Jason Eitel Is Gunning For The Demons…Again

GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (11-0-2-3) vs. Corlears Hookers (11-3-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-1
Game Notes: The Rubens Division crown will be at stake when these two rivals meet again on Sunday.  In their first meeting, the Hookers prevailed in a shootout, but only after the Demons tied the game late in regulation.  Since then, the Fightin’ Rubens have continued to come through in the clutch with late, game-saving goals, and as a result, have still not lost a game in regulation.  However, despite this tendency for late game heroics, they lost their last game to another division rival, the Happy Little Elves, in overtime.  The Corlears Hookers have had an extra week to prepare for this crucial matchup, as their most recent game was postponed due to tournament commitments.  However, in the previous weekend, they played twice, defeating Mexican Standoff and losing to the Sky Fighters.  They now sit in third place in the BTSH standings, three points behind the Denim Demons and four points behind What The Puck.  With only five regular season games remaining for each of these teams, this contest will go a long way in determining the top playoff seeds in BTSH, as well as the inaugural Rubens Division champion.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite the importance of this late season battle, the Denim Demons will be without the services of starting goalie, Aaron “Coach” Pagdon.  Both of their backups, Noah Farkas and Zack Tinkelman, are extremely capable, but Pagdon’s imposing presence will be missed.
2. Although she can never legally use it in a sanctioned BTSH game, Noelle Safar of the Corlears Hookers is notorious for having one of the hardest slapshots in the league.
3. Corlears Hookers forward Jason Eitel is currently second in BTSH with 21 goals, while Demons forward Jeff Kamen is seventh with 14.  As the scoring race continues to heat up, it will be a treat to see what each superstar can do for his team.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Eitel is also gunning for that scoring title.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  They will benefit from having Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson as their goalie for most of their remaining games.
Watchability: 5 Dutch’s Brothers

What The Puck (14-3) vs. Mexican Standoff (3-13-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 6-0
Game Notes: Mexican Standoff will be fired up and looking for revenge against the Orange Juggernaut, after What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer poached Hannah Stark in the offseason.  Unfortunately for Standoff, however, the team will not have its leading scorer Ben, whom Larry pilfered during the break at Hannah’s recommendation.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck…even though Larry’s offer to send team cancer Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri to Standoff was promptly declined.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck
Watchability: 2 Dutch’s Brothers.

Dark Rainbows (11-4-0-1) vs. Tuques (6-10-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-1
Game Notes: This game will feature two of BTSH’s top scorers in the Dark Rainbows’ John Nielsen and the Tuques’ Denis Miciletto.  In an unrelated note, this game will also feature two of the league’s best waterskiers in the Dark Rainbows’ Sean Reynolds and the Tuques’ The Peter Wilson.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  They’re due for a statement game.
Watchability: 3.5 Dutch’s Brothers

Sky Fighters (11-6) vs. Happy Little Elves (7-9-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 1-0
Game Notes: These teams meet for the first time since Week 3 of the 2008 season, when the Sky Fighters were victorious 4-1.  Because of this “PBR Bowl” win, the Sky Fighters secured a case of PBR and the right to rename the Elves for a week.  Unfortunately, Sky Fighters captain Amy Lott was unable to think of a clean team name, and thus, got the BTSH media censored for the first and only time ever.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  The media are hopeful that we won’t get censored this time.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters
Watchability: 3.5 Dutch’s Brothers

Filthy Gorgeous (11-4-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (6-10-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
Game Notes: Although attendance issues hindered Filthy Gorgeous in its last game, a loss to first place What The Puck, the team’s offense had been on a tear in the weeks prior.  Filthy had scored 25 goals in its previous four games and is now tied for second in overall scoring.  The Mighty Squirrels snapped a three game losing streak in their last game with a victory over Mexican Standoff.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Watchability: 3 Dutch’s Brothers.  This game was a 3.5 until we found out Ashy Larry won’t be in attendance.

Rehabs (9-4-0-3) vs. Mathematics (3-10-1-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 2-0-1
Game Notes: The Rehabs enter this tilt having won their last three games, including a shootout thriller against the Tuques in the week before the break.  Rob Blandi has led the offesnive attack with four goals during this stretch, while newest Rehab Adam Skuse has chipped in two goals and a shootout winner.
Watchability: 3 Dutch’s Brothers.  Fans of Mofo’s Thundercats will be treated to seeing several of their favorite superstars in this game.

Gouging Anklebiters (7-9-1) vs. Fresh Kills (7-8-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 7-3
Game Notes: The defending champions may have finally righted the ship, as Fresh Kills has shutout Mega Touch and ended LBS, Inc.’s eight game winning streak in its last two contests.  The Gouging Anklebiters have lost their last two games but are encouraged by the recent play of rookie Alex Derhohannesian, who has five goals in the team’s last three games.
Eli’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  Has Fresh Kills started another late season run?
Watchability: 4 Dutch’s Brothers

Unicorns (10-7) vs. Mega Touch (3-13-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 9-3
Game Notes: Mega Touch’s own Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer, the fastest gunslinger in the West, is looking forward to the chance to shoot another ball “through” Unicorns goalie Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s head.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns.  Coop will not get that chance.
Watchability: 2 Dutch’s Brothers

LBS, Inc. (11-4) vs. Cobra Kai (3-11-1-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 2-1
Game Notes: Between the Labor Day break and two postponed games, LBS, Inc. has only played twice since July 26.  However, members of the Corporation have found ways to fill this free time.  Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett stayed at home to watch a Married With Children… marathon on TV Land, while the rest of the team spent the vacation with Mexican Standoff at the beach.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  They’ll be recharged after the time spent at the beach.
Derek’s Pick: LBS, Inc.
Watchability: 2 Dutch’s Brothers

Filthy Gorgeous (11-4-1) vs. Rehabs (9-4-0-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-1
Game Notes: This game was originally scheduled to be played on August 2, but was postponed due to “rain fears.”  As BTSH enters its home stretch of the regular season, only two points separate these teams in the standings, so a win for either could be crucial for playoff seeding.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  $howT!m3 retires as a winner.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. With its full roster intact (including Matt Novick), this team will be tough to beat.
Watchability: 4.5 Dutch’s Brothers

Media Records:
Eli: 75-40
Derek: 74-42

Survivor Pool

Adriano Bratta (WTP) – Unicorns
Steve Chernoski (DD) – Unicorns
Rich Glanzer (HLE) – Happy Little Elves
Hector Melendez (REH) – Sky Fighters
Bryan Welch (REH) – What The Puck

Eliminated
Eric Breitman (MSQ) – Week 12
Gavin Kearney (CH) – Week 12
Nestor Nonato (GA) – Week 12
Georgine Paulin (MATH) – Week 12
Bob Weyersberg (FK) – Week 12
Phil Donohue (GA) – Week 13
Robert Gorden (MSQ) – Week 13
Dave Ladanyi (TUQ) – Week 13
Rob Muggeo (HLE) – Week 14
Sean Reynolds (DR) – Week 14
Lourdes Banez (SKY) – Week 15
Ben Chadwick (HLE) – Week 15
Amy Lott (SKY) – Week 15
John Meyer (DR) – Week 16