Week 6 Previews
By Rachel G.
Iâm sorry, I know itâs Friday the 13th, and this should really have a horror-movie theme. Unfortunately, I am not really a horror-movie girl. The scariest thing I can stand to see on a regular basis is the wide open net I keep missing. Nightmares.
Cobra Kai at Hookers
Maybe I mentioned this last week…but still…it wasnât that long ago that the Hookers won it all, and this season, not only did they drop a division, but they are hanging out at the bottom of the previously-known-as-Newman division. Unfortunately for them, even if Noelle is back from running another thousand marathons and they dig Dusty out of whatever trendy new bar he is creating, this ainât that easy of a match-up that is going to stop the skid. Cobra Kai has a strong defense and a fast, potent offense. They also have a pair of Rachelâs hanging out at the top of the top of the leader-board.
Prediction: Cobra Kai by 2, donât let that camo fool you.
Fuzz at Gut Rot
Is this the game that Fuzz to finally lives up to the hype? Iâm super excited to see Jeff play in a full shield. Question, did this new broken nose have anything to do with that engagement? (Jeff, you better start listening to Alexa.) Gut Rot has their work cut out for them this week, so letâs hope T. Cho isnât on his honeymoon (congrats, Tommy!), because Gut Rot needs his tireless energy to chase them around. Scott, are you done surfing yet? Bat signal! Your team needs you!
Prediction: Fuzz by 3, Glanzer -1.
Math at Poutine Machine
The well-rounded Liverpool squad takes their talents to the foul lands of Newcastle United this Sunday in a yawner of a contest. LFC may have started the season off with inconsistency, but me thinks they find their groove against an opponent that is still carrying the stink from last season. The strike force of Ramos-Provencher-Lee (wait, that doesnât sound right. feels like Iâm forgetting someone…) will need to triple their efforts against the juggernaut of Stewart-Norris-Kazin.  Â
Prediction: Cherie goes H.A.M. and NU turns on each other.
Dark Rainbows at Mega Touch
Wow, so these two teams are neck and neck right now. Mega is only behind in the standings due to goal differential. Who will end up on top of the not-yet-named-but-previously-known-as-Greene division? I think the key to the game is for one team to score more goals than the other. But what do I know? Say what you will about the not-yet-named-but-previously-known-as-Greene division but this will be match-up to watch. GAME OF THE WEEK!
Prediction: Mega by 1, Bratta en fuego!
Butchers at Filthier
To quote an unnamed Butcher/ex-Filthy âBasically they are like my ex-boyfriend and I want to show up at their house in the middle of the night and be like I AM SO HAPPY WITHOUT YOU. But really mean it.â
So yeah, this is kind of a big deal to her.
Ms. Greene: I canât call the score on this one; itâs either a jinx or self-love. Either way, Ann scores.
Prediction: Filthy is back, baby! And they carve up the Butchers by 5.
Demons at WTP
Most of WTP was last seen at 1 am outside Kellyâs threatening to do shots of name-brand bleach. Listen, dudes…we are all sorry for the heart-wrenching loss. Now go out there, score some goals and regain your dignity. But Mike, maybe wear some sleeves…those wings are looking a little wilted right now. Adam, work on screening the other teamâs goalie, instead of the leagueâs view of the game. Maybe bring pizza, though.
Prediction: WTP by 1, with tears…tears of joy?
LBS at Sky Fighters
Letâs hop in our little time machine and go back to week one, when the Sky Fighters beat the LBS in a shoot-out. Ouch. We can also go a little bit further back to last seasonâs playoffsâŚwhen the Sky Fighters knocked the LBS out of the playoffs. Whatâs going on, LBS? Ali, wtf? You gonna let them own you like that? I know that Olivier smiles enough for the whole team, but is he THAT charming?
Prediction: LBS by 1, try not to let Roman shoot..
Anklebiters at Rehabs
How will the Rehabs react to Opheliaâs post? Â I mean, it doesnât matter…itâs not like she has anything to do with the Anklebiters or anything. Â Letâs just hope they donât actually ask to borrow girls this week. Rehabs, we love you…laugh with us.
Prediction: Rehabs by 2, letâs be honest, Sena and Ryann are really, really good at hockey.
Riots at Fresh Kills
Since Chadwick so kindly brought us back to the days of yore…letâs take a trip down memory lane back to the fateful day in 2006 when Amy, Bob, Dave, BR, Jaclyn Lee and Scott took the rib from Adam …erm, Fresh Kills, and created a new fresh, new, happeninâ lil being. That being is an awesome chick (team?) named Eve…ermâŚ.Riots. While Iâm generally opposed to the idea that woman was created out of the rib of some dude, in this case…itâs somewhat true.
Prediction: Riots by 1, since Girls rule (the world) and Boys drool.
Karma at Gremlins
True conversation between a Karmagian and a Gremlin a couple Tuesdays ago:
Karmagian: ‘Hey, whatâs up man, howâs your season going so far? Isnât it great to be back out on the courts again? Just reviewed the schedule and noticed that we are playing each other in a couple weeks. Should be an entertaining and friendly match-up!’
Gremlin:  ‘Child, please! You are aware there is a Mercy Rule in BTSH?’
Karmagian: ‘Um, yeah. Why?’
Gremlin: ‘We are going to destroy your sad squad and restore order to the formerly-know-as $h0wt!m3 division.’Â
Shots fired! And yes Mr. Graham, that exchange was posted on the Watford Clubhouse bulletin board.Â
Prediction: Swanseaâs wily veterans of Ryan M. and Mark M. will need to dig deep against a fresh and hungry Watford team. Sadly though, Lady Stonewalker will be watching from the sidelines again.Â