Italians Dress Funny

Third Star: Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia. Miciletto padded his lead in the scoring race with another two goals. His game-winner with 3:30 remaining in regulation time clinched La Famiglia’s first ever victory against What The Puck.
Second Star: Andy Pratt, Mathematics. One day after his birthday, Pratt scored his first two goals of the season in the Mathematics’ win against the Dark Rainbows. In addition, he also celebrated his son’s second birthday on Sunday with a party in Tompkins.
First Star: Mike Nagin, Rehabs. Nagin tallied a hat trick to lead the Rehabs in their upset of the Corlears Hookers. Like Pratt, Nagin also entered this game with no goals on the season.

Shaun deLacy GAA Watch

This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.

Goals Allowed This Week: 5 (vs. Filthy Gorgeous)
Goals Allowed Previously: 26
Goals Allowed This Season: 31
Games Played: 10
Goals Against Average: 3.10
Next Opponent: Rehabs (2.36 goals per game)

Shaun’s goals against average took a major hit this week, after he allowed five goals to Filthy Gorgeous.  As a result of this poor showing, his GAA is now above three goals per game with only seven regular season games remaining.  This week, he will face a Rehabs offense that has struggled throughout the season, but has found new life with 12 goals in the last two weeks.

Know Your Neigbhor

Name: Amy Barrett
Team: Gouging Anklebiters
Suggested Nickname: Salty
Rejected Nicknames: Grandmaster A, Virginia Slim, A-Train, The Hand
Origin: Virginia Beach, VA
College: James Madison University
Quote: “I’m black for street hockey!”
First Job: Babysitter for “The Masterpiece” Ashley McMasters
Current Job: Veterinary Technician at Newport Animal Hospital
Current Accomplishments: She was chosen as a defender for the media’s 2010 All-BTSH 2nd Team.
Current Failures: She and Jesse Kalb were unsuccessful as coaches for the 2010 Schumacher Conference all-stars.
Hero: Dr. Dolittle
Reason to Love Her: Her famous chocolate-covered Booze Berries
Reason to Hate Her: She cheats.
Best Known For: As a team leader of the Anklebiters for several seasons, she proudly hangs the team flag before every game.
Fast Fact: She came in second place in the 1992 Hampton Roads Science Fair, losing to a promising young physicist named Sharif Corinaldi.
Favorite Things: Commonwealths, Starship Troopers, the Neptune Festival, hazing rookies
Favorite Pepperidge Farm Cookie: Chesapeake
Least Favorite Things: West Virginia, Double Secret Probation, hurricanes, George Mason
Hockey Comparison: Hal Gill
Non-Hockey Comparison: Wonder Woman
Things The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Her: She perennially wins the women’s arm-wrestling tournament at the Johnson’s Olympics.
Down the Road: No longer satisfied with the level of competition in the women’s arm-wrestling event, Amy throws her hat into the men’s draw at the next Johnson’s Olympics.  In the first round, she easily defeats What The Puck’s Brock “Butters” Bosacker, because he’s little.  In the second round, she eliminates Fresh Kills’ Scott Lee, who can’t seem to finish her off.  In the third round, she outmuscles Mega Touch’s Eric Devlin, who wasn’t quite sure why he was in the competition in the first place.  Finally, she loses to the Denim Demons’ David Kenneth Fraser in the semi-finals.  Fraser goes on to win the entire tournament, becoming the undisputed strongest player in BTSH, to go along with his title of undisputed fastest player.