By Rachel Greene

Instant Karma vs Butchers
I hate to get all Glanzer and write an entire post about Ben Chadwick and myself…but, like Glanzer, I am going to do it whether you like it or not (just with better grammar and fewer wrestling references). So Ben and I win a lot together, at trivia, gardening, local farm-share veggies, jump starting each other’s cars. But this Sunday, we can’t both be winners. Last week Karma fell out of first place, handing Gut Rot their first win of the season. Mike (Karma’s official goalie) has been lights out this season, but Pete’s been finding the back of a lot of nets. Also: Jimmy.   Ben, you might win in height and Mensa, but I’m going to wager a 6 pack on my Butchers.

Prediction: Butchers by 1, let’s split the series.

Gouging Anklebiters vs Sky Fighters
Whether it comes from the ‘Biters or the Fighters bench, you’ll here ‘c’mon Mike’ from one of the sidelines. I really just want to see Infanti and Marko smile at each other. (Has anyone ever taught them to score more and smile less? Regardless, they both make me smile a lot, without scoring much.) Stein is back in net for the Fighters after an injury/Netflix binge hiatus and will be test often by Derho and Hanson (they’re not going to take it easy on him).

Prediction: Biters take this one from their former division rivals 3-2.

Poutine Machine vs Mega Touch

I should probably fact check, but I’m pretty sure this is the best season start Mega has ever had (I mean really, is Hanson going to tell me I’m wrong?). Poutine is trying to dig themselves out of an early season hole, but can’t seem to consistently score more goals than the other team (I’m told that’s how you win a game). If Brady and Adriano are feeling it, I don’t think Poutine’s all-star keeper can stop ‘em. And if it goes to a shootout their definitely not stopping Katz.

Prediction: Mega by 1, git it!

Filthier vs Cobra Kai

Wait, did Dennis move to Canada? Man, we always lose the good ones to Canada (he’s not even Canadian!!). I, for one, will miss his absurd (now faded) floral shorts, excellent hot toddy recipe, amazing wife and Tom Cruise-on-Oprah’s-Couch celebrations. I will not miss him scoring on me, though. But I’m sure Sunni, Shaq, James and crew can make up for it. Jenks, you better hold up some staunch defense back there and stop bragging about all the goals you score from D…this team is coming at you hard. Liam, Pete, Rachels, do your sometimes-teammate proud and find those seldom shown holes Tim K gives up.

Prediction: Filthy by 1, with or without Den.

LBS, Inc. vs Gremlins
Big question here…which team will Luke play on? I’m going to go ahead and say that decides the winner. You know what I’d really like to see? I’d like to check Facebook Monday morning and see Cherie post some love to Jamie after he shuts her down. Oh yeah, Cherie is on the Pounds now (everyone who has to play them this season collectively sighs and hangs heads). Rookie Alex, you better hope a bee stings Tim Brown. He’s not letting much in these days.

Prediction: LBS by 3 and look for Scott to over-celebrate a hatty.

Math at Fuzz
Didn’t this just happen? Who makes the schedule here? It really seems like Math had a lot of fun last time!! Then again, not all of Fuzz had fun either. I would think that Fuzz would be relieved not to play against Cherie, but then they went ahead and pissed off Michelle. Personally, I wouldn’t mess with that. I’m not sure I want to watch this game; I get very upset when my common law husband loses his shit. I am somewhat looking forward to the part of the game where it all goes to hell and Amy and Alyssa becomes good friends talking nonsense while Newman (fails to) calm it down.

Prediction: Ewing Theroy holds true and Math rights the ship and stun Fuzz 4-2.

Portugal at France 
By Isaac

The stage has been set for the European Championship Final.  France stormed past Germany, and just about everyone else in their way, to enter the final and will face a Portugal team that has had to claw their way to get here.  Led by La Liga Superstar, Ronaldo, Portugal has been resilient and patient throughout the tournament; cleverly picking their scoring chances and baiting opposing countries into making bad decision.  Meanwhile, France has played with the discipline and poise that champions are made of.  And they’ll need it if they plan on outlasting Portugal and taking home the 2016 EURO CUP. 

Prediction: France doesn’t get fooled by Portugal’s trickery and wins the Final by 3-1.

Denim Demons at Fresh Kills
Hey, BTSH!  Did you know that the Fresh Kills now not only have an eponymously named Staten Island landfill, but ALSO a bar in Williamsburg? Sorry. It was big news to me. Who knew they were so upwardly mobile? Now the Demons, they’ve had a lot of change this year…the looming questions is, which direction are they headed? Staten Island landfill or Williamsburg bar? Follow up question: which is worse?

Prediction: So Fresh by 2, upwardly mobile.

Tompkins Square Riots vs What The Puck
These two teams are duking it out should be a fun one for all of us to watch. Keys to the game: WTP needs to stop Suz crazy scoring, keep Sharif’s pants on and somehow contain Laura MacNeil’s excitement. Actually not the last one, it’s too much fun to watch. Also important, do not let the Tompkins Square Hawk eat Camden. TSR needs to keep Mike’s wings in check and hope that Corey doesn’t appear again.

Prediction: Riots by 2, Joe and Suz can’t be stopped.

Dark Rainbows vs Gut Rot
By Isaac

What do we have here?  Ah, yes!  A battle of formerly-known-as-Green Division heavyweights!

Last week Gut Rot enjoyed their first taste of victory this season and are thirsty for more.  The Rainbows on the other hand have come back down to earth after enjoying early season success against some of the formerly-known-as-Katz Division teams.  Both have been trending Sideways recently and this contest will decide which course of direction they are now headed in. Abby vs Tommy!  Longwell vs Nitschxe!  Candy Corns vs Crack!  Game on!

Prediction: Gut Rot gets on a roll with their second W in as many games, 3-1. 

Rehabs vs Corlears Hookers
We at the media (and anyone else listening) has heard a lot lately about the Rehabs being ‘for real.’ If the Hookers bring a legit squad this week, it might just be the week to test that theory. Otherwise it might more similar to Kirkham yelling about drones during the State of the Union. The more I think about it, screw the game…I just want to hand Kirkham a six pack and point him towards Cro and his stupid hat.

Prediction: Rehabs by 2, man I hate that hat.