Third Star
Predictability of Stupidity

Some of the best advice that Bullet-Tooth Tony ever offered was to “never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.” Case in point, Sultan and Hornswoggle, two league vets and media writers often dare to preview games and predict outcomes for our own enjoyment. Last week one of them stepped in it by accurately calling the Rehabs game 5-1 because Eric R would give up a goal and the other proclaiming that a game would be “shit, pure shit”. Note to each of them: don’t piss off one of the best goalies in the league and don’t poke a potentially sleeping giant.

Prediction: Rehabs will blank Fuzz in their next contest (only in the one Eric plays in though) and the Biters will end Poutine’s Cinderella season by dressing them in a clown suit in the playoffs.

Second Star
Hobo Commentary

During the contest between the Gremlins and Rehabs a lively hobo sauntered into the west court, made himself comfortable on a bench and provided some colorful commentary on the game. Quickly discovering which Rehab was Amber he proceeded to repeatedly (and loudly) announce ‘Amber Alert!’ each time she had the ball. All while serenading the Gremmies/Bananas/Human Condoms (as they were sometimes called) with his version of the Beatles ‘Yellow Submarine’ and blurting out football plays during inbound countdowns. And don’t feel bad Showtime, we think you wear No. 23 just as good as the original.

First Star
Keeping It Interesting

This past Sunday the Soko, CMB and Michalgia divisions were all wrapped up by Fresh Kills, Butchers and Poutine Machine respectively. The only division still up for grabs is Katz…

When the league reconvenes on Sunday, September 10^th the battle between the repugnant Corlears Hookers and the honor-less Cobra Kai will be pure must see BTSH. All the marbles, bragging rights and two precious points to catapult the winner into the CMB division (where they’ll be staring into Glanzer’s salty mug twice in 2018) will be on the line. The media has already predicted a win for the Hookers (resulting in one writer to go into hiding), however Liam, LJ, BigRussBoiRoss and Campbell haven’t bent the knee just yet. Noel, Sam, Danilo and Tiffany have all been here before and know what pressure means. It is all going down on the West Court at 2:30 pm and it promises to be epic. Be there or be dog hair.

Honorable mentions:

Scoring Punch – Jeff of Fuzz was an amazing +7 by scoring 4 goals and assisting on 3 others (all of which were Miles’).  With Hicks out until the playoffs (get well champ) and Sultan receiving more playing time the Fuzz need his offensive talents more than ever.

Shadow Karate – Tompkins Square Park has just about seen it all.  Dead girlfriend soup, Hobos, Dana smashing a bottle, Riots, BTSH, and now this…