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GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (1-0-1) at Mathematics (1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 6-2
Game Notes: The once intense rivalry between Cobra Kai and the Mathematics has lost most of its luster over the past few seasons. With heavy turnover on both squads and the two teams sent packing to different divisions, their lone battle last season (a 4-3 OT win by the Dojo) seemed more like a formality of the schedule than a legitimate grudge match. However, with Cobra Kai and the Mathematics each making a strong push in the first couple of weeks of 2011, this feud may be ready for a resurrection. Although Cobra Kai could only muster a 1-1 tie against their Donohue Division foe, La Famiglia, on Opening Day, the team stunned the Rehabs 2-1 last week. Perhaps most notable about these two wins is the team’s vast improvement in defense in holding both opponents to just a goal. Last year, the team surrendered 56 goals during the regular season, which was third most in BTSH. The Mathematics also opened the season with a dissatisfying draw, 1-1 against Poutine Machine. However, like the Dojo, Math rebounded in Week 2 with an impressive 4-1 win against the Butchers. As Cobra Kai and the Mathematics both look to stay undefeated, which team will continue its upward trend, and which will come crashing back to Earth?
Keys To The Game:
1. Cobra Kai goalie Peter Lang has allowed one goal in each of his team’s first two games.  However, the offense has only scored three goals.  Until the offense steps up, Lang will need to maintain his stellar play.
2. The Mathematics’ injury-waiting-to-happen Bradley Schmidt has scored three goals in the team’s first two games, all in the second half.  The team will once again rely on a clutch performance from him late in the game.
3. The anonymous Mathematics general manager has already warned the team to keep an eye out for Cobra Kai’s resident pie expert, Anita Khar.  He stated in an e-mail to the team, “Anita can be a very dangerous scorer, so we have to keep her covered at all times.  Of course, I’m much better than she is at ‘skeet ball.'”
Watchability: 4 Smiths.  Rich Glanzer is very happy about this rating scale.

Mega Touch (1-1) at Tompkins Square Riots (0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mega Touch leads 1-0-1
Game Notes: The Tompkins Square Riots and Mega Touch were both members of the MacNeil Division last year, and while the Riots won the division, Mega Touch won the season series between the two teams.  Mega Touch’s Harvey Jaswal scored twice in each game: a 3-3 tie in Week 10 and a 3-2 Mega Touch win in Week 13.
Eli’s Pick: Mega Touch.  Jaswal is even more dangerous now, thanks to new linemate Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta.
Derek’s Pick: Tompkins Square Riots.  Um, they’re due?
Watchability: 3 Smiths

Dark Rainbows (2-0) at Rehabs (0-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5
Game Notes: The goalies in this game both have the last name of Meyer.  As far as we know, they are not related.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  Gina Hackett is only worried that the Rehabs will become the Boston Red Sox of BTSH.
Watchability: 3 Smiths

Happy Little Elves (1-1) at What The Puck (1-0-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 2-1
Game Notes: After tough losses on Opening Day, both the Happy Little Elves and What The Puck rebounded with strong performances in Week 2.  The Elves, led by a Rob “Smash” Muggeo hat trick, defeated the Tompkins Square Riots 8-4, while What The Puck beat Gut Rot 5-2, thanks to Oliver Hartman’s two goals.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves.  I know they don’t like it when both media members pick them, so I guess this is still okay?
Watchability: 4 Smiths

Corlears Hookers (2-0) at Butchers (1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
Game Notes: These teams last faced off in the semifinals of the 2010 playoffs.  The 18th seeded Butchers entered that game having knocked off the top two seeds in the Denim Demons and Rehabs, but the Corlears Hookers extinguished any hopes of an upset by jumping out to a three-goal lead in the first ten minutes of the game en route to a 3-1 win.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Brendan “Dutch” Kearney has perfect attendance and the Hookers are undefeated.  Coincidence?  I think not.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Watchability: 3.5 Smiths

Gut Rot (0-2) at Sky Fighters (1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Gut Rot leads 1-0
Game Notes: In a game where Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka was noticeably absent, Gut Rot defeated the Sky Fighters in Week 11 of the 2010 regular season in a 3-2 overtime thriller.  According to Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper, Cejka’s attendance for this weekend is “probable.”
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters
Watchability: 2.5 Smiths.  Although the Sky Fighters seem like an obvious favorite on paper, last season’s matchup shows that you cannot discount the resiliency of Gut Rot.

Gouging Anklebiters (0-2) at Fresh Kills (1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 10-3
Game Notes: The Gouging Anklebiters, who always seem to start slowly, are once again going through their early season woes.  In the first couple of weeks, they have already lost two crucial MacNeil Division matchups.  Fresh Kills, on the other hand, opened the season with a gritty victory against What The Puck, but fell to the Dark Rainbows in Week 2.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  Once again, Phil’s squad saves their best performance for the bar.
Watchability: 2 Smiths

Denim Demons (1-1) at Poutine Machine (1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: The Denim Demons are still feeling the burn from last week’s disappointing 7-3 loss to the Corlears Hookers.  This week, they will try to right the ship against Poutine Machine, who is coming off a 4-2 win against the Gouging Anklebiters.
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons.  With co-captain Abby “Tayne” Meisterman on vacation, Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens inspires his squad to a win.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons
Watchability: 2.5 Smiths

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Unicorns (2-0) at La Famiglia (1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 11-2
Game Notes: Who are these people wearing yellow and masquerading as the Unicorns? Eight goals in 2 games? I’m not sure they scored 8 goals all last season. Nothing like getting bumped down a division to fire up the blood, eh Unis? Behind the unprecedented scoring binge and the always-solid goaltending of Craig Lacombe, Team Yellow A has grabbed an early-season Donohue Division lead. The scrappy La Famiglia (Team Yellow B) always seems to be just under the radar and on the cusp of BTSH relevance. Their lack of a perceived identity has had them toiling in BTSH obscurity for some time, despite their usually solid play. Some well-timed post-game hijinks at Ace Bar would go a long way to putting their stamp on a league looking for a new underdog darling. The Guinness, Bailey’s, and Jamesons await you, La Famiglia.
Vegas Line: Unicorns by 2
Jesse the Greek says: La Famiglia is never an easy out, but the Unis look inspired, and their mid-season malaise is still months away. Lay the points.
Watchability: 2.5 Lyndon Johnson Biographies

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Filthy Gorgeous (1-1) at LBS, Inc. (0-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 6-2-1
Game Notes: Speaking of getting relegated, The Lbs. corporation seems to be tottering under the weight of their own expectations and bloated bureaucracy. Still looking for their first win, and with a minus-4 goal differential, The Syndicate apparently still thinks it is February and they can just keep playing MarioKart all day on Sundays. BTSH is still looking for the real Filthy Gorgeous to show up in 2011. Life is not easy in the Rubens Division, but such is the price of greatness. Are they ready to pay it?
Vegas Line: Filthy Gorgeous by .5
Jesse the Greek says: Filthy, and lay the spread
Watchability: 3.5 Retweets

Del Amitri