By Richiehero

After a miserable week of 90s songs anyone has ever heard of thrown on the Facebook page, and then for some reason perfume/cologne pictures, I demanded to do the 3 Stars. While the vast majority of you will hate these strictly hockey stars, much like your parents feeding you broccoli, it’s good for you, you just don’t know it.

But before I get started, Cheeky wanted to give a star to the Mop Guy from the prom. No.

Third Star

Joe M from Corlears Hookers

The playoffs this year is going to be off the chart. Never before have so many teams had a legit shot to win. The Hookers/Anklebiters game was stellar. Back and forth both teams went, before the Hookers constant pressure finally made the Anklebiters break with 2:20 left to go in the game. Joe M. scored the game winner to beat the #2 seed and provided the Lbs. a chance to clinch the #1 seed. But…

Second Star

Hicks from Rehabs with an assist from Cherie

It was not to be. In The Game of the Year candidate, both teams played whatever term is better than stellar. It had something for everyone, great goaltending, fast paced action, and for the Ol’ School BTSHers, an extremely clean game, outside of a check from Frey to Hicks, in which Frey bounced 4 feet and the ref put down his arm since he initially thought Hicks hit Frey. 

But Hicks isn’t getting the star for that. His whole game was great. He made two great passes that Zisser made even better saves on. The ending was insane. Initially everyone thought it was Lbs. ball but the refs in Toronto reversed it and gave it to the Rehabs. With the clock ticking Cherie wisely called a timeout, to not only stop the clock but gave the Habs a chance to settle down. After “Cover” Alex May shot the ball, Hicks put in the rebound and did an amazing celebration, even better than Jerome when the Elves were down 11-3 and he got an assist (also against the Lbs. and sadly I’m not joking). Zisser threw his stick in disgust and I can’t wait for these two teams to play in the playoffs. Only time will tell if this game was a paradigm shift. 

First Star

Heather from Gut Rot, BITCHEZZZZ / Fuzz

But the first star very deservedly goes to Heather from Gut Rot. In OT, Mega’s best player Matt J. had the ball and saw a sea of open space…if he could just get by Heather. He couldn’t as she stole the ball and backhanded it top shelf for her (presumably) first OT winner. You know me…I don’t do hyperbole, and this was the Play of the Year in my opinion. So why do Fuzz get a star for this?

Not because we beat Fresh Kills…but because now it’s on you Mega! This Gut Rot victory totally trumps your victory over us!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Congrats you bitches of Gut Rot!!

Honorable Mention

Alexa Bliss because the cover photo is going to be of her for the foreseeable future for all the atrocities y’all committed last week.

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