Instant Karma at Tompkins Square Riots
Players to Watch Out For
Karma – when Heather’s not chasing ambulances or stroking Steven’s ego she’s delivering bone-crushing checks to opponents in the neutral zone. Her appetite for bloody marys makes her one of the fiercest defensive forwards in all the league.
Riots – rumor has it that Katie has had this game circled on her calendar since the schedule game out. She’s no fan of injustice justice which makes her the oxymoron of the team with her faith unfaithful that keeps her falsely true to the game.
Prediction: Karma’s red-headed goon sets the tone early by taking out Big Bank Vanck, but Kevin Z and Margot respond with two quick goals to close out the first half. The second half is tug of war for possession, but Matt S gets caught admiring his own reflection in Dan’s goggles as Suz buries the game winner for the Riots, 3-2.
Fuzz at Gouging Anklebiters
By Jean Ralphio Saperstein
It’s no secret that Fuzz has had a tough season so far, and there’s rumors that they paid off the Parks Dept to turf over our beloved blacktop to ‘end this disastrous Fuzz season’, as one anonymous team member commented on the BTSH facebook page. While they aren’t winning on the field they’re winning off the field (re: Glanzer’s pro poker success, Walsh bought some serious real estate). Let’s see if they can transfer that winning energy to the blacktop. Rich claims to know Probie’s ~move~ and how to stop it, despite quite literally having 1 leg to stand on. It’s a bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.
Speaking of Probie- who definitely wrote the old school-new school article and is also the wo0o0o0rst- apparently has a pregame ritual of sleeping with his hockey stick the night before a game. Tbh sounds unsanitary but if you score that much I guess you can do whatever you want. The Biters have a 2 v 1 offensive game they like to constantly run, which should be interesting to see matched up against Fuzz, who has some veterans on defense that won’t fall for the ol’ razzle dazzle. Fuzz also shouldn’t sleep on the Biters ladies, who’ve led them to some clutch OT victories.
IN SUMMARY: Fuzz has better defense than offense, Biters have better offense than defense.
It will be a tight match but Fuzz will prevail with a 2-1 victory.
Gremlins at Denim Demons
By Janice Ian
The Gremlins are one of the more chill teams in the league while the Demons are, well, “”””””league sweethearts”””””. Regardless, it should be a good match. Fire and Ice, hotheaded skill vs cool as a cucumber skill. Salt and Pepper. Cats and Dogs. People who can handle off-court heckling vs people who tell you to ‘drop the gloves’. Those who are really funny in the media (Tracy) vs those who make bad 80’s puns (Walker). I’m running out of opposites to list but you get the picture.
Real talk this should be a good matchup. The ladies on each team are tenacious (looking at you, Marcella and Jenn). The forwards on each attack quickly and in constantly formation. While the Demons are a well oiled offensive machine that doesn’t stop once it starts scoring, the Gremlins (in a bit of a scoring drought) have the Demons beat on defense. The goalies, well, sorry, but Jamie has the market cornered on this matchup. The real question is, will the Gremlins lose their cool? Or will they stay calm under the red hot pressure of the Demons? Tune in on Sunday to find out!
Tight and potentially physical, the game goes into OT 2-2 and the Gremlins snag the W.
Corlears Hookers at Filthier
Fun Facts for the Game of the Week
Tiffany and Sarah are ridiculously good. So good that writing good puts them in the running for the Underrated Award. Perhaps we should start rating them a little higher or use our Word doc thesaurus to define them gooder.
Speaking of good, that pairing of Ann and James are Filthy’s equivalent of Underrated good. Danilo will need to provide Dustin with backside support when that good duo is out for a shift.
Prediction: the crowd marvels at Tim K’s display of good, however, the Hookers good defense and depth earn them the upset, 3-2.