A Closer Look At The Woodsworth Division

While not known by any one defining characteristic, the Woodsworth Division can best be classified as a traditional group of BTSH teams that pride themselves in their classic styles of play and good sportsmanship.  Teams like What The Puck, Filthy Gorgeous, and the Unicorns harken back to the roots of hockey, emphasizing the team over the individual.  Although the other members of the division have struggled this season, they are also widely recognized for their strong work ethic and the joy for the sport that they bring to every game.

Division Namesake:
Perhaps no one personifies the “old time hockey” menatality of this division better than bilingual What The Puck forward Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth.  His style of play is rooted in fundamentals, his tenacity is unmatched, and he has tremendous respect for the game’s history.  In addition, he has always maintained a modest air and is known for his excellent sportsmanship.

   

Current Standings:
Team	Divisional Record	Overall Record
Filthy Gorgeous	5-0	9-3-1
Unicorns	4-2	8-6
What The Puck	4-2	11-3
Tuques	3-5	4-10
Mathematics	1-2-1-2	3-7-1-3
Mega Touch	0-4-1	3-10-1

Key Upcoming Games:

• Mathematics vs. Filthy Gorgeous (8/9): The first meeting, just a mere three weeks ago, was an overtime thriller.
• Unicorns vs. What The Puck (8/9): The Unicorns handed What The Puck its first loss of the season in week 11.
• Tuques vs. Mega Touch (8/16): Two of the lower ranked teams will look to jumpstart the last part of their seasons.
• Mathematics vs. Unicorns (8/16): In this Hockey Night in Tompkins matchup, the Mathematics seek revenge for a week 2 shootout loss to the Unicorns. 
• Filthy Gorgeous vs. What The Puck (8/23): The two highest scoring teams in the division should put on an offensive showcase.
• Tuques vs. Filthy Gorgeous (9/27): Tuques hockey.

Divisional Traditions:

• Before every home game, the Tuques’ marching band leads the team on to the court and forms a giant T for the team to run through.
• Whenever there is cause for celebration in the Mega Touch community, the players festoon the trees surrounding Tompkins with toilet paper.
• Unicorns players show up to the court a little while before every game.
• Based on a memorable scene in Little Big League, the Mathematics collectively solve a word problem prior every game to sharpen their mental aptitude.
• What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer and Filthy Gorgeous captain Monica Russo place a small wager on every game against each others team.  Zimmer puts up his homemade razzleberry pie against Russo’s handmade jewelry.

Rain Fears Clean Up

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Matt Workman
Team: Filthy Gorgeous
Suggested Nickname: Maestro
Rejected Nicknames: Hard Work, Ashy Matty, Black Pants, Booger
Origin: Berkley, MI
College: Western Michigan University
Early Aspirations: To swim across all five great lakes
First Job: Delivery boy for Little Caesars.
Current Job: Director for Manhattan Concert Productions
Hero: Tim Allen
Reason to Love Him: He sings like an angel.
Reason to Hate Him: We’ve never actually heard him sing.
Fast Fact: While attending Western Michigan, he enjoyed a stint as Buster Bronco, the university mascot.
Favorite Things: Steve Yzerman, Filthy’s 2006 lime green jersey, Dan Cortese, Pontiac
Favorite Peninsula: The Lower Peninsula
Least Favorite Things: Claude Lemieux, the 2008 Detroit Lions, Kennedy, Acura
Best Known For: Pointing out where he’s from on the back of his left hand
Hockey Comparison: Jimmy Carson
Non-Hockey Comparison: Billy Corgan
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Him: His workmanlike style of play
Down the Road: After a long and fruitful BTSH career, Matt moves back to suburban Detroit to puruse his true passion: tools.  With the help of his BTSH companion and fellow Detroit area native, Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker, he produces a regional cable program centered on home improvement.  As the show grows in popularity, Matt begins to invite several of his former Filthy Gorgeous teammates to help out as special guest hosts.  One particularly memorable episode features Matt and “Gentleman” James Pereira competing in a lawnmower race.  Pereira wins after Workman tries to equip his mower with “more power” but destroys the engine in the process.  Hilarity ensues.