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Week 6 Preview

Nick Will Use His Intelligence To Beat Cobra Kai

GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (3-1-1) at Fresh Kills (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 7-1-1
Game Notes: Former division rivals renew acquaintances in this inter-conference battle.  After suffering their first loss of the season, Cobra Kai responded last weekend with 6-1 thumping of the Tompkins Square Riots.  Rookie linemates Sarab Lalri and Marc Beland combined for three of the goals.  The duo has ignited the Dojo’s offense this season with seven of the team’s 12 goals.  Fresh Kills also had a big win last weekend, as the team shutout the previously undefeated Corlears Hookers 2-0.  The victory marked the team’s third win in a row and once again proved that captain Dave Sokolyansky and company belong in the Weyersberg Conference.  In fact, despite the team’s promotion, Fresh Kills still boasts the second best offense in BTSH with 17 goals.  However, this week may pose the stiffest test yet, as the offense will attempt to penetrate Cobra Kai’s second-ranked defense.
Keys To The Game:
1. Similar to years past, Fresh Kills sports one of the most balanced scoring attacks in the league.  Eight different players have tallied at least one goal this season, with five of them scoring multiple times.
2. Goaltender Peter Lang and the Cobra Kai defense have surrendered just six goals in five games, good for second in the league.  With the offense finally finding its groove last week against the Riots, the Dojo could be a legitimate dual threat going forward.
3. Last season, these teams split two fairly spirited contests, each winning 5-2.  This will be their only regular season matchup of 2011, and both teams would like to win the rubber match.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  They did beat Cobra Kai for the Donohue Division title last year.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  Experience triumphs over youth.
Watchability: 4 Sladeks.  This will be a classic matchup of old school versus new school BTSH.

Unicorns (4-1) at Tompkins Square Riots (1-4)
Written by preview correspondent Will Kuhns
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 2-1
Game Notes: This is a rematch of a Week 1 encounter in which the Unis made Riot kebabs to the tune of many-to-none. In that game, Joe P perfected a move dubbed the “Unicurl” by his teammates, who have been practicing it. Hence, their shutout loss last week. The Riots eliminated the Unicorns from the playoffs last season and Patrik and Alex have been working on a new “ChaiRiot” move which is sure to baffle Craig. [Footnote: a Unicurl is also the device Joe P uses to create his Napoleon Dynamite look.] Will’s Pick: With a frantic late rally involving Chris flinging himself to ground several times, Unicorns emerge scathed, but with a 2-1 win.
Watchability: 3 Sladeks

Dark Rainbows (4-0-0-1) at Poutine Machine (3-1-1)
Written by preview correspondent Will Kuhns
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: After blinding the Skyfighters, Fresh Kills, Rehabs, and Cobra Kai with their darkness, the ‘Bows finally faltered in a shootout loss to LBS last week. Poutine’s lone loss so far has come at the hands of WTP’s “total ball hockey.” Rainbow Josh Wilson has goals in three straight games; Poutine goalie Tim Brown already has two shutouts this season.
Will’s Pick: Marcus gets Poutine up early, and Tim’s butterfly stymies the Rainbows before a late empty-netter. 2-0 Machine.
Watchability: 5 Sladeks. Drama, folks. Drama.

Gouging Anklebiters (1-4) at Butchers (3-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: The Gouging Anklebiters finally recorded their first win of the season in Week 4 with a 4-3 overtime victory against La Famiglia.  However, their momentum ended abruptly last week thanks to an 8-0 drubbing at the hands of the Sky Fighters.  After consecutive losses in the second and third weeks of the season, the Butchers have now won their last two games: a 3-1 victory over Filthy Gorgeous and a 3-0 shutout of the Unicorns.
Eli’s Pick: Butchers
Derek’s Pick: Butchers.  It looks like they have finally returned to their 2010 postseason form.
Watchability: 2  Sladeks

Happy Little Elves (2-1-0-2) at Rehabs (0-5)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 4-2
Game Notes: Thanks to superb goaltending and a guest captain’s exemplary leadership, the Happy Little Elves defeated the Denim Demons last week 1-0 in a shootout.  The game marked the third straight time the Elves went beyond regulation, although it was their first win during this stretch.  The Rehabs have lost their first five games and are last in league scoring with three goals.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves
Watchability: 2.5 Sladeks.  Both of us are picking the Elves, and Rich Glanzer will be in goal.  Uh oh!

Mathematics (2-2-1) at Denim Demons (2-2-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-2
Game Notes: The Denim Demons have only scored one goal, but have also allowed just one goal, in their last three games.  The Mathematics snapped a two-game losing streak last week with a 4-2 triumph against MacNeil Division foe Mega Touch.
Watchability: 3 Sladeks.  Tensions have been high between these two teams since the failed Jim Dandeneau-Orange Hug trade.

Filthy Gorgeous (1-4) at Corlears Hookers (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 8-0
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous carries a four-game losing streak into this matchup with the Corlears Hookers, who have won all eight meetings in this series.  The Hookers have also eliminated Filthy from the playoffs each of the past three seasons, including last year, when Filthy rallied from a four-goal second half deficit only to lose in overtime.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  They always seem to play well after a loss.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Watchability: 2.5 Sladeks

Sky Fighters (3-2) at LBS, Inc. (3-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 8-6
Game Notes: These Hackett Division teams faced off in Week 2, with the Sky Fighters winning 4-3 on the strength of a Mark Bloom overtime goal.  Since then, the Sky Fighters have won two of three games, while LBS, Inc. has won three in a row.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  Sascha gave me an earful after not picking them last week.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. Last weekend’s 8-0 win over the Anklebiters is a sign of things to come this season.
Watchability: 4 Sladeks

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
What The Puck (4-0-0-1) at Mega Touch (2-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 11-2
Game Notes: Now we come to a game that both of these teams likely had circled on the calendar as soon as the schedule came out. Much like the Mets trading away Tom Seaver to the Reds or the Oilers sending Gretzky packing to the Kings, this offseason saw WTP jettison star forward (and league commissioner) Adriano Bratta to Mega Touch. Although exact details of the trade are secret, word is that the Touch paid handsomely for the rights to A-Bra, giving up several draft picks and back-alley sexual favors in return. This Sunday, we’ll see if it was worth it. Lost in the hubbub is the fact that WTP leads the league in points, goals scored, and goal differential. The Ewing Theory at work? Perhaps, perhaps.
Vegas Line: WTP by 1
Jesse the Greek says: Give the point. A-Bra might be good for a hat trick, but WTP has too much firepower.
Watchability: 5 Budweiser minis. This game is perfect for some old-school BTSH heckling. Ace Bar can wait.

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Gut Rot (0-5) at La Famiglia (2-1-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Gut Rot leads 1-0
Game Notes: Is it too early to say the wheels have come off the Gut Rot wagon? Winless, and at the bottom of the league in just about every statistical category, the words of former New York Knick Michael Ray Richardson ring out: “the ship be sinkin.” La Famiglia is just one point off the Donohue Division lead, and is starting to make some noise.
Vegas Line: Famiglia by 2
Jesse the Greek says: Lay the points. The Family runs away with this one.
Watchability: HNIT bumps the watchability up to 3 Klingon Warships on account of an extra-grumpy Ellery. He’s capable of anything after his beloved Capitals just got dumped in 4 from the NHL playoffs. Prediction: he comes out of halftime wearing no pants.

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