Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn.  For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game. 

Gremlins at Fresh Kills
by Jess (apparently the resident haiku master) D

Gremlins
Sad Poutine beat them
Even more sad Erich left
Rod scored the lone goal
In last week’s decimation
New player Courtney
Could possibly give them life
Which is shocking cuz
Walker hates milennials
Plz score you guys thx

Fresh Kills
A truly strong team
Check out some of these players
Gabe switched to defense
Nicole can kill anyone,
arm wrestling champ
Sheena deadlifts more than Gabe
Canadians suck
Oh yeah back to street hockey
This team is scary

Prediction:
Wallowing Gremlins
Vs Unstoppable Fresh Kills
Fresh Kills win 4-1

Mega Touch at Gouging Anklebiters
by Chica Malcriada

Mega
No easy task Tuck
Eric and Shelly needed
Larry and jorts too

Alok brings the heat
Light brunch for Julie and team
Jeffs are Weapons X

Biters
Phil leads to battle
Probie, Worky, Dehro damn
Moore underrated

Craig or Tim no prob
Schuie’s veteran savvy
Amy has last laugh

Prediction:
Mega no cheap date
Biters have to work for it
We like the upset

What the Puck at Sky Fighters
by Chica Malcriada

Pucks
Mike D is sure shot
Susie is the heart ‘n soul
Sweet baby Camden

Defense be alert
Don’t feed Scott after midnight
Pads smell horrendous

Sky Fighters
Avs cap Sean nasty
His boo Carlin got that pep
Make sure Katie there

Stein was second Star
Gonna need that Jake support
Caroline no sweat

Prediction:
Pucks pee a little
When James brings that fuck’n rush
Fighters will prevail

Rehabs at Poutine Machine
by Chairwoman Rachel and Cheekbones

Fuzz at Gut Rot
by Cerie Xerox

Glanzer has had this rematch circled on his calendar ever since Gut Rot pulled one of the biggest upsets in BTSH history, beating The Fake Elves last season.

Personally I hope this game gets rained out, and then the rain date gets rained out, causing the game to never be played. It would drive him insane.

Keys to the game for Fuzz:

  • Don’t get into a chugging contest with Morgen or Heather. You’ll lose. Horribly.
  • Take care of Rich and Walsh’s bum knees. Those guys have been stumbling around more than Hannah and Becca at an all-you-can-drink margarita night.
  • Don’t let Miles miss half the game again.
  • Don’t get hit by one of Perko’s shots. (The bruise on my leg is blacker than Spinal Tap’s album.)
  • Find out if Paul is still alive. The last time I saw that guy Right Said Fred was still on top of the musical world.
  • Let me know if Gil is actually the principal from Back To The Future. This doesn’t have anything to do with the game, I am just not convinced they aren’t the same person.
  • Don’t call yourselves the Elves for this game. It didn’t work out so well last year.

Those were the days.

Keys to the game for Gut Rot:

  • Somehow make Jeff and Alexa believe they have a softball triple header so that they miss this game.
  • Watch out for Sarah T. on the back door. Apparently she scored a PRETTY goal this way, a couple weeks back.
  • Give Coach orange beer right before puck drop. I’m told it’s like his kryptonite.
  • Hope that Liza and Gilligan show. You’re gonna need their defensive skills (and probably a miracle, too).
  • Sit Akhil out. Rumor has it he scored last week, which means he won’t score again for probably 7 or 8 games.
  • Get the puck to Larry, that dude is due.
  • Don’t bring up to Scotty the fact that he is 40. It’s a sore subject.
  • See if you can get Mike T. to smile. It’s the only win you’re getting Sunday.

Prediction: I’m not going to lie, this game has all the makings of a “stop, stop, he’s already dead” situation. However, if Ed plays really well, and the Rot defense tighten things down, it could be 6-2 Fuzz. If not…..it could be the first mercy rule game in many years. (Frowny face.)

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