Charity Hockey Tournament Coming Soon!

The sixth annual charity street hockey tournament is rapidly approaching. This year, it will take place on Saturday, April 9, and all proceeds will go to Rose Charities. Rose is a non-profit organization that aims to help children and young adults who have suffered through poverty, disaster, exploitation, or lack of opportunity. It currently has 11 Disaster Relief Teams on the ground in Japan providing medical care, food, and medical supplies. Please donate to support these teams!

The tournament begins at 9:30 AM sharp, and anyone who does not pre-register online must arrive at 8:30.  Although everyone is encouraged to give more than the minimum, certain contributions will get you the following:

• $35 donation to play
• $50 donation to play and get a tournament t-shirt (shirts also available for $20 day-of)
• $70 donation to play on the same team as a friend

Visit http://www.charityhockeytournament.myevent.com to register, RSVP, and find more information.  If you have any additional questions, please contact Rachel “A-Korn” Greene, who is organizing the event.

In addition, the Fishmarket (111 South Street) is the bar sponsor for the tournament.  Post-tournament specials include $2 Miller Lites, $5 well drinks, and several appetizers.  They are donating 25% of the profits from that night to Rose, so come drink even if you can’t make the tournament.

Three Stars of the Week

Third Star: Val Penascino, Denim Demons. Playing on offense for the first time in his BTSH career, Penascino scored two goals en route to the Demons’ 6-3 win over LBS, Inc.
Second Star: Patrick Barch, Fresh Kills. In a week where four other goalies recorded shutouts, Barch still stood out with a stellar performance against the relentless What The Puck attack. He allowed just two goals in 55 minutes of play and stopped all three of WTP’s shootout attempts.
First Star: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, Mega Touch. In his debut with his new team, Muscles tallied three goals and two assists to lift the suddenly dangerous Mega Touch past the Gouging Anklebiters.

Shaun deLacy GAA Watch

This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.

Goals Allowed This Week: 3 (vs. Corlears Hookers)
Goals Allowed Previously: 0
Games Played: 1
Goals Against Average: 3.00
Next Opponent: Tompkins Square Riots (0.00 goals per game)

All things considered, deLacy weathered Opening Day fairly well, as he yielded only three goals to the Hookers’ dangerous offense. His next opponent, the Tompkins Square Riots, seems a little less threatening as the team was shut out in its opening contest. Of course, deLacy will still have to keep an eye on the Riots’ duo of Patrik Blohmé and Alexandre Frenette, who combined for 25 goals last season.

Know Your Neighbor

Name: Shafiq Perry
Team: Tuques La Famiglia
Nickname: Off-Black
Rejected Nicknames: Off-White, El Jefe, The Bad Guy, Shaq The Blade
Not To Be Confused With: Sharif
Origin: Miami Lakes, FL
College: Middlebury College
Quote: “Something happens to this…” (points to gold chain) “…something happens to you!” (throws toothpick at camera)
First Job: Caddy at Don Shula’s Golf Club
Current Job: Corporate attorney at a major New York law firm
Current Accomplishments: He won the media’s Most Underrated Male award in 2009.
Hero: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
Reason to Love Him: He oozes machismo.
Reason to Hate Him: He never appeared in a Tuques hockey commercial.
Best Known For: Being an integral component of captain Dave Ladanyi’s “New Superstar Initiative”
Fast Fact: Shafiq’s silhouette was used to make the Rose Charities street hockey logo.
Favorite Things: His custom-made Cadillac, Cookies ‘n Cream milkshakes, Miami Dolphins, Can’t Hardly Wait
Favorite Car Accessory: Fuzzy dice
Least Favorite Things: Buffalo Bills, hurricanes, civic engagement, maple syrup
Hockey Comparison: Brenden Morrow
Non-Hockey Comparison: Razor Ramon
Things The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Him: Shafiq’s La Famiglia jersey was the top selling item among all BTSH merchandise in 2010.
Down the Road: After concluding that the La Famiglia rebranding effort has been a failure, Dave Ladanyi decides to bring his team back to the “Golden Age” of Tuques hockey.  To do so, he boots all of the players from his “New Superstar Initiative” off of the team, including Shafiq.  Ladanyi does not boot Jon Fidge, however, as he believes, “Fidge has a real old school mentality.”  Shafiq is replaced on the roster by “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser, Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder, and Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher, who all played during the Golden Age of BTSH.