Too Close For Comfort

Demons vs. Rehabs

Editors’ Note: We have heard your suggestions loud and clear, so this week, we are proud to debut a new component to our weekly game previews. In addition to the game notes and our picks, we will also include a “watchability” rating to help you decide which games will be the most interesting. Games will be judged on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being “unwatchable” and 5 being “can’t miss.”

GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (8-0-2-2) vs. Rehabs (6-4-0-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 6-5-1
Game Notes: The media are not above embellishing the intensity of a rivalry to promote a storyline.  However, it isn’t hyperbole to say that these teams legitimately do hate each other, and the rift between them continues to grow each time they play.  In their 2008 matchup, the Demons outlasted the Rehabs 3-2 in a bitter week 12 struggle that took both teams to the limits.  Down, but not out, the Rehabs struck the last blow that day by showering the Demons with a barrage of water balloons.  Although the Demons were ready to seek revenge in week 5, forces beyond their control cancelled the game, making this week’s affair their only shot at the Rehabs in 2009.  With all this pent up aggression and frustration ready to be released, someone may leave this game in a body bag.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Rehabs have allowed just 23 goals this season, tying them for second in BTSH.  Despite their struggles over the last few weeks, the defense has remained one of the top shot blocking units in the league.
2. To counter the returns of Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman and Stacy Kehoe to the Rehabs, Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens is reportedly bringing back one of the Demons’ greatest forwards from the past, “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau.
3. In a possible sign of a thaw in relations between these two teams, Mike Pereira of the Demons and Rob Blandi of the Rehabs were spotted having lunch together at an undisclosed (though supposedly trendy) upscale Manhattan eatery.  The bill was split 50-50.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  They’ve lost each of their last five games by one goal and are due for a huge win.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  They have promised to bring Rubens Rock to this game, so you know they’ll be giving 110%.
Watchability: 5 Hacketts

Happy Little Elves (5-6-1) vs. Fresh Kills (5-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: Buoyed by their Barnacle Bowl win, the Happy Little Elves look to sweep their season series with Fresh Kills in this Rubens Division matchup.  As Fresh Kills looks to recapture its championship glory from last season, the team will need to avoid falling too low in the standings.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves.  Now that I’ve picked them, they’ll probably lose.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  This is still mostly the same team that made the miracle playoff run last season and are primed to make another one now.
Watchability: 3 Hacketts

Mega Touch (3-8-1) vs. LBS, Inc. (9-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 8-4
Game Notes: Beginning with the team’s week 8 victory over the Mathematics, LBS, Inc. has reeled off six consecutive wins.  They are now fourth in the overall standings with the second highest goal total.  Mega Touch also enters on a high note, as the team has won its last two games.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc.
Derek’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  This should be a good chance for league scoring leader Karsten Pichon to increase his lead in goals.
Watchability: 1.5 Hacketts

Mexican Standoff (0-11-0-1) vs. Tuques (3-9)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tuques lead 9-3
Game Notes: Despite Standoff’s goose egg in the win column, the team is still playing competitive hockey.  Of their 12 losses, four have been by only one goal and three have been by two goals.  The Tuques have won two of their last three games and are looking to regain their rightful place in the middle of the standings.
Eli’s Pick: Mexican Standoff.  They have to win at some point, right?
Derek’s Pick: Tuques
Watchability: 1 Hackett.  Rehabs-Demons is on at the same time.  Watch that.

Mighty Squirrels (4-7-1) vs. Unicorns (8-4)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 5-1
Game Notes: This game will feature a lot of brown, yellow, and orange…kind of like the late 1970s Padres.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns.  Mustard yellow > chocolate brown.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns
Watchability: 3 Hacketts

Dark Rainbows (10-1-0-1) vs. Sky Fighters (7-5)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-2
Game Notes: When these Schloeder Division rivals last met in week 6, John Nielsen scored all of his team’s goals to lead the Rainbows to a 5-3 victory.  The Rainbows have not lost in regulation since opening day.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Watchability: 3.5 Hacketts.  This rating will drop to 2.5 if Ocho Cinco does not show up.

