Week 17 Previews â Part 2
Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn. For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game.Â
Gremlins at Fresh Kills
by Jess (apparently the resident haiku master) D
Gremlins
Sad Poutine beat them
Even more sad Erich left
Rod scored the lone goal
In last week’s decimation
New player Courtney
Could possibly give them life
Which is shocking cuz
Walker hates milennials
Plz score you guys thx
Fresh Kills
A truly strong team
Check out some of these players
Gabe switched to defense
Nicole can kill anyone,
arm wrestling champ
Sheena deadlifts more than Gabe
Canadians suck
Oh yeah back to street hockey
This team is scary
Prediction:
Wallowing Gremlins
Vs Unstoppable Fresh Kills
Fresh Kills win 4-1
Mega Touch at Gouging Anklebiters
by Chica Malcriada
Mega
No easy task Tuck
Eric and Shelly needed
Larry and jorts too
Alok brings the heat
Light brunch for Julie and team
Jeffs are Weapons X
Biters
Phil leads to battle
Probie, Worky, Dehro damn
Moore underrated
Craig or Tim no prob
Schuieâs veteran savvy
Amy has last laugh
Prediction:
Mega no cheap date
Biters have to work for it
We like the upset
What the Puck at Sky Fighters
by Chica Malcriada
Pucks
Mike D is sure shot
Susie is the heart ân soul
Sweet baby Camden
Defense be alert
Donât feed Scott after midnight
Pads smell horrendous
Sky Fighters
Avs cap Sean nasty
His boo Carlin got that pep
Make sure Katie there
Stein was second Star
Gonna need that Jake support
Caroline no sweat
Prediction:
Pucks pee a little
When James brings that fuckân rush
Fighters will prevail
Rehabs at Poutine Machine
by Chairwoman Rachel and Cheekbones
Fuzz at Gut Rot
by Cerie Xerox
Glanzer has had this rematch circled on his calendar ever since Gut Rot pulled one of the biggest upsets in BTSH history, beating The Fake Elves last season.
Personally I hope this game gets rained out, and then the rain date gets rained out, causing the game to never be played. It would drive him insane.
Keys to the game for Fuzz:
- Don’t get into a chugging contest with Morgen or Heather. Youâll lose. Horribly.
- Take care of Rich and Walshâs bum knees. Those guys have been stumbling around more than Hannah and Becca at an all-you-can-drink margarita night.
- Don’t let Miles miss half the game again.
- Don’t get hit by one of Perkoâs shots. (The bruise on my leg is blacker than Spinal Tapâs album.)
- Find out if Paul is still alive. The last time I saw that guy Right Said Fred was still on top of the musical world.
- Let me know if Gil is actually the principal from Back To The Future. This doesnât have anything to do with the game, I am just not convinced they arenât the same person.
- Don’t call yourselves the Elves for this game. It didnât work out so well last year.
Keys to the game for Gut Rot:
- Somehow make Jeff and Alexa believe they have a softball triple header so that they miss this game.
- Watch out for Sarah T. on the back door. Apparently she scored a PRETTY goal this way, a couple weeks back.
- Give Coach orange beer right before puck drop. Iâm told itâs like his kryptonite.
- Hope that Liza and Gilligan show. Youâre gonna need their defensive skills (and probably a miracle, too).
- Sit Akhil out. Rumor has it he scored last week, which means he wonât score again for probably 7 or 8 games.
- Get the puck to Larry, that dude is due.
- Don’t bring up to Scotty the fact that he is 40. Itâs a sore subject.
- See if you can get Mike T. to smile. Itâs the only win youâre getting Sunday.
Prediction: Iâm not going to lie, this game has all the makings of a âstop, stop, heâs already deadâ situation. However, if Ed plays really well, and the Rot defense tighten things down, it could be 6-2 Fuzz. If notâŚ..it could be the first mercy rule game in many years. (Frowny face.)