Could Jake Busey End The Rehabs’ Winning Streak?

What The Puck (6-0) vs. Rehabs (3-1-1)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 7-4
Game Notes: This matchup features two of the hottest teams in BTSH, as What The Puck has won all six of their games, and the Rehabs are currently riding a three game winning streak.  Despite their gaudy record, What The Puck has struggled in one area: attendance.  They have had only one substitute the last two weeks and actually played shorthanded in one of those games.  Personnel issues aside, their lethal offense still leads the league in team goals.  The Rehabs started slowly, but played their best game of the season last week in a 6-0 victory against the Happy Little Elves.  Their deep offensive rotation is led by the Ontario Connection of “Con” Ed Lau and Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman, but not to be overlooked are Sal Malguarnera, Lateef Nurmohamed, Chantel Arroyo, and Brian Wong (who really enjoys playing hockey).
Keys to the Game:
1. What The Puck team cancer, Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri has frequently been seen wearing a Rehabs shirt.  One has to wonder where his true loyalties lie.  The answer is most likely with himself.
2. Cinemax is scheduled to play Tomcats from 1:00 AM to 3:00 AM on Sunday morning.  Rehabs captain Bryan “Stork” Welch will not be able to resist watching this and could be tired and unfocused.
3. Lost amongst the accolades for What The Puck’s explosive offense, has been the steady goaltending of Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz.  He has yet to give up more than two goals in a game.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  What The Puck’s attendance issues finally catch up with them.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  They’ve played nearly perfectly each and every week, regardless of how many of them show up.

Gouging Anklebiters (0-6) vs. Tuques (1-5)
Location: Moffo, 2:30 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 10-2
Game Notes: With a combined 1-11 record, these two teams are itching for a victory.  Expect both teams to play with a little extra vigor in this one.
Eli’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters.  Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri and I have the same number of goals.  That’s not a good thing for Eric.
Derek’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters.  My only concern is whether ‘Biters captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue can rally the troops together for the earlier start time.

Mexican Standoff (1-4-1) vs. Corlears Hookers (4-1)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
Game Notes: Since they are hosting the courtside barbeque and party, Mexican Standoff’s focus might be diverted.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers

Dark Rainbows (5-1) vs. Happy Little Elves (1-4-1)
Location: Moffo, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: This game represents the first matchup in the battle for the prestigious Fairy Tale Cup.  The coveted (and imaginary) trophy will be awarded to the winner of the triangular series among the Dark Rainbows, Happy Little Elves, and Unicorns.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  Captain Sean Reynolds really wants to maintain possession of the Fairy Tale Cup.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows

LBS (4-2) vs. Mathematics (2-4)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: The Mathematics consider it an honor to play on the same court as Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin.

Filthy Gorgeous (3-2) vs. Denim Demons (5-0-1)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 2-0
Game Notes: Although the Denim Demons have an apparent edge in this game based on record, Filthy Gorgeous currently boasts a three game winning streak.  A win by Filthy Gorgeous would be a bold statement and also propel them into the upper echelon of the standings.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  With crowds gathering for the courtside party, the Fightin’ Rubens will feed off of their energy.

Mighty Squirrels (4-0-2) vs. Sky Fighters (3-2)
Location: Moffo, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mighty Squirrels lead 3-0
Game Notes: The outcome of this game is completely dependent on whether Mighty Squirrels star player, Tim “(S)crappy” Gray can recover from his back injury.  If he can, the Squirrels might be in trouble.
Eli’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels.  (S)crappy healthy?  “Oh, puh-leese!”
Derek’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels

Cobra Kai (2-3-1) vs. Bad Touch (0-5-1)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 2-0
Game Notes: Sunday is Cobra Kai captain Peter Oblamski’s birthday.  Inside sources report that several of his teammates have already selected gifts for him: Enayet “Retail” Rasul plans on giving a $25 gift certificate to Best Buy, Adriano Bratta has cooked some of his famous homemade marinara sauce, and Christina “Mojito” Verigan will offer him three free fencing lessons.
Eli’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  The best gift of all would be getting to .500 in June, which Cobra Kai has never done before.
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai

Fresh Kills (1-4-0-1) vs. Unicorns (3-3)
Location: Corlears South, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 4-3-1
Game Notes: These two teams last met in the 2007 playoff quarterfinals, where Fresh Kills sent the Unicorns packing in the sixth round of a shootout.  A similar result on Sunday would end Fresh Kills’ four game losing streak.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns
Derek’s Pick: Tie.  Yeah, that’s right, I predicted a tie.  Big whoop.  Wanna fight about it?

Women’s All-Star Game: Tris vs. Delts
Location: Corlears North, 6:00 PM
Game Notes: This year’s Women’s All-Star Game will feature the TRIS versus the DELTS.  The TRIS will wear white, and will be made up of women from the following teams:
Corlears Hookers
Mathematics
Dark Rainbows
Mexican Standoff
Fresh Kills
LBS
Bad Touch
Happy Little Elves
Filthy Gorgeous

The DELTS will wear blue/dark, and will made up women from these following teams:
What The Puck
Unicorns
Rehabs
Sky Fighters
Mighty Squirrels
Denim Demons
Cobra Kai
Tuques
Gouging Anklebiters

In addition to Peaches’s (potentially) First Annual BTSH Tricycle Race, the All-Star game will feature its own shenanigans and hijinx.  Each half will commence “Multiball” style, with six balls dumped on to the court at once.  The game will continue without interruption until all six balls land in a net.  Balls that go out of bounds can be thrown back on the court by spectators (though hopefully not at the women…that means you, Sharif).

At the end of the game, the losing team will have a the chance to even the score through a blindfolded shootout.  Both the shooter and goalie will be blindfolded, and spectators are encouraged to shout directions.

There may be more suprises unveiled before gameday.  If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please contact Laura MacNeil.

Eli’s Pick: TRIS.  Gotta support the Mathematics ladies.
Derek’s Pick: DELTS.  Gotta support the little lady.

Media Records:
Eli: 30-16
Derek: 31-15