BTSH Logobtsh.org
← Back to Media

Week 11 Previews – Part 1

What The Puck at Gremlins
by Isaac

Pucks find themselves in the unfortunate time of the season when many of their own trade in the fight for glory for the lazy beach with frozen drinks.  With the lead for tops in their division hanging in the balance week to week Emily and Susie must keep their troops engaged by bring the refreshments to the sidelines.  Do this and Justin, Noah and Co. will show.

Gremlins are in a battle of their own for tops in their division and each shift without Cody, Busch, or Sherwood sends shivers down Jamie’s spine.  Luckily for him his bosom buddy and trusted defender is back from his latest Walk-a-bout (which consisted of pacing in place while wearing VR goggles) and thirsty for action.  

Prediction: Gremmies have been resilient this season and will win this contest 4-2.

Corlears Hookers at Dark Rainbows
by Isaac

Early in the off-season Brian C. set forth his plan to rebuild the Hookers by poaching members of the Dark Rainbows.  Roberts, Klion, Ling, Fleming and goalie Longwell were all promised roster spots and plenty of minutes on the new Hookers.  Only after submitting their transfer forms to the league office for approval were they informed that 4 spots really only meant 1*.  Leaving three of them BTSH homeless…

*You see, in Cro-country when one is asked how many alcoholic beverages they’ve consumed they divide by 4.  For instance, Brian should never be allowed to ref a game if he’s had 3 or more.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

So, as per league rules, because the Hookers were home wreckers the Rainbows may borrow any subs they choose without prior permission.  That means we’ll get treated to a Cherie-Ariel-Tia line with Gabe-Cat on defense (Psst!  Gabe, you’ll enjoy partnering with Cat, but Soko better not get any ideas.) and Pear-Probie-Wilson with Roman-Abby backing them up.  It’ll be tremendous.  Really great.

Prediction: the Rainbows get their chance at revenge without reinforcements and come up short against their old teammates.  Hookers take this one 4-1.

Filthier at Sky Fighters
by Isaac

Filthier may not be the toast of the league anymore, but they are still highly respected.  Not far removed from drinking from the PBR Cup, it is still Champions blood that courses through the veins of these lethal assassins.  You may not think of defense when you think of Filthy, but you sure do think of Ann.  

As well regarded as their opponent might be, the Sky Fighters are no slouches.  Fresh off her game winning heroics, Webster has got the confidence to face any foe.  While Roman and Greg roll their eyes in the face of any fancy-pants challenger.  The Sky Fighters might bend from time to time, but they hardly ever break. 

Prediction: Suvin hulks out with a hat trick and helps Filthy narrowly escape the clutches of defeat by 4-3 in OT.

Mathematics at Fuzz, 2:15 pm
by JW

Question: Without Derek around, is the Math/Fuzz friendly rivalry still intact?
Answer: As long as Eli, Rich, and the Norrises are still around, yes……yes it is.

Last season, these two teams played an intense back-to-back, with each team getting a win. Now, they match up again and the constant desire to best each other still burns bright.

And we’re the three best friends that anyone could have.

So, what will happen this time around?  Will Rich and Sam argue over something? (Yes, probably multiple things.) Will Zach laugh at them both for arguing? (Almost certainly.) Will Sam score a goal? (Probably.)  Will Rich score a goal (Highly unlikely.)  Will Walsh injure his knee? (It’s probably already injured.) Will Eli be rooting for Fuzz? (I can’t imagine a scenario in which he doesn’t.) Will Alyssa be the nicest player on the rink? (Not if Michelle has anything to say about it.) Will Coach run to center to take a face-off again? (I hope so.) Will Sarah H. be lost without Steph C.? (We all will.)

Keys to the Game: Hicks’ beard. Is he going to go full Brent Burns with that thing, or what?

(This is the only key to the game.)

Becky told me (and all of us) here: https://www.btsh.org/bruise/welcome-back-becky-norris/  that one of her goals upon returning from Cambodia is to beat Fuzz. She has her first chance this Sunday in what I would normally say is hands down the game of the week. However, apparently very few of the people I mentioned above will even be there on Sunday, so maybe stay in and rearrange your sock drawer, instead.

Poutine Machine at Instant Karma
by Guest Writer

Former pin-up model, but current Mr. July, Hornswoggle lives for the sizzle of the courts during this summer month.  For this is the time of the season that when the going gets hot, he and Poutine gets biz-zay.  Their new goalie is unproven in BTSH, but no stranger to the balls of street hockey.  

Cocky bastards.

Karma on the other hand has had difficulty withstanding the heat this season.  The pressures of keeping pace with offensively strong teams has frustrated them at times.  Ben and Brianna have been discussing changing up lines and assignments and could be unveiling a new-look Karma for the second half season push.  

Prediction: this game is a nail-bitter from beginning to end, but Teddy’s D protects their house and Poutine eeks out another victory by 1.

← Back to Media