How Did Scott Get In The Bar?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Fresh Kills (6-1) at Sky Fighters (4-2-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 7-7
Game Notes: Former league champions collide in this Hackett Division battle.  Fresh Kills enters on a five game winning streak, and most recently beat What The Puck for the second time this year.  That win propelled the team into sole possession of first in the division, and Fresh Kills now has the best record in BTSH.  Captain Dave Sokolyansky has led by example during this run, tallying all five of his goals in the last four games.  Although the Sky Fighters are now fourth in the division, they sit just three points behind Fresh Kills.  Due to a combination of explosive offense and rock solid defense, the Fighters have compiled a goal differential of +11, good for fourth in the league.  Their last game exemplified these attributes, as they scored five goals against the Tompkins Square Riots, and goalie James Stein recorded his first shutout of the season.  As we near the midpoint of the season, the Hackett Division remains the tightest from top to bottom.  Thus, each divisional matchup takes on extra importance, as these teams jostle for position.
Keys To The Game:
1. Fresh Kills goalie Patrick Barch played his best game of the season in the team’s 3-0 win against What The Puck.  Barch turned aside every shot from the league’s top-ranked offense, exhibiting the form that earned him a spot on the media’s 2010 All-Rookie team.
2. While 11 different players have scored a goal for the Sky Fighters, nearly half of their goals have come from Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka and team captain Dan Hopper.  Each has netted six goals on the season, putting them in a tie for fifth in the league scoring race.
3. In addition to boasting league prodigy Sam Lassner, the Sky Fighters also have the league’s top future superstar in Cory Watkinson.  He has already scored in his first and only game (Week 6), and he was touted by Mega Touch captain Julie Katz as being one of the league’s elite goal scorers before he even stepped on the court.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  You never know who will actually show up in a given week for the Sky Fighters.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  They have been a lot more consistent this season.
Watchability: 4.5 Fosters.  Both teams have a legit shot at winning the Hackett Division and capturing the second seed in the playoffs.

Happy Little Elves (3-2-0-2) at Unicorns (4-2-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 2-1
Game Notes: This is the first leg of the triangular series among the Happy Little Elves, Unicorns, and Dark Rainbows for the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.  Since this three-way rivalry began in 2008, the Unicorns have won the cup twice, the Rainbows have won once, and the Elves have never won.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns.  Even Elves captain Rich Glanzer acknowledges that his team will never win the Fairy Tale Cup.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns.  I just don’t think the Elves really want it.
Watchability: 4 Fosters

Corlears Hookers (5-2) at What The Puck (5-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
Game Notes: Although these teams were scheduled to play twice during the 2010 season, neither game actually took place.  The first contest was canceled due to “rain fears,” while the second was replaced with an exhibition game between the Flowing Locks and Balding Furies.  The Locks won the game 6-1, led by Corlears Hooker Jason Eitel’s two goals.   “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick of the Elves also scored for the Locks.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  WTP’s league-leading offense gets shut down for the second consecutive game.
Watchability: 4.5 Fosters

Gut Rot (1-6) at Cobra Kai (3-2-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: These Schumacher Conference teams enter this contest coming off of dramatically different results in their last games.  Gut Rot finally broke into the win column with a solid 4-3 victory over the Gouging Anklebiters, while  Cobra Kai allowed a season-high six goals in a loss to the Butchers.
Eli’s Pick: Cobra Kai
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai
Watchability: 2.5 Fosters.  Gut Rot keeps it respectable for the first half, but the Dojo ultimately pulls away.

Dark Rainbows (5-1-0-1) at Filthy Gorgeous (3-4)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-0
Game Notes: After a slow start to the season, Filthy Gorgeous has recovered with two consecutive wins, both within the team’s division.  Most recently, Filthy was bolstered by the return of “Gentleman” James Pereira, who scored two goals in his 2011 debut.  However, the Dark Rainbows have never lost to Filthy Gorgeous and will be looking to rebound after a tough 2-1 loss to the Corlears Hookers.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  They don’t want to their two Fairy Tale Cup games on a two-game losing streak.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Watchability: 3.5 Fosters

