Tompkins Square Riots at What The Puck
by Isaac 

Summertime and the living’s easy for Laura and the Riots, except when you’ve got to face a divisional pest like WTP.  That rowdy bunch of orange knuckle-headed pucks can be a handful to deal with.  Luckily for the Riots Sharif has been back in the mix and the skillful duo of Joe and Drew know how to keep calm and motor on.

Just a whisper of Joe and Drew is enough to make the Puck’s defense, led by Eric, quiver in their sneakers.  Human Grease Fire is new to these rivalries and we’ve heard that he’s susceptible to monitoring his stats more than the scoreboard.  Emily will need to pull this unruly band together in the second half if they want to survive this divisional clash.

Prediction: when life gives you oranges you make screwdrivers and that’s what the Riots will be sipping on while savoring this victory, 3-2.

Mathematics (W/L/L/W/L) at Sky Fighters (L/L/W/W/L), Tompkins East, 1630
by Jer-homie

While both teams ended up with a loss each by the end of Week 9, we can’t shame them for losing more than giving credit to their opponents where credit is due. Eli and company faced the unflappable Fresh Kills, and Infanti and his posse squared off against a Rachel’s tide—credit to Justin P. for being so vulgar—who probably recruited that saxophone player (who played “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in the 2010 PBR Cup final) to score the goal that would guarantee them the win. That was a long sentence.

What can the media say other than if the Teytelbaums show up, this could be an open and shut case for the azzurri. However, the matriarch of the Norris clan has revitalized her family’s reputation by posting three pictures of what seems to be good times after an afternoon of rounders. Positive thoughts all around, Sam, Zach, and Rebecca will hope to spread that to their teammates and give Stein a run for his money.

Prediction: This will be a close game, but Roxanne could be the difference that settles the bout. David L. has been minding the net diligently with his sub-2.00 GAA, and he’s been giving them the wherewithal to take the division.

Mega Touch (L/L/L/L/W) at Dark Rainbows (SO/L/L/L/L), Tompkins West, 1630
by Jer-homie

This is a time for either squad to start seeking redemption after having a shambolic first half. Week 9’s climate conditions weren’t nice to anyone, and even forced Rainbows’ substitute goaltender to leave midway through the second half of the game. On the opposite court, Mega’s Brady somehow found a moment to be opportunistic for his winless side and slot one past Jamie. [A lesson for Walker: nothing is more important than facing a team with nothing to lose; just imagine if you didn’t run that marathon, right?]

One point separates these teams, but their stats tell a different story. For example, Alex EM’s army has lost four games by 2 goals (the second of which could be an empty netters); whereas Bernstein’s bunch has been robbed of a chance of trying to post a comeback, having fallen to seven different teams by 3 or more goals. Everyone in this clash knows that, while they’ve been designated the #19 and #20 spots by the media, a win—or even a point—at the start of the latter half potentially rejuvenates one or both teams. But will Sunday’s weather be kind or awful to them? A brief look says 80 degrees with 55% humidity with a 20% chance of precipitation… so probably kind.

Prediction: Sophomore player Eric T. could break out of nowhere if he makes his appearance known. But his formidable foe that afternoon will likely be Cheeky, who’s been unbelievable these past few weeks. “Studies have shown that 70% of the earth is covered by water; the rest is covered by Cheeky.” Mega Touch victorious by 1.

LBS, Inc. (W/SO/W/L/W) at Fresh Kills (W/W/W/W/W), Tompkins East, 1730
by Jer-homie

Hockey Night in Tompkins, National Telecast

Folks, this is a game that many will silently regret missing (because they’ll likely be getting plastered at Hifi/Double Wide/Ace/13 th Step) because the stakes are certainly high. There’s the obvious Fresh Kills win streak that could be broken, and then there’s the great sense of LBS. momentum that entered after their victory over the Rehabs in Week 9. These two had a rendezvous at the season opener, from which Ariel and Ashley S. tallied and Longwell filled in for a shutout. Fresh Kills has an opportunity to keep the status quo, and the LBS. can seek redemption.

We’ll expect a real barnburner with Ariel, Connor, and Sheena against the kid and Karsten when it comes to who can light the lamp the most. 38 goals between the five of them is a stat that is staggering to the point that Ed and the Pork Fried Rice veterans would raise their eyebrows. The type of offensive output seen today by all teams is something that only one or two teams 10 years back wouldn’t even fathom accomplishing.

Prediction: I wrote that LBS. was a legitimate threat to the Rehabs in Week 9, and I write similarly about them in this Week 10 showdown. Soko will have to batten down the hatches because their opposition is pacey. Gabe and Ariel parry with prodigious stickhandling and could definitely hit twine. But if the LBS. secondary scorers join the rush (Jake, Dustin, and the rest) and add to Karsten and the kid’s tally, they’ll serve the Kills the finest cold dish this summer. Los blancos by one after regulation.

Filthier (L/W/SO/W/W) at Rehabs (W/W/SO/W/L), Tompkins West, 1730
by Jer-homie

Hockey Night in Tompkins, National Telecast

A divisional matchup between midseason-ranked #3 (Rehabs) and #4 (Filthier)—thanks to a one-sided journalist—should be less intense but equally as competitive as the game above. Ann, James, and now Suvin are going to town on some teams, most recently making a statement against the underachieving Fuzz a fortnight ago. With Cherie returning from international duty, the rossoneri hope to get wheels up again after one of the toughest opponents they faced this season in LBS.

One conception of the Rehabs might be that they’re physical; of course, their logo is the face of a beaten up hockey player. But other than the alleged fence incident (which wasn’t even started by a Rehabs’ player), there really hasn’t been any rabblerousing since the days of Villano and “Dinner Plate” Feldman. On the same vein, Filthier has been relatively quiet except where it matters: the scoresheet. Being third in scoring productivity means they’ve loosened the reins on their offense and it’s been paying off.

A concern about this game could be the kit clash. Two days ago marked the longest day of summer, so the sun will be still roasting players even after 5pm. Goalies will be delicate in choosing their water breaks, but the outfield players will surely be drenched by the half. Also, the West court isn’t as forgiving since more umbrage dominates the East bench area. That said, which side will don the change kit and go light?

Prediction: the team in the lighter color has a good chance of taking the match. But the for the sake of being unambiguous, Filthier could take the match due to spectacular goaltending (Tim K.) and goals from their very best (see above). The Rehabs won’t go down in regulation but expect some laser beams from Joey “Come get your Bola de Bolacha!” B.