Sascha Is Thrilled To Renew Acquaintances With The Demons

GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (12-1) at LBS, Inc. (6-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 9-1-1
Game Notes: Two of the hottest teams in BTSH collide in this Rubens Division battle.  The Denim Demons have won their last 10 games, dating back to their only loss of the season in Week 4.  They have allowed the fewest goals in the league due to the stellar play of all-star goalie Aaron “Coach” Pagdon and a nearly impenetrable defense.  In addition, the team boasts two of the league’s top 10 scorers in Zack Tinkelman (16) and Mike Pereira (12).  LBS, Inc. has also looked impressive in recent weeks.  The Corporation has won three games in a row and is back at .500 for the first time since Opening Day.  The offense has been en fuego over this stretch with 19 goals, bumping the team to a tie for second in scoring.  LBS, Inc. also has two players in the league’s top 10 in Karsten Pichon (14) and “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (14).  With the first game between these divisional opponents canceled due to “rain fears,” both teams will be looking to make a statement in their only meeting of the 2010 season.
Keys To The Game:
1. Depending on the outcome of the Sky Fighters/Corlears Hookers game at 1:00, the Demons may have the opportunity to clinch the Rubens Division in this game.  The chance to win a second straight division title and secure the top seed in the playoffs should provide the Demons with plenty of motivation.
2. LBS, Inc. captain Sascha Puritz is clearly well-prepared and excited for the Corporation’s first game of the week of 2010.  She noted, “We have hockey on Sunday?  I thought it was a bye week.”  She continued with several expletives upon learning that her opponent would be the Demons.
3. Although the Denim Demons have torn through BTSH this season, they have historically struggled against LBS, Inc.  They have won just once in 11 meetings with the Corporation, which includes last season’s 3-2 loss in Week 22.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  The Corporation’s mastery continues.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.   With the potential to clinch the division title and four players involved in the All-Star Game, this could be a banner day for the Demons.
Watchability: 4.5 Poulins.  Two high-scoring offenses on hot streaks should make for a very exciting contest.

Sky Fighters (7-5-0-1) at Corlears Hookers (9-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 3-1
Game Notes: These two teams last met in the semifinals of the 2009 playoffs, where the Sky Fighters upset the Corlears Hookers 4-2.  Robert Kucera’s game-winning goal with 16 minutes remaining in regulation broke a 2-2 tie.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Watchability: 4 Poulins.  Inside sources report that there may be a Dutch sighting at this game.

Butchers (4-5-0-4) at Mathematics (6-5-0-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: The Mathematics have had this game circled on their calendar since the beginning of the season.  With the offseason defections of Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins and Georgine “Mulva” Paulin to the Butchers still fresh on their minds, the Mathematics have placed on bounty on both of their former teammates’ heads.
Watchability: 3.5 Poulins.  The Mathematics do not take kindly to players transferring to another team.  Just ask Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten of the Happy Little Elves.

Rehabs (7-5-0-1) at Dark Rainbows (7-4-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-4
Game Notes: The Dark Rainbows currently lead the Hackett Division, but three teams, including the Rehabs, sit just one point back in the standings.  With these teams still scheduled to play each other twice in the final four weeks, their series will have a large impact on who wins the division title.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  Recent acquisition Brock Bosacker seems to have ignited an already hot offense ever further.
Watchability: 4 Poulins.  This game will bear an eerie resemblance to Bret “The Hitman” Hart.

Cobra Kai (7-6) at Gut Rot (4-7-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: With the emergence of Gut Rot’s Gilligan as one of the prime defenders of BTSH, team captain Jefferson has orchestrated a new marketing campaign to hype his teammate.  He notes that no offensive player can possibly escape “Gilligan’s Island” when being marked by the rookie superstar.  Cobra Kai’s Will Kuhns will be the next player stranded on the island.
Eli’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  After viewing Gut Rot’s Hard Knocks special, Dojo captain Enayet “Retail” Rasul was offended by Jefferson’s rampant use of profanity.
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai
Watchability:3 Poulins

