Abby Gives Herself Two Thumbs Up

Mighty Squirrels FTW!
Congratulations to Abby Meisterman of the Denim Demons for winning the inaugural BTSH Media Survivor Pool. Over the course of 10 grueling weeks, she managed to outlast 18 of BTSH’s most cunning and crafty individuals (and Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli).  Here is Abby’s formula for success:

Week 1: Sky Fighters defeat Mega Touch, 7-2
Week 2: Filthy Gorgeous defeats Mega Touch, 5-0
Week 3: Fresh Kills defeats Tuques, 5-1
Week 4: Denim Demons defeat Mexican Standoff, 4-3
Week 5: All games cancelled due to “rain fears”.
Week 6: Rehabs defeat Mega Touch, 2-1
Week 7: Unicorns defeat Mega Touch, 2-1
Week 8: Dark Rainbows defeat Mighty Squirrels, 2-1
Week 9: LBS, Inc. defeats Mexican Standoff, 5-2
Week 10: Mighty Squirrels defeat Mega Touch, 4-0

Ironically, the closest Abby came to being eliminated was in week 4, when she picked her own team.  That week, the Demons rallied from a two-goal deficit with 10 minutes remaining in regulation, allowing Abby to remain in the pool.  Also of note is the fact that she won the pool without ever picking What The Puck or the Corlears Hookers, which are normally two of the safest bets.  As the winner of this competition, Abby is entitled to write a post for btsh.org on any topic she chooses.  It is tentatively scheduled to be posted on Wednesday, June 24.

Stupid Bets
This is barely worth mentioning, but it’s clearly a pretty slow news week, so here goes anyway… Still stinging from the Happy Little Elves inability to procure the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup, Rich Glanzer has made a bet with Unicorns forward Susanna. Whoever scores more goals during the current season will win the right to call him or herself a “fairy”. As of press time, Susanna leads Rich 2-1. Fantastic.

Stupid Props

In an effort to back up his incoherent ramblings, Mega Touch captain Eric Devlin delivered on his promise to bring it down like Thunder God Thor (loosely paraphrased).  Although it did not help his team notch the victory, Devlin did produce a large hammer to motivate his team during their prime-time Hockey Night In Tompkins matchup.

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Jon Feldman
Team: Rehabs
Nickname: Dinner Plate
Rejected Nicknames: Salad Fork, Coffee Mug, d@ $hoW, Villano VII
Origin: Nepean, Ontario, Canada
College: McGill University
Early Aspirations: To be the on-air weatherman for CBOT-TV, Ottawa’s CBC affiliate
Previous Job: Marketing and business development for collegehumo(u)r.com
Current Job: Grad student at Wharton Business School
Hero: Donald Trump
Reason to Love Him: Compared to the rest of his team, his antics seem tame and non-offensive.
Reason to Hate Him: He’s still on the Rehabs.
Fast Fact: His favourite donut variety at Tim Hortons is the Honey Cruller.
Favourite Things: Ottawa Senators, visors, general agitation, superfluous Us
Favourite Penalty To Be Whistled For: Hooking
Least Favourite Things: Toronto Maple Leafs, Queen’s University, yellow snow, his opponents
Best Known For: He is the namesake for the Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation.
Hockey Comparison: Theoren Fleury
Non-Hockey Comparison: This.
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Him: His pivotal role in the neverending Rehabs-Demons rivalry
Down the Road: During the presentation of the 2009  Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award For Agitation and Instigation, award winner Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri and Feldman engage in a heated battle of words.  Fortunately, since both are just agitators and not goons, the altercation never escalates beyond verbal barbs.  However, since children are present at the ceremony (mostly from the Rainbows and What The Puck), Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher suspends El Guapo for eight games in the 2010 season.  Feldman is let off with a stern warning.