Rachel?  Are you ready yet???

Math at Corlears Hookers
Talent abound on both sides, but this really might just come down to the ladies. Arguably the two teams with the strongest core of women in the league. But is it a little unfair that Math has two professional hockey players on that team? Edge goes to Math, but with an asterisk. Also, Sam’s headband. Dave, take note: Eitel shoots high glove side (you owe Arthur a beer for that).

Prediction: Math by 1, If Joey can lay off Tinder for the entire game.

Instant Karma vs Butchers

Both of these teams are off to a solid start this season.  While Karma has been playing a more defensive minded style and protecting leads, the Butchers have been an offensive juggernaut.  Pete D and Drake H are leading the league in scoring in the respective genders and could be more than Karma can handle.  One of them will be walking away with their first loss of the season.

<stop trying to butter us up, Isaac>

Prediction: Turnovers will be Karma’s undoing with the Butchers taking this match by 2.

LBs

BTSH! Do you know how great the Lbs are? No? Well good news! I am going to tell you. Let’s start between the pipes, who doesn’t love our ex-commish Timmy? He listened to us all whine to him for three years in that thankless role. Also, the actual NY Rangers call him pony boy. Moving on to the ladies, They are anchored by the blond bombshell Sasha duo. These ladies have been kicked BTSH ass for as long as I remember. As the unflappable captain, Ali’s shit talking abilities might even rival her hockey skills. If they weren’t good enough, they added rookie Liz Boylan who also looks lovely in white. Let’s not forget Ken and Karsten, these guys are honestly too good at hockey to complain about anything, but that doesn’t stop ‘em. Nor does a 7 goal lead stop Scott from celebrating a goal. But he’s getting better about that, since he keeps scoring goals. Also Nick’s hair. I think the demons might put out 3 guys, 2 girls and a goalie.

Prediction: Lbs by 3, with hearts, sunshine and puppies.

Poutine Machine at Sky Fighters
It doesn’t seem like Sky Fighters learned how to smile yet. Will this be the week? Even if they do, few things are more fun than watching Jerome’s face after he scores. The more important battle of the week is between Olivier and Jo-Ann: who can curse and rant better in Quebecois?

Prediction: Sky Fighters by 2. Greg’s use of emojis remains unparalleled

Filthier at Mega

Watch out Dennis, Alex Eben Meyer is right behind you on the leaderboard. I hear the dynamic duo will be in Miami celebrating Suvins __th Birthday. You know what that means? Ann can’t score any goals. Of note: Brady will also be celebrating his birthday, 14 years Suvin’s junior.

Prediction: Filthy by too many. Sucks that Brady is going to get beat with or without the old man.

Fresh Kills vs Dark Rainbows
Congrats Kills. Last week you beat up a dude who never played in net before.  Be reaaaaalll proud of that. Ariel recently told me he no longer has speed, but as we know that kid has skill for days. Interesting, since Aaron has the speed for sure. I’m just not sure it’s enough to stop the juggernaut.

Prediction: FK by 3, and Abby takes home another monster bruise.

Fuzz at Cobra Kai
Fuzz might think they scored a lot of talent (in addition to general disdain) but Cobra Kai is still secretly stacked. Not to mention that other-Rachel scored two goals last week…? I don’t think anyone on the Fuzz has two goals. But this might be the week. Jeff loves to prove me wrong. Pete, please remind these kids that it’s sneaker hockey.

Prediction: Fuzz by 1, Glanzer -2.

Riots at Gut Rot

Gut Rot had a rough go last week, but I think that’s going to end this Sunday. There is too much talent on that team to be held scoreless again. Not that Dave Del Rubio won’t try his damnedest. I’ve got my money on Gilligan getting one. Riots are looking strong this season, nearly pulling off an upset against the demons last week.

Prediction: Riots by 3, but Gut Rot wins our hearts.

Rehabs at Anklebiters
Is Showtime done Showtiming yet? Probs not. With Ryann showing up consistently, this team has all the tools. Is 50’s Rob’s sexism any match for Diana’s cheekbones? Doubt it. Looks like Probie has learned how to hit the net, instead of my face. Ramirez (and anyone in a three-foot radius of the net) watch out for that shot.

Prediction: Biters by 1, if Amy gets talking to Rob.

Gremlins at WTP
WTP is still hungry for their first win, which must be tough for them spending the last 6 months watching the Caps win. They might be hungry, but Jamie is hungry for a milkshake, likes winning, and is a terrifyingly good goalie. Can the Gremlins make it through the game without yelling at the refs? Also, shoutout to WTP for running more than the required two ladies during parts of their game last week. Ophelia would approve.

Prediction: Gremlins by 1, still nobody wants to hear about JW’s +/-.