What The Puck Needs To Rest Up

GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (9-2-0-1) vs. LBS, Inc. (9-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 7-4
Game Notes: What The Puck and LBS, Inc. currently sit in a tie for second place, only one point behind the Corlears Hookers.  Both teams feature similar gameplans, as they each have small rosters comprised almost entirely of stars.  Three players on What The Puck (Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth, Corey “Chongo” Winters, and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer) now have double-digit goals, while Karsten Pichon of LBS, Inc. leads the league with fifteen.  In addition, both teams rely on consistent goaltending as a solid base to their explosive offenses.  What The Puck’s Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz registered his first shutout of the season last week, while Seth Wachtell of LBS, Inc. has won all three of his starts since being reassigned to the mail room.  The winner of this game will be one step closer to locking up a high seed in the playoffs.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite missing a fair number of games, Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman remains one of What The Puck’s top offensive threats, as he now has eight goals on the season…one for each of the stripes on his socks.
2. After serving a five game suspension, the self-proclaimed “cleanest player in BTSH”, Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin now has eight goals as well.  He and his linemate Karsten will look to demonstrate why they were named the media’s Best Duo of 2007
3. What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has put a bounty on the head of former teammate and current LBS, Inc. player, Erica Lee.  He explains, “You’re either with us or against us…and if you’re against us, it’s your ass.”
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  They’ve been playing with a lot more focus since they went corporate, which can only be attributed to CEO Sascha Puritz’s “no suspensions” policy of professional conduct.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  If they can get full attendance, they can run with anyone.  Plus, team cancer Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri will once again be out with a strained white beard, so that can only help them.

Tuques (4-7) vs. Cobra Kai (3-8-1)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 2-0
Game Notes: Cobra Kai’s first ever franchise win came against the Tuques in 2006…and that’s when Dutch was on the Tuques!
Eli’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  Adriano Bratta leads the way as the Dojo continues their mastery of the Tuques.
Derek’s Pick: Tuques

Gouging Anklebiters (3-9) vs. Rehabs (6-4-1-1)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 6-1
Game Notes: The Rehabs have now lost their last three games, all by one goal.  The Anklebiters, on the other hand, have recovered from an 0-7 start with three wins in their last five games.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  Although the trends seem to favor the Anklebiters in this one, they won’t have the horsepower to take down the Rehabs.

Fresh Kills (6-5-0-1) vs. Bad Touch (1-10-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 5-2
Game Notes: Fresh Kills sharpshooter Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg has vowed to do a choreographed dance routine in celebration of his next goal.  Sadly, this game will use regulation size goals, so that event is highly unlikely.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills

Happy Little Elves (1-10-1) vs. Unicorns (7-5)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: This game will be the final leg of the triangular series among the Happy Little Elves, Unicorns, and Dark Rainbows to determine this year’s winner of the (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.  A Unicorns win, tie, or shootout loss will clinch the cup for them.  Although the Happy Little Elves are mathematically eliminated, they can still play spoiler with a (non-shootout) win.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns.  They have very quiety won four games in a row.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns.  Craig “Ug” LaCombe is declared the MVP of the tournament and is the first to hoist the (imaginary) cup over his head.

Mighty Squirrels (7-1-3) vs. Dark Rainbows (8-3-1)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-0
Game Notes: These teams last faced off in a hotly contested 2007 first round playoff game.  Although the Mighty Squirrels came up just short to the eventual BTSH champions, they were the only team to score a goal on the Rainbows during the postseason.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows
Derek’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels.  The Squirrels are starting to have an eerie resemblance to a certain 2007 BTSH squad that wore pink.

Mathematics (3-9) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (7-4-1)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 2-0
Game Notes: The Mathematics want to send Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi off to grad school with a win in his final BTSH game.  Although he would like to continue to play, it takes too long to bike from Cal-Berkeley to Corlears Hook Park to make this feasible.

Mexican Standoff (1-8-2-1) vs. Sky Fighters (6-5)
Location: Corlears South, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 6-1
Game Notes: In a cunning move orchestrated by captain Amy Lott, Sky Fighters standout Martin Cejka did not play in the All-Star Game last week to prevent Mexican Standoff goalie Randy Locklair from scouting him.  The Sky Fighters did, however, allow team stud Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker to play, as there’s nothing to scout on him, aside from his chiseled good looks.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Another brilliant strategy by Amy Lott.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters

Corlears Hookers (10-1) vs. Denim Demons (7-0-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
Game Notes: Despite the Corlears Hookers’ imprssive record and current first place standing, public relations director Albert “Al” Huang seems intimidated by the uppity Demons.  He notes, “We stand abosolutely no chance in this game.  Although our squad is kind of decent, the Denim Demons are juggernauts.  Besides, I have a bad feeling that most of my teammates’ minds are on their upcoming vacations.  Did you know that Dutch’s Brother is traveling to Indo-China?”
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  This could be the biggest upset of the season.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  They’re a scrappy team, and they may just pull this one out.

Media Records:
Eli: 65-29
Derek: 63-31