The Demons Have More Fans Than You

As per tradition, the Denim Demons once again hosted their annual “Demons Family Day” this past Sunday.  All players on the team were highly encouraged to invite their families for some good, clean Demons hockey.  Thus, the West Court dugouts were packed with red, as the honored guests  witnessed the Demons defeat the defending champion Sky Fighters 1-0  in a spirited Hockey Night in Tompkins national telecast.  This marked the second consecutive shutout for the Demons on Family Day, who also beat Cobra Kai 2-0 in 2009.

With record attendance and several family members making lengthy treks to reach the game, the event was viewed as a huge success.  Notable attendees included frequent btsh.org commenter Joe “Twinkle Toes” Tinkelman, Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’ mother, the Carsons, and Abby “Tayne” Meisterman’s moms.  Rubens’ mother even donned a throwback Adam Rubens jersey to support her wonderful son.  She noted, “…the way my son took down the Sky Fighters, he truly is a legend killer!”

Johnsons Olympics Returns!

By Phil “Sandy” Donohue

She’s back: the loudest, lewdest, most memorable party in BTSH lore returns to the Johnsons this Sunday.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the legendary Johnsons Olympics is back. Already, people are speculating on who will be this year’s champions. What will it take to win the 2010 hot legs competition? In which orifice will someone have a cupcake shoved this time? Will someone be brave enough to once again down the bar mat shot? Answers to these questions and more can only be answered this Sunday at the Johnsons.

The line-up includes old-time favorites such as the hot dog eating competition, the PBR chugging competition, mens & womens arm wrestling, and bar napkin love poems. Plus, all new events brought to you by bartender Brent Smith, MC Craig LaCombe, Party Master Peaches, Johnsons Poet Laureate Amy Lott, Booze Berry Temptress Amy and your humble author.

More details later in the week. Be ready to call out on Monday.

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Ellen M.
Team: Butchers
(Self) Suggested Nickname: Scrappie
Rejected Nicknames: Sugar Tits, Hot Pants, Smellen, The Cleaver
Origin: Allentown, PA
College: Saint Joseph’s University
Early Aspirations: To conquer her fear of riding the Thunderhawk at Dorney Park
Current Aspirations: To supplant Georgine “Mulva” Paulin as top goon of the Butchers
First Job: Egg incubator at the Allentown Fish Hatchery
Current Job: Public Relations Guru for Arrojo
Hero: Billy Joel
Reason to Love Her: She’s naive enough to think a profile on btsh.org might get someone dates…actually this one might work.
Reason to Hate Her: She drove a Suburu Outback in high school…and we’re guessing like all Outback drivers, she did it poorly.
Best Known For: Her gold hot pants
Fast Fact: Butchers teammate Amanda Jenkins does not give Ellen any hairstyling discounts, even though they work together.
Favorite Things: Facebook, A-Treat soda, Philadelphia Eagles, rugby
Favorite Dance: The Dougie
Least Favorite Things: Listening to people’s dreams, Dallas Cowboys, mornings, dressing conservatively
Hockey Comparison: Dan Carcillo
Non-Hockey Comparison: The Walt Whitman Bridge
Things The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Her: Her noticeable presence at EVT, which often includes cowbells
Down the Road: Ellen finishes second to Mega Touch’s Joe Lops (and his amazing calves) in the 2010 Sharif Corinaldi Memorial Hot Legs Competition at the Johnsons Olympics.  Other contestants include Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette, Rob “Mungo” Gorden, Rich Glanzer, Amy Kovner, Shafiq “Off Black” Perry, Marcus Bonnee, Amy Lott, Adam Skuse, and Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown (who comes in dead last).