Mega Touch (2-5) at Gouging Anklebiters (1-6)
Written by MacNeil Division Correspondent Sven Larsen
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mega Touch leads 7-5-1
Game Notes: It’s all about the game behind the game with these two teams. Well informed sources have told us that the recent BTSH two week break due to “community events” was actually a desperate bid by Mega Touch captain Julie Katz to rest aging superstar Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta. Meanwhile, the Anklebiters’ only win of the season came after Biter alumnus Jermey Schumacher’s drunken debacle of a bachelor party in Atlantic City. With two more Anklebiters players set to be married this summer, will captain Phil Donohue take his team on a Hangover 2-like odyssey to ensure victory?
Sven’s Pick: Mega Touch. Expect Donohue’s plan to backfire as Goalie Mike O’Connor’s loss of a finger has a serious impact on his playing ability.
Watchability: 3 Wolfpacks

Mathematics (2-4-1) at LBS, Inc. (4-2-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 3-1
Game Notes: This game will feature two bitter rivals in the Mathematics’ Mike Smith and LBS, Inc.’s Karsten Pichon.  Both believe that they are Rich Glanzer’s BFF and refuse to acknowledge anything to the contrary.  Smith holds the slight edge over Pichon, as Smith and Glanzer were selected by the media as the Best Duo of 2010.  Of course, Glanzer and Pichon were the runners-up.
Watchability: 3 Fosters.  Rich Glanzer himself will be on hand to personally monitor the action, but he will not choose a side.

Tompkins Square Riots (2-5) at Poutine Machine (4-2-1)
Written by Donohue Division Correspondent Monica Russo
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Tompkins Square Riots lead 2-0
Game Notes: Poutine and the Riots have evidently met twice before, which is fairly interesting to me, being that both these teams have only been around for one year prior to this one. However, I go by the info that D&E give me, so if that’s what the media says, far be it from me to correct them. Anyway, what am I supposed to be doing? Oh, right. This should be an interesting matchup, as Poutine has been showing their scoring chops lately, and their goalie is certainly a force to be reckoned with, especially since he never changes his shirt (Seriously. Stand next to Tim at the bar some time. It’s scary).
Monica’s Pick: Poutine. Amy and the Riots have beat this team twice, and it won’t be a blowout, but I think Poutine can edge them out.
Watchability: High. Poutine and TSR have a lot of players who play together on the MOFO league team, Ogilvy, so they are familiar with each other’s style of play, which always makes for a good game.  However, the watchability will be lower than the game going on at 3pm on the EAST COURT. Toodles.

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
La Famiglia (4-0-1-2) at Butchers (5-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: La Famiglia leads 2-0
Game Notes: Of the two HNIT matchups this week, raise your hand if you predicted that Butchers-La Famiglia would be the one with first place on the line, and featuring two of the top 5 teams in points and goal differential. Yeah, thought so. Famiglia has been beating up on non-division opponents, but have yet to record a win against another Donohue Division team. If they’re serious about making a run at a top playoff seed, they will need to rectify that soon. The Butchers appear to have a maturity they lacked last year (perhaps thanks to the offseason acquisition of free-agent octogenarian Chris “Creamy” DiMotta), and are led by BTSH scoring co-leader Ben Bloom. If you listen close, you can hear Mark Jackson saying, “Ben Bloom is having his way…Mama there goes that man!” (forward to the 18-second mark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcvwCn7DwDY)
Vegas Line: Pick-em
Jesse the Greek says: Both teams are on a roll, and this one should be very close. The Family ekes out a tight one.
Watchability: 4.5 NC-17 Twitter posts. Wait, it was supposed to be a DM! Delete! Delete!

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Denim Demons (4-2-0-1) at Rehabs (1-6)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 8-6-1
Game Notes: In another place and time, this game would have been a marquee matchup. June 2011, however, finds the Rehabs in freefall, with a 1-6 record and a minus-6 goal differential worthy of a MacNeil Division bottom-feeder. And in case you were wondering: no, it’s not too early to start talking about relegation. With nearly two thirds of the season left, there’s still time for the 12-Steppers to turn things around, and a win against the division rival Demons would be a great place to start. The Demons are far from the juggernaut they were a year ago, but they have put together a solid record in the league’s toughest group and seem to be gaining momentum with 2 straight wins.
Vegas Line: Demons by 1.5
Jesse the Greek says: Rehabs have been keeping things close, but lay the points with them until further notice.
Watchability: 3 congressional boxer brief pup tents