by Richiehero

What a week at BTSH. The All-Star Game was back and now we know why we stopped having one. God hates the Anklebiters and made it rain, ruining their Black Panther party. At least that was the vibe throughout the day…as team after team pulled a Rubens and either didn’t bother showing or just quit.

But much like Math’s defense, the waters receded (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AconZHeXeF8) and the following Heroes emerged.

Third Star
Tia Captain of Winning All Star Team

Sweet, young innocent Tia maybe isn’t so sweet and innocent after all. After each goal her team scored, she had them taunting the other team by taking pictures, rowing, doing the limbo etc. Now that the Rainbows are winners, it’s going to be a long season for the rest of you foos.

Second Star
Bryan S. MVP of All-Star Game and Ace Bar (Rainbows)

Speaking of the Rainbows…Bryan had himself a day. While no one can score against the impenetrable Gut Rot defense, Bryan made up for it by scoring the first ever BTSH ASG hat trick*. But more than that, he crushed his teammate Jessica in two separate races (OK Jessica, the second race was close). Jessica was visibly distraught, as she couldn’t believe, “someone so close to death like Bryan” beat her. #Patriarchy!!!!

First Star
Dave GDR and the Riots

There was no, “Stop stop he’s already dead!” meme. Dave G.D.R. and the Riots pulled the upset of the season by defeating Cobra Kai in a shootout. While the OT ended 2-2…the real story was the shootout as Dave stopped all 10 Cobra Kai shots. We are thinking of kicking him out of the HOF so we can put him back in. But seriously Riots…well done. Dave F gets credit for scoring off of Campbell and the whole damn team deserves credit for playing such a great game. Though your celebration sucked. There should have been a BarchPile after that win.

Honorable Mentions

Probie: He ordered sandwiches and everyone ate them.

Ed from Gut Rot: Big shutout over the Rainbows.

Susie from WTP: Third goal of the season…third goal of her career.

Happy Little Elves: The Pharaoux(x)’s decided as an Iconic Championship Winning Franchise, the 5 remaining Elves will be allowed to pick a representative in all future ASG’s. It was a Pharoeux Decree.