By Richieohero

Third Star

Happy Little Elves!!

The last two times the Elves played were not good. In 2015 Ben Chadwick eliminated what he loved most in life, by beating them 3-0 in the play-in game, and 3-0 in the overall Karma vs. Elves series. The Elves then disbanded and became the evil Fuzz. The Elves returned for one game against Gut Rot, and proceeded to do what they did best. Lose in humiliating fashion.

On Sunday Sarah T. and Chadwick proudly wore their Elves shirts in the ASG, and both scored a goal.* (*= I seriously doubt either scored a goal)

Second Star

Dan from the Riots

I’m hoping there are no mistakes, because the last time I wrote about a Riot player in a positive way I was accused of such atrocities as killing the #MeToo movement, pelting rocks at cats and losing the PBR Cup.

Dan was pretty quiet yesterday (unless he wasn’t, how the hell should I know, I didn’t watch the game) until late when he scored the Riots 4th goal and then won it in OT, breaking Georgine and RG2’s heart. Good on you, Dan! Also great job whoever wrote the preview of the game who predicted a Riots upset! Sadly, it wasn’t me.

First Star

Jeff the Goalie from Mega Touch

I was told this was Jeff’s last game in BTSH and I immediately started hyperventilating thinking my team would suck again, but then I was told it was Jeff from Mega Touch’s last game and I immediately lost interest. But he had a really good game and congrats Mega pulling off the upset of the year. Actually, it’s not the “Upset of the year” because Cobra Kai was more upset and wrote an angry memo imploring us to give the refs a Not Star for their dreadful officiating. Drama score 8, right Russ????

Honorable Mentions:

None! I’m not getting yelled at by Alexa, Hicks and Popack for awarding participation trophies again.

Not even the goalie from Poutine who played out of his friggin mind but lost on the 3-0 that Fuzz had. Not even Tim who I think made a save and got the shutout in said game.

And especially not you Probie. You screwed me in 2016 when I scored an OT goal on ASG day and you stole my first star. The only reason I wrote these previews is to ensure you get nothing. NOTHING!!!

Happy Fathers Day to all who served, and see you in two weeks if our softball playoffs don’t interfere with the Butchers game. (8-0)