Corlears Hookers at Cobra Kai
by Arya Stark
As mentioned yesterday, this matchup will determine who wins the division crown, clinches a top seed and moves up a division next year. The Cobra Kai won their first meeting in June by a score of 4-0, a victory which kicked off a seven game winning streak that was broken by Filthier in the last round of games before OC. The Hookers, meanwhile, had a six game win streak of their own snapped by the Fresh Kills in a hard fought playoff-worthy battle. These two teams are statistically as close as you can get, scoring the exact same number of goals and with Cobra Kai allowing just three less. These are two evenly matched elite teams but in the end, this game will be decided by the showdown in net of Campbell v Longwell and Tiffany/Noelle finding a way to bury one.
Prediction: Hookers take the division with a 4-2 win.
LBS, Inc. (10-5-2, 24pts.) at Rehabs (13-2-2, 28pts.). Tompkins East, 1600
This Soko division clash won’t be a close one, but los blancos will certainly try to make things level (and interesting) with the rossoneri. As far as playoff scenario goes:
- The Rehabs can secure a #2 seed with anything but a regulation loss. With Filthier right behind them, a loss would have them clenching their teeth because of goal differential, because both squads are separated by only one goal. If the goal differential becomes even, then Bryan’s bunch have the advantage, having vanquished James the Gentleman’s side twice this season.
- Karsten’s kids can seek as high as 5th with a win if Poutine, Gremlins, and Hookers fail to get a point in their matchups. But they could fall to 9th if they lose and Ariel and the Untouchables don’t gain 2 points against the Butchers in their historical campaign. Having had a commendable season even with the lack of a consistent goaltender, the LBS. winning record was pockmarked with Ls along the way. The “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” between Poutine (W6) and Math (W16) should no longer be a concern and the focus should be on this game only.
Prediction: The titleholders have enough momentum to bulldoze the opposition. Their key players having hit up OC for the healthiest 3 Bs of “adulting” (beach, booze, and ball hockey), the playing surface has warranted more cardio, which would have them fit for this Sunday’s matchup. But some LBS players will have participated as well, and we’re hoping that upon return, Tommy C. can stir up the masses—and his team—with this beauty of a track named after him.
Butchers at Fresh Kills
Last season in the playoffs the Kills took the wind out of the Butchers sails by beating them at their own game. Well, Dana, DSJ and the gang haven’t forgotten how it all went down. During the league’s recent hiatus the Butcher’s brain trust of Rachel, Mike and delicious Single Malt developed a couple wrinkles for this game.
BREAKING NEWS: the reconstruction of Natasha’s right knee into a bionic asset (weapon) for her team has been completed. Stronger than before she returns to action this Sunday to inflict all of the snootiness the French taught her on poor Georgine.
Prediction: Pete makes Pat and Fresh Kills’ defense look mortal, but in OT Rush delivers and FK caps off a historical season, 5-4.
Denim Demons at Mathematics
Fresh off of a fulfilling evening of torturing young mens by tying them up and beating them with a wiffle ball bat, Sarah H is ready for likes of those Demons.
It must be “Mismatch Week”, as the home team dukes it out for dominance with their unequal visitors. Expect fireworks from the crafty forwards of Zach, Sam, James, and Tracy. In goal, it’s Dave vs. M-Jared, but before you jump to conclusions you need to consider the relative strengths of the offense and defense in front of them. In other words, goaltending might not be the most significant factor. They’re going to try to rebound from last week’s loss and make a big statement, and it’s up to their opponents to stop them.
Prediction: the outcome of this contest ends up being better than Josh’s latest Tinder date as the Demons pull off the upset, 3-2.
What The Puck at Poutine Machine
A couple of weeks ago this looked like the battle for the division crown and the rights to being sent back down at the end of next season. But another win by Poutine and a loss by the Pucks in Week 17 has turned this contest into just a friendly grudge match. Which is too bad for the Pucks. You see, over these past two seasons they just seem to have Poutine’s number. Having knocked them out of the playoffs last year and blanking them on opening day this year, it appears the Pucks are in the heads of Nic, Ponytail girl (Heather? Haley? Hottie?) and Poutine.
Prediction: a hotly contested bought that sees two scoring lead changes ends up going to Poutine as they earn two more points towards a more favorable playoff seeding, 7-5.