By Richiehero

Third Star

Boatsex Brad from Denim Demons

In the, “Stop Stop he’s already Dead” week there was a massive upset. The self proclaimed, “Back to Proudly Being League Dicks” Demons stunned the BTSH Universe by upsetting Fresh Kills. Brad got the Demons started early with a goal and an excessive fist pump for a 1-0 game. But as he usually does, he backed up his actions by netting another and scoring in the shootout.

Second Star

Hogg from What The Puck

It appears the 2017 ROY runnerup is now also a First Star runnerup. Hogg one upped Brad by scoring a hat trick in WTP’s 3-2 win over the Butchers. After the hatty Hogg flipped his own hat. The nice Sicko then presumably liked his own Facebook status while reading up on how WTP beat Pork Fried Rice in 2006 for the BTSH Championship.

First Star

Tim B from Fuzz

Once again, Hogg lost the top spot to another goalie.

Two weeks ago Tim Brown walked up to me before the game and said, (The parts in italics are true)

Tim: “Hey bud. I think Malkin deserves almost as much praise as Crosby, but I’ll get to that later. You know you guys scored 53 goals last year at this time? Do you know how many you have this season?”

Me: “19?”

Tim: Hey man, that’s really close but it’s actually 18. I’ll win 1-0 if I have to. I will steal a game for this team. Yeahhhhh!!!

Tim then proceeded to shit the bed against the Biters. But all is forgiven after his masterful performance against the Rehabs. Tim lost his chance at a double shutout, when he let up the only shot he faced against Mega in the next game.

Special Olympic Star!!!

I was not at the Olympics but there will be only one star given. It is to the beautiful Miss Elizabeth who now joins Amy D. as the only multiple time female arm wrestling champion. Feminism!!!