by Richiepoothang

The Rose Charity will get their own writeup, but if we were doing three stars for that, Rachel would get the third for all her hard work putting it together. Rachel would also get the 2nd for answering my 20 texts, 5 gchats, and 2 emails. But the first star would go to the MVP of the tournament and that of course is my nephew/Godson Adam, who never played hockey before and got an assist on one of his first shift. It is odd he won the MVP despite going 1-2 but that’s the way the voters voted.

Now onto the three stars of Week 4!

Third Star
Peter B of the Butchers

After 3 games the Anklebiters were an impressive 3-0 with 19 goals scored! That’s exclamation point worthy as they were averaging more than 6 goals per game. Probie had 7 goals and outscored 9 teams by himself. Meanwhile over in the top division, the Butchers were 0-3 with a putrid 2 goals for. But that all changed Sunday when the Butchers and Anklebiters fought over the love of Marko’s and Creamy’s baby. In the end…both parents lost as Peter B. proved he is everyone’s Daddy, by shutting out the hottest team in BTSH, 3-0.

Second Star
Video Replay!

For the first time in BTSH history, a call was reversed due to video replay. The Gremlins were tied in the shootout with the Dark Rainbows, until Tim deked out Eitan and scored the winning goal. The Rainbows booed, the crowd booed and eventually HOF Bob W. checked his phone and reversed the call. But the joy was shortlived as Alex scored right after to give ISIS…errrrr the Gremmies the victory.

Dicks.

BTW, this is not the first time video replay was used in BTSH. It was checked at least one other time in approximately 2007, but the call on the rink was confirmed. If you have any questions about the use of instant replay going forward, please message Hicks. He can be found here.

First Star
The Crease!

When Cobra Kai beat the Rehabs and were given a star, Hicks angrily said, “I guess anyone that beats the Rehabs gets a star.” You know it, Phareoux!

While the Rehabs beat Math 2-1, they certainly couldn’t beat The Crease. The Rehabs scored FOUR goals that were disallowed due to crease violations. Math had one taken away as well. So yeah…the Rehabs beat Math 2-1, but got obliterated by The Crease 4-2.

Honorable Mentions

Adam R. of the Demons. Anshu had a great game and they wanted to reward her with a goal at the end. So Adam said, “Let’s try to get Anshu one.” Sure enough, Anshu has the ball right by Mega’s net. Adam called for the ball. Classic Adam! Thankfully Anshu didn’t listen and put one past Mike.

Barch, but no pile: No Gabe, Frank or Tom no problem for FK. Hey assholes (Ariel and Soko), your stupid texts to me didn’t trick me. I know you guys don’t need them to win. But you did need Barch.

Eitan: Dude lost two shootouts despite being huge underdogs in both games. Way to make us Tribe members proud.

Bill from Instant Karma was amped up like Macho Man snapping into a Slim Jim against the Surly Fury (Gut Rot) and somehow scored from inbounding at the goal line. The laws of physics went out the window on that one.

Dark Rainbows: Damn you!!!! I would have been insufferable if you would have won and I predicted it.

Dark Rainbows again: But seriously, Tim K., Barch, Jamie never get a call when Greenwald can’t make it. They use a FA goalie or one of their own. That’s so damned commendable, and what the Spirit of BTSH (barf) should be.

Homeless man in TSP bathroom: As I’m taking a leak, the guy in the shitter is talking to himself. This was his conversation. “This orange juice sucks. You know? It’s terrible. I’m so angry. This is the worst orange juice. I’m so mad right now, and I stole it!” I laughed told him that’s hilarious and if he wasn’t taking a shit I’d fist bump him. He said he was always funny.

The last HM goes to Tim K. for not allowing Lee and his Hookers any goals, including the garbage time ones that they are so good at. This is his 7th career shutout, if you only include last year and this one.