Marc Summers Would Be Proud 

The Real Physical Challenge Was For Jim to Get His Shirt On
After the smashing success of their Dunkin’ Donuts themed uniforms, the Denim Demons honored another American institution with new Double Dare themed t-shirts.  In addition to a graphic on the front of the shirt, the new version also features player names and numbers on the back (for those of you who can’t tell the difference between “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau and Jeff Kamen by looking at their fronts).  Abigail Meisterman may have the most unique combination with “Dewey” as her name and the Dewey Decimal System classification for hockey as her number (796.962).  However, Micael Holmström’s subtlety of just using his last name and a non-descript number (16) is by far the most brilliant.  In a potential oversight, Adam “Legen(d) Killer” Rubens’s shirt only reads “Legen”, indicating that D may be missing from his game.  He claims the reason for the omission will be revealed at a later date and time…

Blind Melon Was Wrong
In what some are calling a shocking development, it seems that the oil-based surface of Corlears can become rather slippery when combined with rain.  Kudos to all of the players and teams who braved the elements and played hockey on this dreary Sunday…except for Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri, who only showed up once he was certain the rain had passed.

Know Your Neighbors

Name: Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli
Team: Rehabs
Nickname: None…yet
Suggested Nickname: Jorts
Rejected Nicknames: The Game, Lunch Tray, Biloxi’s Finest
Origin: Somewhere in Massachusetts
College: University of Virginia
Early Aspirations: To one day play on the same hockey team as Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez
Reason to Love Her: Check out those jorts!
Reason to Hate Her: She has more friends than you’ll ever have.
Fast Fact: Meredith has visited every U.S. state except for Oklahoma and New Hampshire.
Favorite Food: Rocky Mountain Oysters (the bigger, the better)
Pro Comparison: John LeClair.  They’re both tall forwards from New England.
Non-Pro Comparison: Margaret Thatcher.  Their first names start with the letter M…although Thatcher could probably drink her under the table.
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Her:  Most likely, the jorts.
Down the Road: Meredith will continue to play for the Rehabs for several more seasons, at which point Bryan “Stork” Welch will trade her for a younger player to keep his team competitive.  She’ll retire one season later as a proud member of the Bad Touch.
Best Known For: Consistently giving the media the finger in a yet unpublished library of photos.  And some pretty big sunglasses.

Join the Party Posse!
With the Women’s All-Star Game rapidly approaching (June 8), Jefferson Hendricks needs your help.  If anyone is interested in joining the Peaches Party Crew Committee on Court-Side League Refreshment and
Entertainment 2008 (PPCCCSLR&E), please e-mail peachesparty@gmail.com or jeffhendricks@7foundry.com.  Go see the gun show up close!

Captain’s Commendations

Bad Touch: Elizabeth Moy ran as if the ground were not wet.
Cobra Kai: Randy Locklair of Mexican Standoff filled in for goalie Paul “P.J.” Lopez in the first half.
Dark Rainbows: Jennie Brown did not fall down.
Denim Demons: Adam “Legen(d) Killer” Rubens wants to thank the whole world for coming out in the rain.
Fresh Kills: Jac Lee played 50 minutes on D.
Gouging Anklebiters: Naomi Gabay “knocked some bitches out.”  Phil, you shouldn’t refer to El Guapo that way.
Happy Little Elves: Demetri Adrahtas had what seemed like twenty saves without any goalie equipment, and Melanie Pessin brought surprise birthday brownies for Rich Glanzer, Marc Surchin, and Demetri.
Mathematics: Chris Osgood had 28 saves to help clinch the Clarence Campbell Trophy for the Mathematics.
Mexican Stanoff: Vincent Minchelli sprayed one of his opponents with dirty water and tree residue from the sunken Moffo corner (you know the one).
Mighty Squirrels: “Squirrels rule!”  Rachel, you are eloquent, as always.
Tuques: Bill Monahan was solid on D in trying to keep the high-octane What The Puck offense in check.
What The Puck: Michelle Doucet and Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz are “good” and both played the whole game.
Media Commendation (for worst Captain’s Commendation): Phil “Sandy” Donohue of the Gouging Anklebiters could not make it through a sentence without using profanity.  This is a family webiste Phil.