Week 10 Previews – Partie Un

Poutine Machine at Gut Rot
by Isaac

In one corner we’ve got Poutine, who are young, dumb and full of come at me bro.  And quite full of themselves too after receiving a shocking spot at No. 2 in the recent Annual Power Rankings post by one of their own.  Not saying they are undeserving of recognition for the incredible season they’re having, just saying it is still early.  

In the other we’ve got Gut Rot, the quintessential BTSH team that enjoys marinating in the true essence of what the league is really about.  At mid-season they’ve already accomplished one of their seasonal goals by collecting more points than 2016 while maintaining the blood alcohol content of an average Bostonian.  Can our drunken friends earn another W against a divisional foe?  Is the 1 pm time slot too early for them to shake off the fever of saturday night?

Prediction: the rabid Machine’s suffocating defense makes it an easy day for Hesse, but a frustrating one for GR, 3-0.

Instant Karma at Cobra Kai
by Richiehero

Karma vs. Kobra Kai, or the KKK Game as Etile Llort likes to call it, is a matchup that everyo….wait it’s Cobra, not Kobra? That sucks. Fuckin’ Llort.

Anyways, Karma is coming off a decisive victory over the Riots where league sweetheart, Isaac, scored two goals and Heather played her best game yet.  I’m not just saying a girls name just to put it there.  You dolts know I don’t do that.  She was in great spots all game and almost scored.  Lisa got checked into the fence and one of the refs was laughing so hard he forgot to call the actual penalty.  Luckily Ryann was reffing and did.

Campbell might be receiving praise, but Liam and Nabataz are doing all the work.

On the other side, the Rachels of Cobra Kai are in first place after disposing of the Cro-okers 4-0.  This guy Campbell is pretty good in net, eh?  Paul B. scored his first two goals of the season to lead the way and could be due for more.

Prediction: None shall pass one against Campbell.  Nabatz will be like James Ellsworth while leading LJ and Goth Rachel to distract the turds on Karma, while jerks like Liam and Sebastian score and get all the credit.  Will will also score but he’s not a jerk. 4-0 Kobra Kai over Karma.

Gremlins at Corlears Hookers
by Isaac

You can never count out the Hookers when these two are in the game.

On paper, the Gremmies and Hookers are nearly identical.  Both have earned 12 points by winning six games with only three losses, are 2-2-0 in their division, have legitimate scoring threats (Erich & Cody and Sarah & Tiffany & Jenna), ball moving defenders (McAdams and Danilo) and quality protectors between the pipes (Batuwantudawe and Longwell).  So what does separate these two?  Well for starters, one is captained by a savvy league veteran with the demeanor of Ferdinand the Bull and the other by a blundering buffoon.  (We’ll let you figure that one out for yourselves.)

Prediction: the Gremlins defeated the Hookers earlier this year and will sweep the series on Sunday by 5-3 with Tim finally getting on the scoring sheet. Oh yeah, Walker ends up earning a Glanzer (-2).

Denim Demons at Fuzz
by Isaac

The BTSH equivalent of a Money In The Bank Cage Match.  Neither of these back down from a challenge and both are out to prove that their recent success is no fluke.  Also, add in that they know each other and don’t like each other and we’ve got pure ‘oh no you didn’t’ finger wagging all game long.

The Demons and Fuzz had rough starts to their seasons, but have been performing close to expectations lately. This is the time of year when collecting points isn’t the only thing that matters – it is creating and sustaining an identify too (that becomes paramount for all teams during the second half of the season).

Are the Fuzz the underachieving bag of talent that are collapsing under the weight of last season’s success?  Are the Demons last year’s Hookers that regressed and tanked in order to rebuild?  These questions may not be answered in just one game, but at least we’ll be learning more about who they are.

Prediction: the team you love to hate outduels the team you used to hate with Fuzz taking this one 4-2.

Butchers at Gouging Anklebiters
by Richiehero

Judging by Marko’s Instagram this will be played 4 on 4 with her and Creamy making out at center court the whole time. And that’s bad news for the Butchers.  (No offense to Diana.)  Creamy may have lucked out in his personal life, but Probie and the boys will certainly take that trade off.

Have you seen this women’s right glove? If so, call 1-900-MIX-A-LOT.

However this will cause problems for the Biters as they like to have Joe P. lead the breakout and having the middle clogged will certainly deter their transition game.  Not only that, but Sarah M., Caroline, Amy and the rest of the Biter women are going to be annoyed that Diana is taking such a long shift.

The Butchers won’t mind as Arnold will get tossed, JSB is really chill and will be happy for Creamy and Peter…that dude that replaced Jeff will still score two goals.

Prediction: I predict a Butchers upset…3-2!


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.