Everyone Loves The Denim Demons

As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we the writers thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:

1. As expected, the United States and Canada rank as the first and second countries in terms of site traffic, combining for well over 90% of visits. However, it is a little surprising that Switzerland ranks third with 75 visits since June 1. We at the media can only infer that this is due to our unbiased and neutral approach to reporting the BTSH news. Also of note are Israel and South Africa, which each had three visits during this time. Thank you to the Denim Demons’ Jeff Kamen for checking the site while pursuing a Master’s Degree in Israel and Cobra Kai’s Will Kuhns for checking in while working at the World Cup in South Africa.

2. Site traffic peaked on Monday, June 7. Although visitors were most likely looking for the results of the Sega NHL 94 tournament from the previous day, they were instead treated to a picture of Denim Demon David Kenneth Fraser doing a butterfly stretch with the Week 7 box scores. Upon seeing how many people were interested in stretching techniques, Demon captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens graciously posted a full lesson on pre-game calisthenics several weeks later. As of now, that post has been viewed 209 times.

3. The Denim Demons are apparently extremely popular among the general public, and it shows, as they dominate BTSH.org’s most searched keywords. Notable terms in the top 10 include “zack tinkelman” (3), “adam rubens plague sword of god” (4), “adam legend killer rubens” (6), and “meredith danberg-ficarelli aaron pagdon” (10).  Despite a concerted effort from the Rehabs, the keywords “denim demons suck” did not crack the top 100.

4. The final keyword in the top 20 is “the prestigious (yet imaginary) fairy tale cup”. This brings us in the media great joy, as we had no idea this concept would ascend to such popularity. However, we remain hopeful that the Barnacle Bowl, introduced one year after the Fairy Tale Cup, will see an even larger spike in searches next season.

5. Continuing with the Fairy Tale Cup, the most viewed post has been the Week 10 News and Notes, which featured the Dark Rainbows capturing the Cup for the first time in team history. This post also included a review of the Butchers’ team uniforms (modeled by Georgine “Mulva” Paulin) and a Know Your Neighbour profile on “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse of the Rehabs.  We attribute much of this traffic to friends and relatives of Trevor and Libby of the Rainbows, whose baby has grown up very quickly.

6. This year, the media have continued to upload more and more content to youtube. The most watched video of the 2010 season, by a landslide, is Dave Shyu’s shootout goal that clinched a Demons victory over their rival, the Rehabs. Sadly, the second “Tuques Hockey” commercial was viewed only about a third as often as Shyu’s, but we believe that had the Tuques not changed their team name to La Famiglia, the audience would be much larger.

Anklebiters Hazing Update

Head of the Disciplinary Committee Haanwa Chau is almost through with her investigation into possible hazing violations committed by the Gouging Anklebiters.  We will report her findings, as soon as they are made public.

Know Your Corporate Executive

Name: Sascha Puritz
Current Title: Chief Executive Officer, LBS, Inc. (2008-current)
Previous Titles: Intern, Plague 2000i (2001); Junior Defensewoman, Jinx (2002); Director of Religious Affairs, Sword of God (2002-2003); Captain, LBS (2003-2008)
Hometown: New York, NY
Education: Bachelor of Arts from Oberlin College; Juris Doctorate from Brooklyn Law School
Motto: “Everybody’s got a price.”
Mentor: David “Lefty” Leibowitz, former captain of Jinx and Sword of God

Current Responsibilities:

• Managing and supervising BTSH’s only corporation
• Overseeing all departments including offense, defense, and goaltending
• Working side by side with Director of Human Resources, Alexandra Chenitz, to handle all personnel issues
• Promoting the Corporation’s positive image in conjunction with Chief Marketing Officer Fernando Limonic and Director of Public Relations Erica Lee

Accomplishments:

• Led LBS to the BTSH Championship (2004)
• Incorporated the team as a public company (2008)
• Lauched a new branch of the Corporation in California alongside current VP of West Coast Operations Molly Jacobs (2008)
• Reinstituted a strict dress code to counteract the negative influence of Chief Financial Officer Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett (2010)

Awards:

• Nominee for the 2008 Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness and Grace
• Nominee for the 2009 Bob Weyersberg Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence
• Player of the Game for the 2004 Ladies All-Star Game (as a member of the Red Beavers)
• Forbes 2008 Young Executive of the Year

Organizations: BTSH Disciplinary Committee; NYC Food & Climate Summit; Oberlin Booster Club; Seth Wachtell for President

Special Skills: Meeting deadlines; Motivational speaking; Street hockey; Contract negotiations; Keeping a cool head under pressure

Home Life: In her spare time, Sascha enjoys donating her time to improve the lives of those less fortunate, most notably league degenerates.

Goals: Purchase all shares of LBS, Inc. from majority shareholder Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin and win another BTSH Championship…but not necessarily in that order