Can Filthy Make It Seven?

GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (7-4) at Denim Demons (7-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-2-1
Game Notes: Rubens Division rivals face off for the first time this season with just one point separating them in the standings.  Filthy Gorgeous had a horrendous start to the 2011 season, winning just one of its first five games.  However, sparked by the return of “Gentleman” James Pereira, the team has gone on a tear, reeling off six consecutive victories.  During this streak, the team has scored 25 of its 30 goals on the season, with Pereira and his linemate, Suvin “The Guru” Malik accounting for 17 of them.  Despite being back to back regular season champions, the Denim Demons have very quietly assumed first place in the Rubens Division.  However, it will be tough for them to maintain this standing, as they can look forward to one of the toughest remaining schedules in the league.  All seven games left on their docket are against Weyersberg Conference teams, including four divisional games.  The Demons’ first challenge will be this weekend against a rejuvenated Filthy Gorgeous.
Keys To The Game:
1. After being swept by the Demons in 2010, Filthy Gorgeous will be looking for vengeance and retribution.  To motivate her squad, captain Monica Russo has forced the team to watch the broadcast of the New Orleans Saints’ Super Bowl victory.  She has also promised that, much like Drew Brees, she will lead the team in pre-game barking.
2. 2009’s leader in goals against, Aaron “Coach” Pagdon has been the backbone of the Demons.  He has recorded three shutouts this season, including one in the Demons’ last game.  These shutouts have been even more crucial than in past seasons, as all three came in one-goal games.
3. This will be the first time that Filthy’s “Gentleman” James Pereira and Joe Pereira face off against the Demons’ Mike Pereira since the three won the Best Family award last season.  Family members are already taking sides, as cousins Cletus, Merle, and Billy Ray have always been ardent Filthy Gorgeous supporters, while cousins Winston, Reginald, and Preston have always been Demons boosters.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Make it seven.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  The Demons have been doing it with smoke and mirrors so far, and Filthy is too hot to stop right now.
Watchability: 4 DiProsperos.  At worst, the winner of this game will have a share of first place in the Rubens Division.

Butchers (6-4-1) at Tompkins Square Riots (2-9)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: If it feels like these two Donohue Division teams just played each other, it’s because they just did in last week’s Hockey Night in Tompkins regional telecast.  Ben Bloom and “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis each chipped in two goals in the Butchers’ 6-4 win, but the biggest goal of the game was scored by Amanda Jenkins, who broke a 4-4 tie with 4:30 remaining in regulation.
Eli’s Pick: Butchers.  I’ll just assume that since they won last week, they’ll win again this week.
Derek’s Pick: Butchers
Watchability: 3 DiProsperos

Unicorns (6-3-0-2) at Gouging Anklebiters (3-8)
Written by Donohue Division correspondent Monica Russo
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 8-4-1
Game Notes: Unicorns lead 8-4-1? I am not necessarily so good at these kinds of things, but does that mean they have played each other 13 times? [Ed: Yes!] Dang. And being that most of these folks have been in the league that entire time, I don’t really think there’s anything I can say about these two teams that they don’t already know. Though both teams have similar numbers of goals for, the Unicorns’ goal differential speaks for itself. However, this annoys me, because checking their goal differentials forced me to check my own team’s goal differential, and, seriously? -2? What the freaking hell? Anyway, GAB is not a team to be scoffed at. If anything, the power of their collective loud-ass voices is enough to distract Craigory and the Unis for at least a goal or two.
Monica’s Pick: I’m reffing this game, you irresponsible jackasses. You couldn’t have picked me another one?

Sky Fighters (7-2-1-1) at Mathematics (4-5-1-1)
Written by MacNeil Division correspondent Sven Larsen
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 3-0
Game Notes: What’s dorkier? A team named after the good guys’ spaceships from STAR WARS or a team of self described Mathletes? The answer wouldn’t normally be an issue in our hipster-founded league, but this week it could be a game changer. Because this is Harry Potter premiere and Comicon week and the key to the game may be which team loses more players to early flights out to the West Coast for Nerd Prom (or marathon viewings of the whole HP series). Eli “the Calculator” Kazin and his squad may seem like the more obvious choices, but informed sources tell me that the Czech core of the Sky Fighters’ team are also secretly part of one of the country’s foremost Klingon rock bands. Let’s throw Math captain Derek a bone and talk hockey for a second. The Sky Fighters are among the league’s elite and have been struggling to score lately. But last week’s 1-0 triumph over Fresh Kills was definitely a case of an injured team gutting it out. Meanwhile Math all-star Andy Pratt seems to have found the scoring touch he’s been missing all year and the greyshirts’ 3-1 victory over the Rainbows was the upset of the week. With one team rounding in to form and the other team struggling with mid-season injuries and absenteeism, this will be a much closer game than anyone is expecting. If both teams show up (and no one is asking “what would Captain Picard do?”) this should be one of the week’s more hard fought matches.
Sven’s Pick: An extremely tight Sky Fighters win. Math is a team to watch but it’s going to be hard for them to match the emotional intensity of last week’s win.
Watchability: 3 1/2 Horcruxes

