By Cheekbones

Written while listening to Salt-N-Pepa’s Shoop…

Here I go, here I go again GIRLS what’s my weakness? 

Free Agents. Yetter filled in for the Rainbows yet again, and this time tied the game against Mega with one minute left and then the brother had it goin’ on with somethin’ kinda, uh, wicked and buried one in the shootout. Oh my goodness, girl look at him. 

Straight up, wait up, hold up, Mr. Lover – apparently Yetter wants to be called “Blakwolf” now. Rainbow’s Cat B was asked for comment, replying “Yeah he want nicknames and a private jet and shit. We told him you better become an offish Rainbow before you go asking for sparkling mineral water in your dressing room, nahm saying?”

Or a shotgun – bang! What’s up with that thing? 

Quoth the pigeon who got nailed during Biters/Math. Apparently he came out on a sunday all bright as the sun, I wanna have some fun and then that f*cking asshole Probie took a wrister at the net, missed and nailed the bird. Mr Pidge reportedly stayed upright, stunned, and and after a few moments flew away sideways with its right side dropped while bobbing up and down as well as back and forth. I reached out to Birdbreaker, asking if he regretted the shot, he replied “I hit the skins for the hell of it, just for the yell I get, mmmm mmm mmm for the smell of it.”

What a douche.

So, Jamie had a big day. Onlookers report roughly 1M saves against Karma, holding a shutout for the Gremmies. Then the Biters were all “come and give me some of that yum-yum chocolate chip, honey dip, can I get a scoop?” and asked him to sub in when Craig went “nah,” and Jamie replied “on your mark, get set, go, let me go, let me shoop” helping the Biters to a 5-4 over Math. Well-fought, Math, sans Norri.

Getcha getcha lips wet cause it’s time to have Pep… 

Something rhyming with ‘brain beers’ loomed on Sunday, shutting down the Demons/Poutine game but Karma/Grems went “fuck it” and played it out. What team doesn’t want to play in the rain? I don’t get it.

So whatchu wanna do? What YOU wanna do? MMM I wanna… 

Chill out and drink some Modelo. Cheers to the Butchers who played Fresh Kills twice, and got fresh-killed twice. Why cheers to them? Halfway through the second game they cracked open some beers and said “hey since we’re getting hammered, let’s get hammered and enjoy some hockey.”

Third Star

Mr. Pidge who took a shot to the face, stayed on his feet and then took flight again. He definitely ain’t right, and may have lost his speech and short term memory, but he put on a good face.

Second Star

Butchers for being good beer-league sports through an embattled double header.

First Star

Jamie B for crushing the Grem’s game and then jumping in net for the Biters. Would have been nice if you coulda helped poor Pidge tho.

Honorable Mention

You make me wanna scream ooo ooo ooo… 

Ellery gave a solid facebook rant against tyranny, let it fly, and then said he “came to my senses and I chilled for a bit,” and took it down as not to be left echoing in eternity on the group page. Love you brother.