Week 6 Preview: Part II
So its my birthday weekend and instead of you giving a gift to me, I am going to give a gift to you, the BTSH Universe. Elly is going to write a preview on how he thinks I am perceiving this matchup, and I will do the same for him.
Suddenly after switching brains with me, Elly remembers every game in BTSH history from the start of the Modern Era (2008), and all of his shirts magically turned lime green.
5 Thoughts, by Elly:
1) Why doesn’t Richie ever talk about Brad or Langer in our previews?
2) I know why, its because I’m better than both of them. I scored two goals last week, none of those two jerks scored any.
3) Why is my grammar really terrible all of a sudden?
4) Hey…why won’t those guys in the background let me sit with them?
5) My life sucks, I wish I was Rich Glanzer.
5 Thoughts, by Richie
Rich is hoping to play some Skeetball at Ace on Sunday to celebrate both his birthday and a Mathematics win!
2) This weekend is also my birthday weekend. Shaun deLacy has not wished me a ‘Happy birthday!’ yet. Neither has Gil’s son. Or Gil’s son’s dad. Don’t they know it’s my birthday weekend this weekend? They’re all getting benched to start the game. I will start instead…
3) Any girl on our team who scores a goal against Math on Sunday gets a dollar. If Derk or Elly are on the court when the goal is scored, I’ll add another dollar. That’s fair…
4) However, if I give you a dollar, you have to play me in Skeetball at Ace Bar after the game. And I will win. Because I never lose to a girl in Skeetball. Or arm wrestling…
5) Derk, Elly, that’s not what I sound like. I sound like this. Derk, Elly…”
[Derek’s Note: There’s no way Richie wrote that, because I’m pretty sure he’s never spelled “deLacy” correctly in his life.]
Other Games:
Gouging Anklebiters at Sky Fighters
This battle is BTSH’s version of Transformation Tuesday.
Sky Fighters were the champs in 2009, and made the semi’s in 2010. Meanwhile, the Anklebiters were Bad Hockey.
But the roles have reversed as the Biters are in the league’s second tier and the Sky Fighters are trying not to free-fall.
Eli’s Pick:
Why are two teams that have not faced off against each other since 2011 playing on Rivalry Week? Oh look! They are in the same division! Anklebiters take leg one, 3-2.
Derek’s Pick:
The Sky Fighters have to win eventually, so I’ll take them in the upset: 4-3.
Rich’s Pick: Pride cometh before the fall. Stein transforms into his old self and wins the battle of the, “Former Best Goalies in BTSH” 2-1.
Filthy Gorgeous at What The Puck
Both teams had a rough start to the season but Filthy has clearly rebounded as they’ve crushed LBS, Inc. and beat Gut Rot. Meanwhile, WTP has a new youth movement led by their captain Emily. Their goalie, Jordan (Big Yellow) should keep them in this game.
This is not What The Puck’s goalie.
What The Puck keeps it close, but Filthy prevails in the end, 3-2.
Derek’s Pick:
So much depends on whether the Suvin-Pereira combo actually shows up. I’ll assume they do and go with Filthy 5-1.
Rich’s Pick: Filthy’s been too hot. 4-2 for the boys in blue. And Jordan (Big Yellow) wishes he looked like that.
Dark Rainbows at Gremlins (written by Elly)
It’s leg two of the no longer prestigious (yet still imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup! But unfortunately for the Gremlins, all they can do is play the role of spoiler, as their regulation loss to the Elves in Week 3 eliminated them from Cup contention. The Rainbows, on the other hand, can still win the Cup, but need to avoid a regulation loss in order to have a chance to wrest the Cup away from the Elves in their week 7 matchup. Spoiler alert! The Gremlins take down the Rainbows, 3-1, allowing the Elves to keep the Cup for another year.
Last week the Elves won the Barnacle Bowl, this week we win the FTC as Ryan Mills scores a goal and Bernstein doesn’t. (written by Rich)
Derek’s Pick:
With the Gremlins already out of FTC contention, the Rainbows clearly have more play for. 3-2 for the dudes in Pink.
Rich’s Pick: Gremmies 3, Rainbows 1. I want to win the FTC on my birthday dammit!