Filthy Gorgeous (8-4-0-1) at Happy Little Elves (6-4-0-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-0
Game Notes: Two of the league’s top offenses face off in this Weyersberg Conference affair.  The Elves rank first in goals scored with 55, while Filthy sits in fourth, with 46.  However, Filthy’s offense has slowed in recent weeks, as the team has lost its last two, including a shutout at the hands of the Corlears Hookers two weeks ago.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Even slower than Filthy’s offense? Elves defender Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri.
Watchability: 4 Poulins

La Famiglia (6-7) at Mega Touch (4-8-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: La Famiglia leads 8-5
Game Notes: Although both of these Schumacher Conference teams are currently fourth in their respective divisions, La Famiglia and Mega Touch have both shown some grit in recent weeks.  La Famiglia has won four games in a row, with three coming against Donohue Division opponents.  Their most notable triumph came last week, when Team Ladanyi upset division leader Fresh Kills.  Mega Touch has won its last two games, both of which were against MacNeil Division opponents.
Eli’s Pick: La Famiglia.  Mega Touch is winless outside of its division.
Derek’s Pick: La Famiglia
Watchability: 2 Poulins

Unicorns (4-8) at What The Puck (7-5)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 8-7
Game Notes: This matchup pits two teams that have sputtered for much of the summer.  The Unicorns have lost five games in a row, sending them to the bottom of the Hackett Division.  What The Puck has also lost its last five and has been eliminated from contention for the Rubens Division title.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Someone has to win this game…unless it ends in a tie.
Derek’s Pick: No pick.  Derek will be reffing this game.
Watchability: 3 Poulins

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Tompkins Square Riots (6-6-1) at Gouging Anklebiters (5-8)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: When it comes time for the End of Days, the banking system and electrical grids will collapse, and all society will be reduced to a barter economy. It is then that our worldly possessions that we mindlessly cling to will start to have real value. Until then, however, Anklebiters captain Phil Donohue’s obsession with his plastic Mutant Ninja Turtles placemats will remain as creepy as ever. Hold tight, Phil. Your day is coming.
Vegas Line: Riots by 1
Jesse the Greek says: Anklebiters are scuffling, having lost two straight. Riots and give the point.
Watchability: 3 sets of Truck Nuts

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Poutine Machine (4-7-0-1) at Fresh Kills (8-4-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Fresh Kills is the cougar bar of BTSH, lurking in a strip mall on the outskirts of town, with lots of dark corners and a classic rock cover band. Pace yourself during happy hour, or you’ll find yourself doubled over in the parking lot, trying to remember why that 4th round of shots seemed like such a good idea. Poutine Machine made a splash early on, but are fading with 4 straight Ls.
Vegas Line: Fresh Kills by 1.5
Jesse the Greek says: Give the points
Watchability: 2.5 Twix bars

BTSH Fantasy Pool

(Total points in parentheses)

(10) John Meyer (DR): Courtney (Uni), Ken Poulin (LBS), Gil Valdez (HLE)
(10) James Stein (Sky): Trevor Beauclair (HLE), Jo-Ann Provencher (PM), Justin Ross (FK)
(9) Rich Glanzer (HLE): Alex Derhohannesian (GA), Ryan Nakahara (HLE), Noelle Safar (CH)
(8) Eli Kazin (Math): Denis Miciletto (LF), James Pereira (FG), Noelle Safar (CH)
(8) Dan “D.O.” Owens (FG): Dana Kravis (FG), Justin Ross (FK), Zack Tinkelman (DD)
(7) Derek Tagliarino (Math): Dana Kravis (FG), Denis Miciletto (LF), Mike Pereira (DD)
(6) Eric Devlin (MT): Patrik Blohmé (TSR), Julie Katz (MT), Sunny Mehra (FG)
(6) Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (CH): Trevor Beauclair (HLE), Caroline Currie (FG), Brendan Kearney (CH)
(6) Patrick “Sven” Larsen (PM): Haanwa Chau (GR), Alex Doucette (Reh), James Pereira (FG)
(5) Monica Russo (FG): Gavin Kearney (CH), Dana Kravis (FG), Zack Tinkelman (DD)
(4) Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens (DD): Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli (Reh), Sunny Mehra (FG), Mike Pereira (DD)
(3) “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick (HLE): Trevor Beauclair (HLE), Caroline Currie (FG), Zack Tinkelman (DD)