Gut Rot (1-10) at Corlears Hookers (7-4)
Written by Rubens Division correspondent Abby “Tayne” Meisterman
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Abby is celebrating Bastille Day. Preview coming soon…

Rehabs (3-6-0-2) at Happy Little Elves (5-4-0-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 5-2
Game Notes: These Rubens Division opponents have already faced off this season, with the Rehabs emerging victorious in Week 6 by a 7-5 final score.  Three of the Rehabs’ goals were scored by Unicorn Joe Polowczuk, who was inexplicably allowed to play by the Elves’ power structure.  Howevver, Polowczuk’s status for this game is doubtful, even though he is expected to play in his own game earlier in the day.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  Their offense is clicking into gear, and they’ve been sound defensively all season.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. If they keep Joe off the court, they should be fine.
Watchability: 3.5 DiProsperos

Dark Rainbows (5-5-0-1) at Fresh Kills (7-3-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 7-4
Game Notes: What began as an extremely promising season for the Dark Rainbows has quickly turned to mud.  After starting the season 4-0 and earning points in their first six games, the Rainbows have gone on a monumental losing skid with five straight losses.  This week, they will try to right the ship against Hackett Division foe Fresh Kills, whom they defeated 3-2  in the second week of the season on the strength of P.T. Walkley’s two goals.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  I’m expecting a full roster this time, not last week’s skeleton squad.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows.  I’ll chalk their losing streak up to bad luck, because this team still has potential to be one of the league’s elite.
Watchability: 3.5 DiProsperos

Cobra Kai (4-5-1-1) at La Famiglia (7-1-1-2)
Written by La Famiglia beat reporter Rich Glanzer
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 4-2-1
Game Notes: The Tuques will return with a hero’s welcome to Tuques Arena, when they face Cobra Kai this Sunday. After getting booed out of their own place against the Sky Fighters, the Tuques played an inspired game (from what I can tell reading the box score) to beat league-leading What The Puck. All the goals must have been legit, as Anthony Romeo didn’t even put any of the goals he gave up on his Facebook. Cobra Kai is coming off a tough loss to the two-time Presidents’ Cup champs, the Denim Demons.
Rich’s Prediction: While the Tuques may be favored by Jesse the Greek, this isn’t a team they can take lightly. Peter Lang looked very sharp in the net, and his girlfriend blocked six Demons shots (I reffed the game, it’s an approximation). But in the end, the Tuques will keep on their winning ways, and this time send their team home happy. Expect a 5-2 victory for the Tuques, and a plus 2 rating and an assist from Brian Ferry!

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
What The Puck (8-2-0-1) at LBS, Inc. (7-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 8-7
Game Notes: We’re past the halfway point in the BTSH season, and there is a tremendous amount of parity in the league. Eleven of the 20 teams are separated by just 4 points, and the race for a top playoff seed (and the chance to get knocked out by Wichita State or Valparaiso) is on. Big week for the Corporation, which has rebounded from a slow start to pull within 2 of division-leading WTP. Les Grandes Oranges, however, lead the league in goals scored, which is often cited as a causative factor in number of games won.
Vegas Line: What the Puck by 1
Jesse the Greek says: Take the points. LBS. in an upset.
Watchability: 4 carat Kardashian engagement ring

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Mega Touch (3-7-1) at Poutine Machine (7-2-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Poutine Machine leads 3-1
Game Notes: Mega Touch is one of those teams that makes you wonder what the individual players are called. Touchers? Grabbers? How about Photo Hunters? Whatever you call them, the honeymoon is over for their big-time free agent signing, Adriano Bratta. The sometime commissioner has put up good numbers this season, but that hasn’t translated to many wins, and he seems distracted, perhaps by his league administrative responsibilities, or maybe last year’s embarrassing nip-slip at the Johnson’s is weighing on him. Poutine Machine, meanwhile, keeps rolling along, gorging themselves (to the tune of 4-0-1) on division opponents, with the 3rd-best goal differential in the league. Barring a huge collapse, they are a lock for one of the top 4 seeds. No change in that this week.
Vegas Line: Poutine by 2.5
Jesse the Greek says: It’s a lot of points to give, but it’s hard to see the Photo Hunters keeping this one close.
Watchability: 3 Vienna Sausages