GAME OF THE WEEK

What the Puck at Lbs. Inc.

Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM

Game Keys:

Welcome back, BTSHers. While everybody comments on each other’s tans and catches up on vacation stories (yes, several more league members are now banned for life from SECRETS), wily old veterans know that this is the time to prep their teams for the last few games. And they don’t come any wilier (or older) than Sascha and Larry. We would have picked this game as GOTW because it’s a classic matchup between two of the league’s most venerable franchises. But it’s also a 4-point game in what is arguably the league’s tightest playoff race. WTP’s weak divisional record and low goal differential mean they need to win the division. If they end up tied with La Famiglia for the top spot, Larry’s Orange Army may lose the coveted #2 seed and a chance to play a more predictable opponent. There’s a log jam below the division leaders so finishing second could mean facing down any number of wildcards. Meanwhile, earlier in the season, the LBS. looked like a lock to take the first spot. With summer attendance woes no longer an issue, they’re close enough to still make a run at the title. A win here is a must, especially since WTP and La Famiglia face each other next week.

Keys to the Game.

1) Babysitters

While Zimm and company continue to lobby the League office for BTSH sponsored daycare, an outbreak of chicken pox or kid’s birthday parties could have a devastating impact on their bench.

2) Venerable=Old

While parenthood has aged the Puckers, the simple progress of time has done the same thing to the LBS. core trio of Sam, Ken and Carsten. Have the rigors of an 18 game season finally started to take their toll. Are the LBS. the BTSH equivalent of the 2010 Detroit Red Wings. Or do the Three Amigos still have one last campaign left in them?

3) Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?

It’s getting awfully close to the big day. That means WTP goalie Anthony Romeo is in the best shape of his life. It also means he’s 50/50 to make the game. Life before hockey, right, Romes?

4) The game is on the East Court

I have no idea how this impacts things but I figured I should add one more factor to give this write-up an Eli-like obsessive amount of detail

Game Prediction: If ever there was a game you would expect to go to OT, it would be this one. It’s all down to who shows up on Sunday and who wants it more. With a lot more at stake for Sascha’s Bashers, we’ll give the edge to the LBS.

Dark Rainbows at Mega Touch

Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM

Game Notes: Two teams that are better than their records indicate come together to show the league what they’ve got. It feels like I write a variation on that statement every week, but both the Bad Touch crew and the Hippies have pulled off some well deserved upsets (and lost some heartbreakers) in recent weeks. Both teams have also managed to stay true to their character. Unfortunately, for the Megas, they’ll be without team Captain Julie Katz and scoring threat Adriano “Andiamo” Bratta who are prepping for the playoffs with two weeks in Italy (Tiramisu is not a superfood, Bratta). Also, the Rainbows are mean if you get them riled up. Especially, Meisterman. With only, Eric Devlin matching the intensity of Sean, Josh, Brice and co. this one goes to the multi-colored multitude.

Butchers at Poutine Machine

By Rich “So Tired” Glanzer

Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM

Game Keys: While this game features the 1st Place Machine vs. the tied for 2nd place Butchers, it really has very little meaning for Poutine. They are six points ahead of both the Butchers and Cobra Kai and need just 1 point to clinch first. Yes, Cobra Kai actually has 8 wins despite not having 8 people with hockey talent. I guess Will Kuhns and JJ *are* that good! We sure know its not Peter Lang. But I digress.

Poutine will be the 3rd seed going into the playoffs and Patrick is viewing this game as the Jets did their last pre-season game. The Jets didn’t play Sanchez or Tebow and refuse to run their new NEDI…I mean Wildcat formation. Sven says, “I too will not start Tebow, Sanchez, Provencher or that blonde chick that plays good but not great D. I think her name is Charlotte.” It’s Chelsea, Sven.

Over on the Butchers side Ben B. and Chris D. are taking this game as serious as a playoff game. Which means they could care less if they win or not. In O.C. they beat Richie’s Kids 1-0 and if they remembered it, they could rub it in for a year, but luckily for me and my teammates I’m pretty sure the latest round of mind altering substances washed away the memory of the game for them. (Didn’t put their last name so if future employers of Chris googled his name the mind altering substances reference wouldn’t come up. Ben probably would have gotten a few more gigs if I kept it in)

As for the hockey…I see Poutine pulling out the W here. Tim Brown gets a shutout, 2-0.

Editor’s Note: New readers may not know that a Glanzer pick is the equivalent of the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED cover curse. Guess Poutine will have to wait at least another week to clinch the division.

 Happy Little Elves at Filthy Gorgeous

By Abby “So Over Them” Meisterman

Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM

Game Keys: I believe there are three teams about which Sven likes to see me write: Filthy Gorgeous, Cobra Kai, and Happy Little Elves. While I could’ve written up the Cobra Kai v. Mathematics game to make it up to Justin Perras — who only wanted me to write the preview so he could see his name in “print” — and Derek Tagliarino, The Org decided to make it up to Trevor Beauclair and Rich Glanzer. (These four being, apparently, the only people, aside from Denim Demon’s father figure, Joe Tinky, who read the blog.) Why he chose the latter two, and thus the Elves, will remain a mystery to me. So, without further ado…

Blah blah blah… Top Filthies scorers: James Pereira and Sunny Mehra… Blah blah blah… Goalie with anger management issues, Shaun DeLacy, and ego-riddled captain, Rich Glanzer… Blah blah blah… When these two teams first met this year, only two games had been played: FG had gone 1-1 and the Elves were not too happy* with their 0-2 record. As we near the end of the regular season, these teams are boasting similar records; with FG trailing with one tie to the Elves win. However, it’s worth it to note that FG has won all of their divisional games while the Elves have lost theirs. That being said, and because I like Monica, I’m saying the pretty ugly ones should have this.

Sort of related, I’m really torn about who would win the Cobra Kai v. Mathematics game… There’s a lot of talent on both sides! I guess I could decide on this the way I decide other athletic competitions: which team has better looking players.** (Oh, shut up! You totally do this!) Hmm…

* Get it? Get it?! Ahhh, shut yer hole.
** I will not be rooting for the Jets.

Editor’s Note: This may be the first time that Shaun DeLacy’s name has been spelt correctly on the blog this season.

 Gut Rot at Gouging Anklebiters

By Monica “So Happy For You” Russo

Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM

Game Keys: Are we paying attention? The Anklebiters have a lot more wins than losses, this season. Unfortunately, not the case for Gut Rot. However, I think you guys both got schooled the last time we played, no? Anyway,  it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, the break is over, and they’re all anybody’s game.

That said, I think it’s time for some shakeup. I want to see a goal apiece for Jen Harlan, Bill Tucker (yep), Matt Workman (post-wedding goals are the sweetest), and Amy Barrett Donahue. I love seeing these teams play each other, and that’s truly no joke. Sorry I have no more to say. Catch me next week.

Part 2 of our Week 17 previews will appear tomorrow.