The ladies are back at it again.  Here are your Week 5 Previews by Rachel G. and Diana M.(filling in for Butchers preview)!

Demons at Fuzz

Nothing personal here, but if you were to poll BTSH, these two teams would definitely be near the top on the heel/not-highly-liked list. But only one of these teams has competing hate-groups on facebook. Congrats, Fuzz. You win that round. Also Fuzz’s roster boasts two of the top players from 2015 Demons, including their aging (gracefully) keeper. Did Adam use this opportunity to upgrade in net? Did Fuzz upgrade goalscoring by putting the not-heel Steve out to score goals? Grudge match! Should be fun to watch, or ignore… if you follow that facebook group.

Prediction: Fuzz by 2, Glanzer -1

Filthier at Fresh Kills
Holy hangover, Batman. Filthy, what happened to you last week? Here’s a game plan for you, Saturday night, take Gabe out and give him shots while you drink water. Yeah, I thought that wouldn’t work. Barch is having a great season, I like him, I also like Tim K.. They both registered for the Rose Charities Tournament. I’ll also like you if you register (shameless plug).

Prediction: Fresh Kills by 1, Filthy will be tired from kicking Charity’s ass the day before.

WTP at Gremlins
Are you guys going to wear yellow and orange again? That was confusing for your fans, I can’t imagine how you were able to find your teammates. Jamie, did you accept Justin’s friend request yet? I think you should. That would help, that and Rod and Cody getting a few more goals. Maire? I’m lookin’ at you, girl.

Prediction: Gremlins by 1, if WTP isn’t too hungover from the Caps game.

Corlears Hookers at Dark Rainbows
Normally I’d make another mention of the Rainbows’ tough schedule, but they spanked Filthier last week! So I think they have proved they are up to the challenge. Hookers, bring it. Kevin Longwell isn’t afraid of your shot. Even better Rainbows, the goals were scored by three different players. Look at that depth! Also, the Hookers didn’t win it for Prince. Even with Noelle and Eitel in attendence. WTF? Rainbows, make it rain… purple!!!

Prediction: Hookers by 1, they can’t let Prince down twice in a row.

Sky Fighters at Gut Rot
Ladies and Gentleman, James Stein has returned. Last week… that was what he called “rusty.” Gut Rot, you better bring your best shooters! By best shooters, I mean Diane, Heather and Ashley. Someone needs to fill in while GIlligan is playing defense and Scott is off surfing (again).

Prediction: Sky Fighters by 1, Score More, Smile Less.

LBS, Inc. at Mathematics
I learned two important things this last week about these teams: Lbs: It isn’t so much that Scott learned how to celebrate… he just forgot how to score. Math (no, I didn’t actually learn Math, it’s for suckers): Sam is pretty lazy, he just lets Brad do all the work in the corners and say “Hey Dummy, I’m open.” He also makes great kimchi. I hope these lessons prove valuable to both defenses. The End.

Prediction: LBS by 1, we are still waiting on Math’s amazing 3rd alternate jerseys.

Mega Touch at Instant Karma

Karma, you better hope this doesn’t go to a shoot-out. Tuckman lurves a shoot-out almost as much as he lurves wifebeaters and G’n’R pinball machines. When he’s right, he’s right. Maloney, what you got? Oh, you have THE Peter Wilson that scores a lot of goals and you’ve got the 2nd lowest GAA in the league? I see.

Wait! Who is going to watch Tito if Danielle is playing?

Prediction: Karma by 1, Tito will be pissed.

Butchers at Cobra Kai
By Diana M.
Sebastian and Jenks may be on a roll after last week’s win over WTP, but the Butchers are consistently playing well–this is a tough one to call. They both have good chicks named Rachel, and I’m thinking Pete is gonna be reeeeal hangry for a goal after two weeks of fasting. I’m gonna give this one to the crimson tide.

Prediction: Butchers 2-1 over Cobra Kai

Poutine Machine at Gouging Anklebiters

Hey world: Did you hear that Brian Sullivan is playing on a broken ankle? I thought so, but I believe it may be a hoax. Have you seen that kid run? Good thing the ‘Biters have a puppy to chase him around. Note: Amy is also really good at chasing children around. Is this a mirage, or is Derho actually showing up consistently? Even with Derho and a healthy Joe, ‘Biters have their work cut out for them, AJ Frey has been seriously lights out in net.

Prediction: Biters by 2, cheekbones.

Rehabs at Tompkins Square Riots

Can Joe and Drew get past Sena’s solid defense… and Eric’s acrobatics in net? Speaking of acrobatics: Sharif, thanks for coming back to BTSH and showing us how to celebrate… climbing halfway up the fence. This will be a solid match up, TSR has some scoring power, and although Rehabs aren’t giving up a lot of goals, doesn’t look like they are scoring a ton either.

Prediction: Rehabs by 2, Ramy O. this one’s on you.