GAME OF THE WEEK

Corlears Hookers (1-0-0) at La Famiglia(1-0-0)

Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM

Game Notes:So many good matchups this week that it’s a tough pick but this is the one that all the Tim Brown and Bratta division captains will be watching. La Famiglia were the Cinderella story of last year but exited the playoffs early. A win over Rehabs last week has many thinking that they may be picking up right where they left off. But they’re still unproven against top tier talent. Perennial powerhouses the Hookers have put their legal woes behind them but they looked a lot like the Montreal Canadiens in their first game i.e. they struggled to score and needed a shootout to power by Glanzer’s Green Goblins. Not promising when you consider that La Famiglia had one of the stingiest defenses in the league last year. It’s early days yet but this may be a game may help a lot of people figure out if the Italian Stallions are for real and whether the 2012 Hookers are a Sam Pollock franchise or a Pierre Gauthier team.

Keys To The Game:
1. Can the Olson twins find their scoring touch? They’ll need too for the Hookers to get a result.
2. It’s Palm Sunday. Will La Famiglia’s religious heritage mean that the team will be too busy Tebowing to deliver their trademark, impenetrable defense.
3. It’s an election year. Will local politicians be able to resist the appeal of prostitution and organized crime? This game may come down to which team has a bigger war chest for payoffs to corrupt lawmakers and (if he’s reffing) Chris “Cosa Nostra” Di Motta.

Patrick’s Pick: I’m a believer. I think the Family takes this one in a tightly contested, defensive match.
Watchability: 4.0 RICO violations

Mathematics at Butchers

Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM

Game Keys: Almost as inappropriate as last week’s “Do the Math” cheer, this week Derek Tagliarino has been telling his team that all he can think about is “Beating the Meat”. Yeah, I can’t get the image out of my head either. Still, Math managed to score four goals against the Megas last week. And Butcher’s team co-captain Rachel Greene is away touring Southeast Asia for “talent”. Without her firm hand at the tiller, will the Butchers slack off enough for Math to steal a result? Probably not, now that I’ve written about the possibility of them doing just that. Sorry, Lazer.

Dark Rainbows at GutRot

Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM

Game Keys: Which team wants it less? The two most laid back organizations in the league go head to head in an early Sunday match.We predict the game being called midway through the second half so that Gut Rot can go for Bloody Marys and the Rainbows can plant sunflowers. The only player remaining will be Ellery Gilette, continuously scoring on an empty net and celebrating each goal with a shot of Jack. Tragically, his stats will not be recorded as Peaches and Sean already agreed that the only symbols appearing on the game sheet should be hugs and kisses. Nice one, guys.

Gouging Anklebiters at What the Puck

Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM

Game Keys: The new look Anklebiters beat up on the Gremlins last week, scoring more goals in one game than they did in the first month of the season last year. But Anthony Romeo is out to prove that they’re not quite ready to run with the big dogs yet. God may love a terrier but WTP clearly think they’re best in show. The question to be answered is clearly “which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?”

Cobra Kai at Tompkins Square Riots

Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM

Game Keys: The dojo dropped their home opener while the Riots put on a rare offensive display last week. But there are a lot of questions surrounding this week’s game. Will TSR be able to field a consistent lineup two weeks in a row? And has Cobra Kai Co-Captain Will Kuhns gotten over the emotional devastation of watching the USA lose to Canada in soccer last week? And who took Will Adams’ stick. Was it you Greg? Look for the answers (or at least a lot of confused faces) at this mid-afternoon matchup.

Gremlins at Poutine Machine

Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM

 

Game Keys: Editorial integrity prevents us from writing about this one. So we’ll go with trivia instead. Did you all know Jo-Ann Provencher was French Canadian? Me neither.

Sky Fighters at Happy Little Elves

Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM

Game Keys: Top tier teams, plenty of scoring capability on both sides, and solid goaltending from both sides. So what is the secret to winning this game? Rich Glanzer’s infamous vanity and love of non-existent championships. I suggest that Dan Hopper walk up to Rich before the game and tell him that he’s been awarded a Webby for his work on http://sadrichie.wordpress.com/. He’ll be so excited, he won’t stop talking for the rest of the match, distracting his teammates and ensuring a victory for the Czech National Squad.

Fresh Kills at Filthy Gorgeous

Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM

Game Keys:After last week’s performance, Filthy Captain Monica Russo has decreed that no more than six players will be on the FG bench at any one time this year. It’s an interesting strategy but it should solve any player complaints about ice time. Meanwhile, Kills Captain Dave Sokol has taken a different tack, calling up 13 new players after last week’s loss to What the Puck. “It’s clearly time to start rebuilding.”, he told the ORG. Expect this to be a close one guys. 

Lbs. Inc at Rehabs

Location: Tompkins East 5:30 PM

Game Keys: While Sam and Brian battle it out for the title of “tallest man in BTSH who is not Ben Chadwick” their less vertically gifted comrades will be going at it tooth and nail. These are two cranky teams and being last to the bar isn’t going to improve their dispositions any. Look for the game that former Head of Officiating Jeremy Schumacher called “a referee’s worst nightmare” to be hard fought and bloody. No matter what the outcome, we can all count on one thing. Rehabs, suck.

MegaTouch at Denim Demons

Location: Tompkins West 5:30 PM

Game Keys: The scandal rocked Demons take on the BTSH equivalent of choirboys in this week’s final matchup and for Rubens’ Raiders the timing couldn’t be better. The DEmons squad has all the talent needed to win games but still needs to work on their chemistry. For Mega the story is pretty much the opposite. They’ve got great chemistry and work hard but still need one or two more pure offensive talents to yield consistent results. If Adam can rally the troops, this one is the Demons to lose. Otherwise, the GCBs of Mega may be celebrating thier first win.