by Cat

It’s been so long. How are you doing? I hope you had a wonderful winter. Did you play ice? Did you detox from vodka sodas and budweiser? Did you finally wash your Mylec gloves? Just tell me everything you were up to!

I say this from the heart: I did not really miss you guys that much. Maybe Rich. Did you hear I’m a Mets fan now? So we have a lot in common these days. A lot changes in five months!

The first Sunday back went off more like a whimper than a bang – rain delayed games, a few of the later matches decided to reschedule, the sun came out like the coy bitch she is at 5pm. Some dedicated types went to East Village Tavern but the cold and wet prevented a quality afternoon court hang. No court hang = no good goss for me to turn into an arrestingly funny three stars.

Third Star

The Boo’ers

Ok the only good goss I heard is that Probie scored within 5 minutes against Math and everyone booed.

Love it. I’m obsessed.

Second Star

Rem from Dark Rainbows

This wouldn’t be the media without blatant Rainbow propaganda:

Rem returned after taking the year off to get married (last time I checked that only takes one day not the whole summer but what do I know!) and then took it upon himself to score the game-winning goal in penalty shootouts.

In doing so he also:

• Honored our personal agreement which was “Hey Rem can you score this turn so I don’t have to go next.”
• Redeemed the DR’s devastating Schlitz Cup loss.

Welcome back!!!

First Star

Jamie from Gremlins

There was a tight matchup between Karma and Gremlins, and ultimately yellow snuck out with a 1-0 win.

I don’t have much of anything bitingly clever to say because Jamie is a nice person and a talented but unshowy player. But if I learned anything from my time with 1969 World Series Champion Art Shamsky, it’s that the difference is made when a team learns to start winning those tight games. Jamie’s source of calm can be a true difference-maker for the Gremlins. Which is needed because you know, they have JW on their team, who’s ready to fight anyone who makes a joke about how a taco is a sandwich. (I’m doing it once to get it out of my system and then I’m never bringing up this sandwich thing EVER AGAIN.)

Honorable Mentions

Hookers for pulling out a tight 1-0 down to penalty shots over Butchers.

Not to be a brown noser but thank you to Sarah/Brian for all the hard work they do kicking off the season and overseeing everything, to Alex for throwing what I think is safe to say the swankiest season opening party BTSH has ever seen.

A v handsome blonde bearded man on What The Puck scored the first goal of the season in his first ever BTSH game.

I want to put it on record that the Demons showed up despite the rain. Is this the first step to being league sweethearts?!??! Probably not, but it is the first step to squashing a real redundant chirp.