Gouging Anklebiters (4-7-1) vs. Cobra Kai (2-8-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 4-1
Game Notes: Both of these teams enter this game with a sour taste in their mouths.  Last week, Cobra Kai was 10 seconds away from winning the coveted Barnacle Bowl from the Happy Little Elves before allowing a late goal and ultimately, losing the series on points.  Meanwhile, the Anklebiters were upset by a scrappy Mega Touch team and worse yet, yielded an empty net goal to league hairball, Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer.
Eli’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  Rich Glanzer claims that Dojo forward Colleen Reid may be the best ball handler in BTSH.
Watchability: 1.5 Hacketts

Mathematics (3-5-1-3) vs. Corlears Hookers (8-2-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
Game Notes: Mathematics captain Derek Tagliarino has concocted a fool-proof plan for victory on Sunday.  He has assigned team goon Georgine “Mulva” Paulin with the task of taking the Corlears Hookers out “for a good time” on Saturday night with explicit instructions to keep them up and drinking as late as possible.
Watchability: 2 Hacketts

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS
What The Puck (10-2) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (8-3-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 6:30 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Hockey Night in Tompkins finally gets an intriguing matchup as the leaders of the Woodsworth Division square off this weekend.  What The Puck boasts the top ranked offense in BTSH with 62 goals on the season, while Filthy Gorgeous ranks third with 46.  Both teams feature deep benches with several stars capable of multi-goal games.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  The late start proves beneficial as team cancer Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri will be asleep by then.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  Filthy plays one of the best team games in the league, but in the end, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut just has too much firepower.
Watchability: 4 Hacketts

Media Records:
Eli: 56-25
Derek: 55-28

Survivor Pool

Lourdes Banez (SKY) – LBS, Inc.
Adriano Bratta (WTP) – LBS, Inc.
Ben Chadwick (HLE) – LBS, Inc.
Steve Chernoski (DD) – Corlears Hookers
Rich Glanzer (HLE) – Corlears Hookers
Amy Lott (SKY) – Corlears Hookers
Hector Melendez (REH) – LBS, Inc.
John Meyer (DR) – LBS, Inc.
Robert Muggeo (HLE) – Unicorns
Sean Reynolds (DR) – Tuques
Bryan Welch (REH) – LBS, Inc.

Eliminated
Eric Breitman (MSQ) – Week 12
Gavin Kearney (CH) – Week 12
Nestor Nonato (GA) – Week 12
Georgine Paulin (MATH) – Week 12
Bob Weyersberg (FK) – Week 12
Phil Donohue (GA) – Week 13
Robert Gorden (MSQ) – Week 13
Dave Ladanyi (TUQ) – Week 13

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6 Responses to Week 14 Preview

  1. hacksaw says:

    T3H D3M0NZ H4V3 N0TH1NG 8UT R3$P3CT 4 T3H R3H48$, & P4RT1CULRLY 4 T3H1R * PL4Y3R, $H0WT1M3!!!!!!11!!!!1!1!L0LOMGWTFBBQ

  2. legendkiller says:

    What The Puck has a deep bench? Tell that to the one female that showed up for their game last week.

  3. HockeyRich says:

    Today boys and girls we’re going to learn the meaning of the word, “Segue.” (hope I’m spelling it right)

    Media, I never would have said that the Cobra Kai girl is the best stickhandler in the league…because obviously the best stickhandler is none other than Mr. $howtime!

    Speaking of $how (Segue alert!!) The Elves/Fresh Kills game just got another Hackett as $how and the Elves are joining forces!! He’s going to play goal for us.

  4. devlin13 says:

    people were really clamoring for this “watchability index” eh?

  5. showtime says:

    You have heard right. $h0wT!m3 and H0ck3y R!cH ( Have to add the Elves ) have joined forces to take on the 2008 Champion Fresh Kills.

    Best Stick Handler $h0wT!m3, Thanks R!cH

  6. showtime says:

    Also …. Hacksaw, Thanks!

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