The Squirrels Are Looking Mighty Smug These Days

GAME OF THE WEEK
Mighty Squirrels (5-0-3) vs. Denim Demons (5-0-1-1)
Location: Moffo, 6:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 3-0
Game Notes: The Mighty Squirrels are now the only team left in BTSH without a loss of any kind and have been one of the biggest surprises of the 2008 season.  Although the Squirrels lack a true offensive superstar, they have cruised through their competition on the strength of their teamwork and solid defense.  Despite coming off an unexpected bye week, the Denim Demons were not rewarded with a lot of free time.  After his team lost in a shootout to Filthy Gorgeous two weeks ago, captain Adam “Legen(d) Killer” Rubens ran several extra two-a-day practices to whip his team back into shape.  Since neither team has lost in regulation time or overtime yet this season, it’s only fitting that this game gets the “primetime” booking at 6 PM.
Keys to the Game:
1. In another cunning gambit by Squirrels captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene, defensive stalwart Marie Marberg recently switched positions to forward.  The move has already paid dividends as Marberg scored her first goal of the season last week.
2. In an unusual situation for such a successful team, the Denim Demons have used a rotating goalie system this season.  Although Noah Farkas appears to be at the top of the depth chart, Zack Tinkelman and Steve Chernoski have both recorded shutouts between the pipes.
3. Squirrels enforcer Sven Larsen will proudly unveil a new stick this Sunday, made completely of solid granite.  Although the stick weighs close to fifty pounds, Sven claims it will add two miles per hour to his wrist shot.
Eli’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels.  The Squirrels are very familiar with the 6 PM Moffo game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  By the way, I’m still waiting for my “Team Scrappy” shirt.

Sky Fighters (4-3) vs. What The Puck (6-2)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 5-1
Game Notes: What The Puck’s usually potent offense was held scoreless last week by the Dark Rainbows.  After two straight losses, captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer will have to revisit the film room to get his team back on track.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  Mad Dog is too crafty to lose three in a row.

Fresh Kills (3-4-0-1) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (1-7)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 6-3
Game Notes: Both of these teams wear blue.  However, with Fresh Kills designated as the home team, Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri may get his long-awaited chance to play in a wife beater (and not be ejected for uniform violations).
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills

Mexican Standoff (1-5-2) vs. Tuques (2-5)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tuques lead 8-3
Game Notes: Mexican Standoff star player Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette is disappointed in the recent lack of game notes for Mexican Standoff games.
Eli’s Pick: Tuques
Derek’s Pick: Tuques.  Minkus has been waiting for this game for a long time.

Unicorns (3-5) vs. Bad Touch (0-7-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 7-3
Game Notes: After finishing with one of the lowest goals against average in BTSH last season, Unicorns goalie Craig (“Ug”) is still looking for his first shutout of the season.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns

Dark Rainbows (7-1) vs. Mathematics (2-6)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 2-0
Game Notes: The Dark Rainbows have won their last four games via shutout.  However, regular goalie Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell is listed as doubtful with a shoulder injury.

Happy Little Elves (1-6-1) vs. LBS (5-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves may be in disarray, as alternate captain Jonathan “The Barnacle” Levine has moved to Boston for graduate school.  Although they have lost a very solid defender and team leader, they have gained a lot of personal space.
Eli’s Pick: LBS.  Still waiting for that breakout game from The Alpha Male…
Derek’s Pick: LBS

Corlears Hookers (6-1) vs. Rehabs (5-1-1-1)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
Game Notes: The Corlears Hookers have allowed just one goal in their six victories this season and are operating with the efficiency of a Soviet Olympic team.  However, the Rehabs have won five of their last six games, and boast one of the deepest benches in the league (when everyone actually shows up).  This 2007 playoff quarterfinals rematch should be a dandy.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Because this should help motivate the Rehabs even more.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  The action will be fast and furious in this one, especially since they’re playing on the small court.

Cobra Kai (3-4-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (5-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-0
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous captain Monica Russo is leaving no stone unturned for this game.  She has assigned former Cobra Kai player Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon with the unenviable task of creating full profiles of each of his old teammates.  As for new Cobra Kai players Adriano Bratta and Paul “P.J.” Lopez, Monica has given the Pereira Boys the job of eliminating them “by any means necessary.”
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous

Media Records:
Eli: 41-22
Derek: 38-25