Hello Czech Republic!

As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we, the writers, thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:

1. While the bulk (96%) of site traffic comes from the United States, one of the highest ranked foreign sources is the Czech Republic with nearly 20 visits in the last month.  Undoubtedly, this can be attributed to Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s large following in his fatherland.  However, a more interesting trend may be that Uganda ranks directly behind the Czech Republic with approximately 16 visitors.  We speculate that this trend can be attributed to Jason Eitel’s large following in his fatherland.

2. Unsurprisingly, more than 90% of the site’s New York state visits are from New York City.  The next three highest locations all come from western Suffolk County (Ronkonkoma, Yaphank, and Brentwood) and account for a combined 4%.  According to league registration records, a certain Happy Little Elf, who is one of the site’s most frequent commenters, happens to reside and work in this region.

3. The top keywords that have brought people to the BTSH site are as follows: “btsh”, “btsh.org”, and “btsh tuques”.  Clearly, the “Tuques hockey.” marketing campaign has worked, as the team is now one of the hottest trends on btsh.org.  Already, a “Cobra Kai hockey.” campaign is in the works for next season.

4. The title for most searched individual on btsh.org belongs to the Rehabs’ own Stacy Kehoe, the namesake for the Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness & Grace.  The following keywords all made the top 20 searches (in rank order): “stacy kehoe new york,” “stacy kehoe btsh,” “stacy kehoe pics,” and “stacy kehoe.”  We can only imagine what type of “stacy kehoe pics” one might be searching for, but if nothing else, we do recommend the photo from the 2008 Week 3 Box Scores.  Other high-rated Rehabs searches include “chantel arroyo,” “btsh rehabs,” and “romeo goalie rehabs.”

5. Although league veteran Zack Tinkelman of the Denim Demons ranks nowhere near the top keyword searches, his father, Joe Tinkelman, cracks the top 25.  In fact, he ranks as the most popular Demons-related search, almost doubling the next in line, “chernoski.”

So Where Were All Those People?

As you may have noticed, several of BTSH’s most prominent players were conspicuously absent from league play last Sunday. However, their weekend was not without competitive hockey, as they were busy representing New York City at tournaments in Montreal and Ocean City, Maryland.

Filthy Gorgeous’ “Gentleman” James Pereira led one squad (named Metro) into the men’s competition of Ocean City.  Although the team did not advance to the playoffs of the tournament, Pereira notes that all of the team’s games were close, and the team proved they could compete with anyone.  He adds, “[Anthony] Romeo played great in net by making big saves and keeping us in games.  Overall, we had a great mix of players this time around, bringing various assets to the lineup.”  Other highlights of the trip included Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato making out with absurd women, whiskey shots, peeing in public, “1940” chants on the bus ride back to the hotel, Papa John’s pizza fest, and (non-BTSH member) Chuck Solomon fist-fighting Susannah.

Mexican Standoff’s Haanwa, captain of the co-ed team in Ocean City (Moffo), sums up her squad’s tourney experience: “[We] returned to Ocean City with our strongest tournament performance to date. We came out of regular games in second place after one tie and one well deserved win. Unfortunately, during Sunday’s playoffs, we weren’t able to hold our winning position. But we drowned our sorrows in beer and crab cakes, so now the loss is but a faint memory.”

Liza Watts of Filthy Gorgeous was the lone BTSH player to play in the women’s division of the Ocean City event.  Her team, the Bruisers, won the tournament.

Peter Putka also led a small team (Bullmoose) into battle in Montreal.  His team lost in the quarterfinals of the competition, despite having only one sub.  Otherwise, this and this sum up the weekend.

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Rob Muggeo
Team: Happy Little Elves
Nickname: Smash
Rejected Nicknames: Pulverize, Hockey Rob, Crash, Hatchet
Origin: Uniondale, NY
College: Colorado School of Mines, New York Institute of Technology
Quote: “Rich, I had a dream…”
Early Aspirations: To restore Long Island’s rapidly diminshing water table
First Job: Stable boy at Mott’s Pony Farm
Current Job: Architect
Hero: William Levitt
Reason to Love Him: Although he is one of BTSH’s oldest members, he continues to play every week at a high level.
Reason to Hate Him: He’s often found near Rich Glanzer.
Fast Fact: Rob believes that Long Island has the best beaches for surfing in the world.
Favorite Things: New York Rangers, westbound lanes of the Southern State Parkway, Growing Pains, eggplant parmesan
Least Favorite Things: New York Islanders, Who’s The Boss?, shoddy design, electric lime green
Best Known For: Being a part of the Demolition line with Garrett “Ax” Carrino and Chris “Crush” O’Neill.
Hockey Comparison: Christopher Higgins
Non-Hockey Comparison: Gallagher
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Him: His distinct similarities to every other player on his team…except Eric ” El Guapo” DiPierri.
Down the Road: After Ben Chadwick forces him to retire from BTSH, Rob turns his attention to local politics and proposes a plan that would make Long Island the 51st state.  Unhappy with his tax dollars being spread across the entire state, Rob’s plan would keep all money within Nassau and Suffolk counties.  His campagin eventually comes to fruition when the New York State legislature approves his proposal, officially making Long Island a sovereign entity.  Oddly, no one in the rest of New York seems to mind.