest choice since Craig. Has to be Chadwick. To bookend a championship at the start and end of the decade will be pretty cool (Hope Gil is able to do it!), but what a way to go out. Now of course Ben has $h0wT!m3d his retirement since 2012, but either way, I’d be really happy for the big fella if he got his second.

Cobra Kai 

I’ll pick Liam if he promises to kick off Russ. Actually, kicking off Russ will prob guarantee the championship. But no, gotta go with LJ. It’s always really awesome to see players significantly upgrade their talent…but LJ’s rise has been meteoric. She went from being surprisingly (at least to me) adequate a few years ago, to now being asked to play for Team Evil, the Shortis. While I hate them and everything they stand for, I like LJ and you should too. You should also hate the Shortis btw.

Fuzz

This is going to be a tough sell. But Hughes has a chance to make BTSH history. No player (that I know of) has ever won back to back BTSH Championships (I could stop there) in his/her first two seasons. I think it’s safe to say that out of all the players I have or will mentioned, the league will root for Hughes to accomplish this amazing accomplishment. 

Gremlins

Rod. Rod is obviously Mike D.’s father and I’m surprised no one has ever mentioned this. The odds are pretty long on this one, but if they win it, I expect a mass exodus of Gremlins leaving bc they want to go out on top, and the six other remaining teams bc they will feel they should have won if the Gremmies did. (Though I’m a big fan of great player/great goalie so Erich/Jamie tandem is not something to take lightly)

Fresh Kills

This is a tossup between Nate and Meg. Nate is the quiet assassin, very good player, great guy and super teammate. But I think I’m going to have to give it to Meg. Meg is loud, brash and truth be told, a lot of fun. Her drinking out of the PBR Cup would be amazing. Her puking inside the PBR Cup would suck and definitely happen, but I’ll prob never win it again so what do I care?