By Cat

As you would imagine I am THRILLED to find that the beef beat hit the presses before I started handing out participation trophies. Living for the drama. Was also living for the first beautiful court day on Sunday – BTSH at its finest, lots upsets and lots of day drinking. Well maybe ‘living’ is an exaggeration of my level of activity. As I said repeatedly to my wonderful editor when he was all like ‘where the hell are three stars’ – Manhattans on tap are a bad idea. I also legitimately don’t know why teams like the Dark Rainbows and Gut Rot are ever scheduled 12:30pm games. What do you think we do on Saturday night, drink water and go to bed at 9?

I can’t wait for Art Shamsky, 1969 NY Mets World Series Champion, my best friend, and newly minted New York Times Bestselling Author and lay down the law with Meatbox.

Third Star

Ed P from What The Puck

After betraying Diane, Ed proves his worth to What The Puck by holding strong against Fuzz. WTP scored all three goals in the first half and then tripled down on defense in the second, ultimately holding their lead and finishing 3-2.

[Refers to notes from editor] I am supposed to make a wrestling reference for some reason? Yeah idk, Rich just make up your own self-own from your wrestlemania encyclopedia.

Second Star

Allison from Gremlins

That was the literal nastiest penalty shot I’ve ever seen. No Barch Pile after that one.

First Star

Erich from Gremlins

I am fully aware that I give Erich too many stars but I can’t help it if he’s Good TV.

In the second insane upset of the day, Gremlins were down 1-2 to Fresh Kills until the last thirty seconds of the game, when Erich swooped in to score and tie the game. In the tiebreaker shootout, Erich followed Allison’s truly beautiful goal with the goal that sealed Fresh Kills fate.

I got a shorter email from John than I honestly expected to with game deets. First time in Gremlins history to beat Fresh Kills.