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Week 10 News and Notes

Congratulations, Craig! You Get A Cookie!

Three Stars of the Week

Third Star: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, Corlears Hookers.  Olson weathered an onslaught of Elves shots to lead the Corlears Hookers to a 5-0 shutout, as well as a season sweep, of their Rubens Division foes.  The win propelled the Hookers into sole possession of first place in the league’s top division.
Second Star: Craig “Ug” LaCombe, Unicorns.  Ug played between the pipes for two different teams on Sunday, recording a victory in each game.  In the first game, a crucial Fairy Tale Cup matchup, he allowed just one goal, as his Unicorns defeated the Dark Rainbows 5-1.  Later in the day, LaCombe donned his pads once more for the Gouging Anklebiters and helped them win their second game of the season.  These Father’s Day victories were made even more special as his parents were in attendance to watch their son play.
First Star: Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia.  Miciletto once again sparked The Family’s dominant offense with a four-goal performance in his team’s 7-4 win against the Tompkins Square Riots.  This was his fourth consecutive game with at least one goal, and Miciletto now leads BTSH with 13 goals on the season.

Shaun deLacy GAA Watch

This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.

Goals Allowed This Week: 5 (vs. Corlears Hookers)
Goals Allowed Previously: 18
Goals Allowed This Season: 23
Games Played: 8
Goals Against Average: 2.88
Next Opponent: Dark Rainbows (2.44 goals per game)

Shaun put in his worst performance of the season on Sunday, allowing five goals to the Corlears Hookers.  As a result, his GAA rose to a robust 2.88 with half of the regular season remaining.  This week, Shaun finds himself in the pressure cooker that is the Fairy Tale Cup against the Dark Rainbows.  The Rainbows could only muster one goal last week against the Unicorns, but are hungry to spoil the Elves’ Cup hopes.

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Joe Polowczuk
Team: Unicorns
Suggested Nickname: JoePo
Rejected Nicknames: Wolverine, Diamond, UnderDog, Polow-suck
Origin: Upper Marlboro, Maryland
College: University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Quote: “Real Gs move in silence like lasagna.”
First Job: Stable boy at the Prince Georges Equestrian Center
Current Job: Architect at Watson and Associates
Current Accomplishments: Being nominated for the 2010 Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award
Current Failures: His miscalculations in the design of the Glanzer Dome have set the project back several years.
Hero: George Michael
Reason to Love Him: He and his linemate Chris are always smiling.
Reason to Hate Him: He’s stealing precious Lady Byng Awards from Chris.
Best Known For: Playing a musical interlude on the saxophone at the BTSH 2010 season ending party
Fast Fact: As a freshman, Joe was known as the sixth man behind Michigan’s famous Fab Five in basketball.  He would regularly sub in for Ray Jackson.  Unfortunately, Joe was booted off the team when he told Chris Webber to call a timeout during the final minute of the 1993 national championship game.
Favorite Things: Philadelphia Flyers, U2, his yellow Brazil hat, Marlborough Day
Favorite Imaginary Trophy: The Barnacle Bowl
Least Favorite Things: Ankle injuries, (the) Ohio State, dangerous surfing conditions, noisy eaters
Hockey Comparison: Tim Kerr
Non-Hockey Comparison: Joey McIntyre
Things The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Him: In a questionable decision by the Happy Little Elves management, Joe was allowed to play against them as a Rehab.  He proceeded to score a hat trick, boosting the Rehabs to their lone win of the season.
Down the Road: Joe coaches the Schumacher Conference All-Stars alongside Mega Touch’s Julie Katz, leading them to victory over the Weyersberg All-Stars coached by the Demons’ Danny Polinsky and the Elves’ Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten.  Joe’s team pulls ahead on a game-winning goal by Poutine Machine’s Mike Haas with two minutes remaining in regulation.

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